Tadaima
by addicted.strawberries
Summary: Ayuzawa Misaki had undergone a procedure where she had Usui Takumi erased from her mind. She was doing fine, until the same man who had made her fall in love then left her ever so suddenly came running back again. And he, who longed to see her again, was left to deal with the reality that the only woman he had ever loved has forgotten about him. [Sequel to 'Hiraeth']
1. I

**A/N:** **Here's the sequel to the bittersweet one-shot I previously published, Hiraeth (which I suggest you read first, before reading this)! I originally intended to leave the ending like that but heck, we both want to know what happens after that, right? RIGHT? Selective memory erasing procedure was based off of the process done by Lacuna Inc in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... the rest are just mere products of my imagination. ****Spoilers from different chapters of Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama manga by the amazing Hiro Fujiwara; some are canon, some not.**

 **Anyway, here it is! I've been dying to post this and for you to read it! Thank you for supporting Hiraeth and I hope you can support this too! I'd love to see your reactions in your reviews, HAPPY READING!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

Misaki jolted up from her sleep, panting heavily.

Last night was another night of confusion for her; reality seemingly becoming a distorted dimension.

The line between what's real and what's not was slowly coming to a blur.

These past few days felt as if she was born into an entirely new world, yet her awareness of everything is a concrete proof of contradiction to what she's feeling.

There was nothing wrong, it seemed.

Her life is the same as before.

But that man, with the blonde hair and emerald eyes which can hold so much emotions...the image of him stayed deeply buried within her. She couldn't comprehend the reason behind her inability to forget him despite it was the first time that she met him all her life.

Yes, he acted so weirdly it bothered her to the core but she was deeply unnerved regarding his persona. Is there something that happened in the past that she had unintentionally forgotten?

A drunk night perhaps and she unknowingly ended up in bed with him like in those hook-up movies?

Misaki's face heated up as she tried to slap herself out of it. That is just not possible because: first, she doesn't drink, and second, she wouldn't let herself get carried away like that.

She reached for her bedside table and opened a drawer, retrieving a small yellow post-it note from inside. She can't exactly remember when she made it. As to why she made it, she wasn't exactly sure either; but it has become a habit of hers to read it ever since she found it posted on the bedside table about three days ago.

Oddly enough, it seemed to calm her that what she deemed as reality matched what she wrote on the paper.

"Please read out loud," the words displayed.

"My name is Ayuzawa Misaki."

"I live with my mother, Ayuzawa Minako and my sister, Ayuzawa Suzuna."

"My father left us years ago with a debt."

"I am a third year in Seika High and the current President of the Student Council."

They were pretty basic facts - ones she perfectly know well - but the act of reading it out loud comforted her raging thoughts. Judging from the effect it had on her, she most probably made it with an important purpose behind. She can't be bothered with it though; just making it through her days without being bombarded with chaotic thoughts here and there was already a task.

Nothing changed.

It's all the same.

"I'm perfectly fine," she stated with assurance to herself.

She tried to, at least.

* * *

Usui Takumi gripped the cup in his hand.

Life was playing a cruel game and it decided to pick him as its opponent.

He watched as Ayuzawa Suzuna retrieve something from the bag she carried and slid a small card across the table.

 _Please avoid at all costs mentioning_ Usui Takumi _to_ Ayuzawa Misaki _or any event that may have any relation to him._

It seemed as if he was struck by lightning.

He cannot control the tremble that made its way to his hands that he had to put down the small piece of card back down. Sighing deeply, he run his hand through his hair in frustration.

The girl across him stayed silent, observing how he shifted from being collected into this mess of a man right now. Her gaze holds something that he couldn't describe; but if it was close to anything, it seems that she was ready to answer the questions that held him preoccupied as of the moment.

It was days later that he decided to confront someone regarding the chaos that stormed his mind through day and night. He was never a confrontational person; suppressing his emotions was something he has grown to master, coming from a household where his mere existence was denied to reality. But he was never going to make progress if he just sulked all by himself inside his apartment.

If he was going to get answers, he better get moving.

And so this was what pushed him to meet with the sister of the person he ever held so dearly with his life..who one day just ceased to remember him.

He ordered coffee for them both, in a cafe just a few blocks away from Ayuzawa's neighborhood.

Suzuna accepted his request when he appeared at their doorway, days after his initial bombardment which caused quite a chaos in her sister's new life - one where she relatively erased Usui Takumi from her existence.

"What...happened?"

Of all the questions Takumi had in his mind, these two words were the only ones that voiced its way out of him.

One year can sure change a person... but was it enough to make a person forget someone to the point of non-existence?

Suzuna heaved a deep breathe; this would surely take long.

She looked at him first. This man used to make her sister jumped from the highs of elation to the lows of fury. But when pain served as the middle ground that kept her sister preoccupied and helpless for so long, she was not going to take any of it.

"My sister has suffered for one year, Usui-san." Her voice took on her usual monotonous tone... but it slowly pushed her on edge to reminisce (not so happily) about the times that have passed.

"I think you know why, though...with you leaving her suddenly like that."

Takumi kept quiet, the familiar feeling of guilt and despair seeping into him once again.

Suzuna passed another white card across the table.

"Selective Memory Erasing Procedure?"

To say that he was astounded beyond words after that was an understatement. It was just incomprehensible for him, a slap of irony to the intelligence he possessed.

"You're probably thinking that you should get her back, right? Make her remember you again?"

Takumi just looked at Suzuna, whose eyes peered at him, waiting for his response to a question with the most obvious answer.

It was his first instinct.

To get her back.

To get her back in his arms and never let her go again.

He cannot continue on with life in a world without Ayuzawa Misaki; after the past year, he knows he cannot go on anymore without being able to hold her hand again.

He needs her.

He needs to-

"Don't." Suzuna looked at him with the most intensity she has felt in her being. "Don't you think you've been selfish enough? Our family was abandoned by my father years ago, with only a huge amount of debt in his tow; I think you know the effect that this has induced to my sister, right?"

He knows. Misaki has always been known as the Man-hating, Demon President of Seika High - he knows that her father was the prime mover of that aspect of her; she was forced to inherit the role of the breadwinner of the household for her family to survive...she was forced to sacrifice a lot of things, just to be able to bring in income for them. He has come to know this from the nights he spent with her, lying on the couch in his apartment with his arms around her - the nights he desperately wanted to go back to.

His breath hitched, suddenly realizing the weight of his sins.

"You were the only man she trusted, Usui-san. And being abandoned by a man she trusted with her life twice? I think it's more than enough reason for her to come upon this."

Suzuna pondered if what she said was enough; the man in front her was deduced to silence for a while now... her words must have been ruthless to him.

She heaved a deep sigh; she was sure she had done enough to send him into bouts of internal torture that he will bring upon himself later, after the words she told him.

"If you were able to get her back, how are you so sure that you're not going to abandon her again?"

 _"It hurts so much, Suzuna. I just want it to end."_

She cannot bear looking at her sister in the state she was in that time again.

"I think it's time for you to let go."

Ayuzawa Suzuna took her leave after muttering her word of gratitude for the drinks he bought her.

Takumi stayed still in his seat for a while, with only one thing running in his mind.

He was the one who destroyed the woman he loved the most.


	2. II

**A/N: Back with the second chapter! I'm really enjoying writing it right now (especially trying to get into Usui's head since he's such an introspective person) it's a challenge! I hope you can enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed translating this fictional world into words.**

 **I'd love to see your thoughts regarding the chapter in your reviews! I make it a point to send a private message of thanks to those who do just to show how much I appreciate it so it would be nice if you left a comment through a fanfic account :) Thank you for the continued support! Nevertheless, I'd still take this time to send a message to**

 _Minniemiss123: I really really appreciate how you share your thoughts in your review! I almost cried when someone was able to interpret my fic like that haha can I just say I love you to bits? Thank you so much!_

 ***** Just an extra note, I took a human anatomy course in my first year of college and though I have a background on the terms that I used in the procedure, please take note that this fanfiction is PURELY fictional. I made up Dr. Hajime, her clinic and her explanation of the process!**

 **I myself don't like lengthy notes so here you go! Be back soon with the 3rd one ;) HAPPY READING!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

"Alright."

Takumi heard the familiar sound of the call being ended before he pressed the power button of his phone. Running his hand through his hair, he sighed out in frustration as he slumped back down on his couch. He stared at the open book on his coffee table; he was reading it just moments ago before he received a call from his brother, Gerard Walker.

He would be lying if it didn't cause him anxiety when he saw his name flashed on the screen of his phone.

He had managed to steer clear of trouble with the Walkers for a long time (if one could consider a year to be long). He had followed their whim down to the dot, which included him staying away from her for as long as possible.

It was never his intention to abandon Ayuzawa Misaki just like that; after he had told her that he would be transferring to Miyabigaoka come their third year in high school...it _was_ the original plan, as least it was. When news of his resistance to succumb to the wishes of the family (whose title he didn't think they rightfully deserve as they saw him as a shame to their name) surged forth from Gerard's bodyguard, Cedric, he received a call from his brother with a threat to the life of the girl he loved.

 _"_ _It's all in your hands now, brother. One more act of resistance and you shall never see her again."_

He knew what those words meant. And to come from someone who possesses a name with such power, there wasn't any hint of a humorous threat behind that message. They were serious about exerting force, and they had found the only weak point that he has.

The day after he had received the threat from his brother, he found the papers of his withdrawal from Seika High sitting on his kitchen counter… just waiting for his signature. He could do nothing else. His transfer to Miyabigaoka was done in a haste, not requiring a single bit of effort from him as the hectic process was completely managed by his brother's subordinates.

It was pragmatically, the correct thing to do: to keep Misaki away from harm. But he was sure that he failed miserably in the most important aspect of his relationship with her… in keeping his girl safe, he had inflicted in her the greatest pain possible by abandoning her.

There were times when he couldn't bear not seeing her for a single time during the day. But he resisted his own whims as his brother's words clouded his mind. Recklessness was not something he thought about anymore.

He satisfied the desires of his heart by looking at their picture he took during her birthday; he calmed his raging instincts of running to her and holding her into his arms by inhaling the scent of the muffler, which had a faint scent of her from when she painstakingly knitted it for him; he shut down his worrying mind by drifting to memories of her touch and kisses that only ever belonged to him.

His efforts of controlling himself hadn't gone unnoticed by his family. The threats have died down eventually and he was sure that he can release the breath that he didn't know he was holding in, knowing fully well that Misaki is finally safe from his family.

Gerard's call a while ago reminded him of his current dilemma though.

His brother's current health condition has never been better. But one fact still remains: his health couldn't withstand the amount of stress that the heir of the Walker Corporation has been bestowed; he was fine now, but the moment he resumes his duties in preparation of his inheritance, it won't take long for him to be incapacitated enough to be constantly hospitalized as he used to.

By the end of three months, he will graduate from high school in Miyabigaoka High. From there, everything shall go as planned for him: he will return to England and resume the duties of the Walker heir in place of his brother. It didn't matter anymore that he was the illegitimate son; his grandfather will not let his established empire crumble down without exhausting all efforts possible first.

He had come to learn of this plan about a week ago, and knowing that coming back to Japan after those three months was a future which he could not promise to himself… he planned to fix things with Misaki first. The subject regarding Misaki being his lover has not been touched by his family since his resistance stopped; but it doesn't change the fact that he couldn't leave everything behind with having her waiting for him.

He wasn't sure whether he was going to end his untouched relationship with her or not… but he didn't want to see her running to another man's arms either.

He never came to the conclusion anyway when he found out that Misaki had him erased from her mind.

* * *

 _HAJIME CLINIC_

 _Tokyo, Japan_

Despair.

If there was one word for this place, that would be it.

Usui Takumi placed the card back in his pocket as he took careful steps inside the small office. He looked around the people seated at the side and for a minute, imagined Misaki to be one of the patients sitting there, with misery etched on her face that matched with the ones beside her.

He tried to push the thought away as he felt his chest tighten and walked closer to the reception desk. He stood still for a moment before the woman behind the desk took notice of him.

"Are you here to make an appointment, sir?" The pale woman in front of him peered at him patiently, waiting for his answer.

He thought about it; he wasn't really here for an appointment, rather he was here to seek explanations that would calm his raging mind. But seeing the amount of patients waiting to be called, he was sure the clinic had no time for 'that' kind of appointment.

"Yes, I am," he beat himself to it.

"No. 15...kindly write your name here and then take a seat there as you wait for your name to be called." The woman motioned for the seats at the side.

"Just my name?" Clinics would always ask for patients to fill out an identification form upon first consultation and it made him wonder how this clinic would be any different.

She looked at him with initial confusion but seem to come at her conclusion soonafter.

"Ah...well, the first consultation meeting would be comprised of the briefing of the procedure. You only get to fill out one at your next appointment," she waved her hand at him, stating something in one breathe it seemed as if she had rehearsed it, "Not all go to the second one so we found it a waste to do it on the initial appointment."

Not all go the second appointment? It made him wonder why.

Takumi just nodded in return and got his number from her before taking a seat. He took one between a woman who held a box which contained a frame of an image of an infant together with some brightly colored baby clothes, and a man who held only a baseball bat in his hand. He was intrigued by it and the man seemed to notice his questioning look.

"My ex-girlfriend hit me with this when she first met me."

He was never really one to interact with anyone that easily, contemplating whether or not he would say something as a reply to what was said to him.

But he tried to stifle a chuckle nonetheless, because the recount of violence reminded him of someone.

"She thought I was a burglar. The moment she hit my head, suffering from a concussion didn't matter… Knew right then and there that I would marry her someday," the man sighed so deeply before continuing, "She's going to marry another man next week though."

The last words were more of inaudible mutterings, but Takumi understood them nevertheless. For a moment, his mind again drifted to the one he loves so dearly, imagining Misaki in front of him.

Did she talk to someone about her reason for undergoing this like this man in front of him did?

 _"He abandoned me a year ago and never came back."_

His chest tightened again, almost hearing the auditory hallucination come to life.

* * *

It was five hours later when he was called.

"Usui Takumi-san, please follow me."

The receptionist from earlier motioned for him towards a narrow hallway leading to a white door with the words 'Dr. Hajime Kyouko' engraved on a silver plate attached to its surface.

She opened the door to reveal another pale woman (but a bit older this time) wearing a white coat sitting behind a wooden table. The former whispered something to the doctor's ear before taking her leave.

"So, Usui-san what brings you here?"

Takumi watched silently as Dr. Hajime Kyouko leaned forward slightly on the table and crossed her fingers in front of him, waiting patiently for a response.

He cleared his throat before attempting to speak, "I am not actually here for an appointment… for the procedure I mean."

Dr. Hajime looked at him, raising her right brow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He'll just go direct to the point, what is there to lose anyway? He already lost his everything when Misaki erased him from her life. "There's this girl… I believe she went under your Selective Memory Erasing Procedure?"

"And what exactly about it? If what you're asking for is what happened with hers, the procedure I mean, I can't tell you that. We have signed a contract with her, both parties agreeing to keep the process confidential."

Takumi sighed deeply, contemplating what to say next. He couldn't let his visit here go to waste.

"I understand...but can I request for something at least?"

Dr. Hajime leaned back and took a silent moment first before responding, "As long as it is within the bounds of the established contract, then yes, you can."

"About the procedure, in general what exactly happens? I can't quite comprehend how one can just erase someone from her memories...and the process must be so sensitive to not touch the person's other memories, am I right?"

"Well, _that_ I can give you information about. The scientific explanation behind it is complicated to explain, you see...so I will give it to you as simply as I can," Dr. Hajime motioned her hand to point to the top of Takumi's head, "The human brain consists of something called the limbic system wherein human emotions are mainly controlled. We use the concept of the process of inducing concussion in humans, only focusing on the aspect of having the memory altered without the danger of having the side-effects of concussion. "

Takumi nodded his head, understanding what is being told to him. There's no doubting in the alien level of intelligence he possesses anyway.

"Instead, we use specific levels of electric shock to the head to imitate the effect of 'bumping or hitting' the head as to what would usually happen in concussions. We would ask patients to rate the pain they feel which was induced by that certain entity to ensure the sensitivity of the process...it is subjective and requires an almost accurate answer from them. Ratings of 8 to 10 out of 10 are required for the process to happen… large area of the emotion of pain affecting the limbic system makes the process easier actually, which is manifested in those ratings. Shocks are induced to suppress the memory of pain associated with the entity, to the point of suppressing memories of the said entity altogether, including the happy ones that is."

Dr. Hajime's eyes seem to sparkle as she explains these things, despite the reality of her message.

"To add to that, we ask them to bring as much objects as possible that remind them of that entity to bring a surge of those memories forefront of the other ones."

So that was the purpose of the objects. He remembered seeing the instruction of the procedure from the card Ayuzawa Suzuna gave him, and those objects held by the people waiting outside hours ago.

"To put it more simply, shall I say, that person must have hurt really really bad by the said entity that they would want to have them erased from their memory so the procedure can be carried out."

Takumi could do nothing but wish he could have the pain he had given Misaki the past year.

She had trusted him. She never trusted men after she was abandoned by her father but she was able to trust him wholeheartedly.

He saw how she did. When she called his help to retrieve their picture which had fallen from the school's rooftop; when she called his name when she was about to be taken advantage of Igarashi Tora; when she became his girlfriend despite knowing the danger it entailed; when she said she wanted to be by his side and protect him during the one of the most chaotic moments in his life.

He was shocked beyond belief to the point of being helpless when the Walkers called for him and Misaki was there to support him. And he stupidly repaid her by leaving her like that.

He abandoned her, broke her trust, and drove her to this direction.

He despised himself all the more. It killed him to know just how much pain he had inflicted on her.

But in reality, it was worse than death itself.


	3. III

**A/N: I'm really enjoying reading your reactions in your reviews! Really, they just made my day and made me more excited for you guys to read of what is about to come. Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and follows! I very much appreciated it.  
**

 _To Minniemiss123: The questions you put out really had me thinking. I punished both of them too much and I'm not really sure if there will be more to come bwahaha thank you for the review love!_

 **Same disclaimer applies. Going to update as soon as I can but I'm sure the upcoming school works are gonna be hell, I could use some motivation...do leave some thoughts in your reviews! :)**

 **HAPPY READING!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

He stood in the hallway outside Dr. Hajime Kyouko's office for a while, void of emotions. He didn't think it was possible to feel like shit this much but he did.

Sensing another person's presence in the hallway, he brought his eyes up from looking down on the floor and found the receptionist from earlier staring at him, a bit wide-eyed...like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation between you and Dr. Hajime."

It didn't matter though...they only talked about trivial things anyway; he didn't reveal much about his relationship with Ayuzawa Misaki. He merely shrugged his head in response.

"Do you want to get her back?"

He looked at her and thought about it; he would be selfish if he said yes...and he would be lying to himself if he said no.

He stayed still, grounded to his spot, waiting for the girl to just get tired of talking to him and take her leave. Minutes passed and she didn't though.

"I believe everyone deserves a second chance," she uttered out again, with a sense of indignation this time, "I don't know if this will ever have an effect on anything but I still want to show you."

Takumi watched as she waited for his response, ready to turn her heel anytime he agrees. He nodded his head in the slightest manner, unsure of his decision. He still followed her nonetheless.

"I'm Akira by the way."

She led him back to the waiting area a while ago and opened a door he thought was just a storage closet a while ago. It turned out that it lead to the basement after they descended some steps.

He looked around and saw the rows of metal shelves that filled one half of the basement and the other half which consisted of white metallic drawers.

Akira led the way towards the metallic shelves; each one was labeled with letters and they walked to the furthest one in the room.

"Ayuzawa Misaki, am I right?" she peered back at him and he nodded. They entered the narrow aisle and it was then that he was able to get a closer look to what the shelves contained: boxes with names in Kanji writing pasted on them. The boxes differed in sizes and it sparked his curiosity as to why it was and what they contained.

"What's inside them?"

Akira turned her head towards his direction, getting out of the trance that kept her busy beforehand. "Objects that the patients brought."

Takumi nodded; he knew what those objects meant.

They stopped walking after a moment and he found Misaki's box; it was quite small compared to the others...about just the size of a shoebox. He reached out for the box easily due to his height and cradled the box in his arms.

 _Ayuzawa Misaki_

With the amount of patients that visited this clinic a while ago, he was sure that the total number who participated in the memory erasing procedure cannot possibly be accommodated with the size of the basement; there were only about 5 rows of shelves that contained boxes. He recalled seeing large boxes from other patients he waited with upstairs.

"We could only keep from those who underwent the procedure within the span of the year. Past that, we dispose of them as we saw no need to keep them anyway," Akira took notice of the box cradled in his arms, "I see you've found hers. Let's go to the tapes section."

She led him out of the shelves to the other half of the room. Just as it was with the shelves, the tall drawers were also labeled with letters. They didn't walk through the aisle this time; Akira opened the third drawer of the first shelf at the corner. Takumi peered from the side and was surprised to see rows of tapes neatly arranged inside. She picked out one in the middle of the batch and gave it to him.

He gripped the tape in his hand, seeing once again her name taped at the top but this time with a series of numbers that followed it.

"I see to it that you'd like to be alone for now?" Akira tipped her chin to a corner in the room, "There's a player for the tape there."

He nodded and muttered a word of thanks. He waited for the sound of the door closing before he moved towards the corner she pointed at earlier.

And truthful enough, there was an old cassette player sitting on a table. He laid down her box carefully before putting the tape inside the player. With trembling hands, he opened the brown box in front of him.

He felt something make its way up his throat as he looked at the objects inside. He picked out the necklace that he remembered she wore when he practically forced her to play the love trial game with him.

 _I want to see for myself if a relationship between us is really impossible._

He used it as an excuse to spend his time with her, and doing that while they played the game made it seem much more fun. If they failed the game, he would still pursue her anyway.

 _"It was the necklace I got from this love trial we went through in a school festival…"_ He suddenly heard her voice and for a moment expected to find her behind him as he spun around. He realized that it came from the cassette player.

 _"_ _He held my hand throughout the whole game because it was required, you see. And when it ended and he s-separated his hand from mine...i-it was the first time that I was genuinely scared to get separated from him and I...I just wanted to hold his hand again immediately after that."_

He sighed, hoping that the breath he let out can actually lessen the weight he's feeling right now.

He found the digital camera he bought her for her birthday. He wanted to keep it for himself back then, planning to have the pictures he had taken of her printed out and take them for safekeeping. But he decided that it was her present, and she was more important than anything to him.

 _"It was my birthday that time and that idiot kept taking pictures of me the whole day. H-he actually made me feel so i-important that day...I wouldn't ever tell him that but...I've f-fallen for him more since then."_

He felt his eyes welling up but controlled himself. He wanted to hear her voice more than wanting to revel deep in his agony.

Takumi then scrunched in his hand the muffler he gave her last Christmas and pressed it up to his nose, desperately inhaling her scent that he missed so much.

Memories of the time when they rode the Ferris Wheel, finally alone, filled his head and a deep sense of nostalgia pulled the strings of his heart.

 _"This was from Christmas...someone was following us but we managed to be alone in the Ferris Wheel. It was that same night that I...I decided that I w-wouldn't let him go no matter what...without letting him know about what I feel. I l-loved him and I told him that night… how I felt. I really thought we could stay together through what was happening that time…"_

He heard her chuckle, it sounded so painfully forced in his ears.

His knees finally gave up. He sunk to the floor and felt his jaw tensed as he controlled himself from being overcome with misery. He had cried some nights after finding out about Misaki..but he didn't deserve to rid himself of the grave weight of his sins by letting it out.

He deserved all of her pain.

He was a coward for running away and leaving her.

He deserved the world's misery… pain and despair, all of it.

Usui Takumi would willingly have it all, even for the rest of his lifetime. Maybe by then, he could at least be forgiven from hurting the woman he loved the most.

* * *

With a heavy heart, he stopped by Seika High the next morning, watching from afar; he knows that she would be standing in front of the school gates, waiting to unleash her wrath to students who did not follow the school's dress code.

She screamed.

She laughed deviously.

She got furious.

 _She was fine._

Ayuzawa Suzuna was right. He was a selfish person.

How could he get her back...without the assurance of not leaving her side again?

Takumi bit the inside of his cheeks and felt his jaw tightening. In great determination, he dug his fingernails inside his clenched fists, having decided in finality.

It was a decision in which the truth painfully dawned on him ever so slowly: being with her will just make matters worse.

He would not let himself hurt her again.

He would distance himself as far as he could and suffer in the pain that he shall endure for the rest of his life.

He would leave for England in three months' time and never show himself again to her.

He took his leave and headed for Miyabigaoka, finally accepting the reality of his relationship with Ayuzawa Misaki being long gone ever since the past year.

He wasn't expecting it though...when she showed up at the doorstep of his apartment again later when he got home.


	4. IV

**A/N: I've left you in a slump in the last chapter, right? BWAHAHA Vacation's over and I'm back to college now so updating weekly is all I can afford (at least?) right now :( But writing this fic has never been so satisfying because I have a lot in store for you guys! I'm loosely following the past events in the manga so not everything I cite here is canon.  
**

 **Thank you thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and follows! Special mention to Minniemiss123 for that really entertaining and wonderful review! I really really appreciate what you all have said about this fic!**

 **Same disclaimer applies. Happy reading!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

She unwillingly crouched down to the floor of the student council room in an attempt to ease the mind-numbing pain that engulfed her whole head, rendering her whole body immobile for a while. The others had left an hour ago, and she intentionally stayed behind to finish up the work for the day.

And while it was convenient to finish the tasks by herself, being left alone was not. It was at these times that she is most vulnerable to experiencing hallucinations.

It felt as if her head was breaking in half.

It was getting worse with each day that passed. At times, she would see flashes of images and she was not really sure whether they were real or not. In the middle of trivial things she routinely does everyday, she would hallucinate certain scenarios in front of her.

It confused her to the point of anger.

What the hell was happening?

Everything is the same.

Everything is the way it _should_ be.

She hated her mind for constantly playing tricks on her, dreaming of things that she couldn't remember happening from any moment of her life.

She reached for the yellow piece of paper from inside her bag and started reading, gripping it with trembling hands as if her life depended on it. "My name is Ayuzawa Misaki. I live with my mother, Ayuzawa Minako and my sister, Ayuzawa Suzuna. My father left us years ago with a debt. I am a third year in Seika High and the current president of the Student Council." She clutched the piece of paper with so much force it started tearing into half. It was the only one that was keeping her sanity in line lately.

Emerald eyes.

She kept on seeing them from time to time; it was the only constant thing that appeared in her dreams and hallucinations. And while those eyes set her thoughts into chaos, at the same time they could also impossibly calm her being.

And once again, they did appear before her...in the persona of a tall blonde man whose face remain blurred, except for those emerald eyes.

She shut her eyes tightly in an attempt to chase away what she was sure was a hallucination. She opened them once again and just then, white light purely occupied her vision.

 _"Misa-chan…"_

She bit the inside of her cheeks and closed her eyes again; the auditory hallucinations were starting. She cannot let this get the best of her. Slowly, Misaki opened her eyes again, hoping to the heavens above that it was already over. She watched as the same tall blonde guy moved towards her and offered a hand to her.

He was also wearing a Seika High uniform...same tan pants, white shirt and red necktie.

She looked at his hand for a moment before grabbing it. It surprised her when the being in front of her instantly vanished.

It confused her so much.

She heard a rustle in front of her and once again, he appeared in front of her. He took a seat on the wooden table she occupied earlier while dealing with her presidential tasks and leaned back a little. His lips were moving but she can't quite catch on to what he's saying. She suddenly sees another image of herself in front of her, this time sitting on the chair with her head resting on the surface of the table. His hand was holding hers as she seemed to fall into sleep.

 _"Sleep well, Ayuzawa."_

The images in front of her vanished after a second. She shut her eyes tightly and opened them again, in an attempt to bring back what she just saw.

It didn't.

She was alone once again in the student council room.

The head-splitting pain that consumed her just moments ago has disappeared.

However, it was replaced by something else.

She gripped her chest as she felt it tightening and the intense feeling of something she can't quite point out took its turn to reside inside her.

It oddly felt as if she had lost someone dear to her.

But as far as she can remember, she hadn't.

Why was she feeling this way?

It confused her to the point of frustration on her inability to understand what was happening to her.

* * *

She was in a dazed state when she went for her shift in Maid Latte.

Ayuzawa Misaki was not someone who does her job halfheartedly; but with the odd happenings with her, she found it difficult to keep up with her tasks. Everything felt as if it was just an endless cycle of her trying to focus on her work while she constantly looked at the empty table at the corner which seemed so out of place for her.

She emerged from the kitchen, carrying an order of omelette rice and three iced drinks.

"Enjoy your meal, goshujin-sama." She tried to be sincere in giving out her smile, and luckily enough her customers didn't see past her facade. The three idiots looked at her lovingly as they mutter their words of thanks, squirming in their chairs. She ignored them as she moved to another table to get the used dishes off of it.

The empty table at the corner seemed to have a magnetic effect on her as her head unconsciously turned to take a look at it again.

White light suddenly flashed in her vision. When it faded out, she once again saw the image of _him_ , this time occupying the table that never seemed to let go of her attention. His bright emerald eyes were the only ones that stayed clear in her hallucination and she saw him wink at her.

The sound of the plates breaking finally broke her out of her reverie. She shook her head to rid of her previous thoughts and found everybody looking at her. She looked down only to find out that she was the culprit of the sound.

Subaru rushed to her and immediately apologized to the customers for the disturbance the event caused, trying to throw in a reassuring laugh for them. She looked at Misaki with worrying eyes as she swept the broken pieces of glass and ceramic away.

"Are you okay, Misa-chan?" Maid Latte Manager, Hyoudo Satsuki, welcomed her back with a very concerned expression at the staff room when store hours ended. Satsuki held out a hand and touched Misaki's forehead, checking to see if she had a fever or some kind of illness that caused distraction in her youngest employee.

Misaki gently moved the manager's hand away from her forehead, giving it a light squeeze before reassuring her that she's fine.

"You can take your leave, Misa-chan, if you're feeling unwell. I'll manage from here… it's not like you to suddenly break the dishes like that. Is there something wrong?"

The raven-haired girl looked at her manager, contemplating if she should share a bit of her thoughts from earlier...maybe Satsuki-san had an idea to what was happening. She never had a problem like this before, and it could probably help if she depended on others a little this time.

"Satsuki-san…" The manager was all eyes on her, a bit surprised that Misaki has sought her help this time; it was a bit unusual actually. "It's nothing big, really… but is there something with that certain table at the corner which stays almost always empty?"

Satsuki watched as Misaki started fiddling with her thumbs. "I'm sorry for the ruckus I caused earlier… I just can't seem to focus because of that."

The older woman gulped down before heaving a deep sigh. As she looked at the younger girl in front of her, her mind drifted off to somewhere else… days ago when she received a letter delivered to her in the cafe.

Ayuzawa Misaki _had undergone a procedure in which she had erased the entity,_ Usui Takumi _, from her mind._

 _Please avoid at all costs mentioning_ Usui Takumi _to_ Ayuzawa Misaki _or any event that may have any relation to him._

She watched as Misaki waited for an answer, with clear confusion behind her eyes. With a heavy heart, Hyoudo Satsuki tried to push away the the worry etched with her eyes and gave out a bright smile to her.

"No, you must be imagining things Misa-chan. You should go home now."

Though she felt disappointment within her, she trusted in her manager more than she trusted her own sense of judgment of reality. She nodded her head and muttered a word of gratitude to the older woman before moving towards the lockers to change her clothes then head home.

* * *

She stopped by the convenience store on her way to their house. She just remembered that Suzuna had asked her to buy pencils for her the day before.

Thank goodness she remembered it.

Handing the amount to the cashier, she dropped the set of pencils in her bag and took her leave. Through the glass walls, she caught sight of a couple sharing a box of Pocky between them. She rolled her eyes at the display of affection, intending to not let herself get involved in their business.

 _"Pocky game."_

The ache in her head that consumed her earlier this day came back and she pushed through the door of the convenience store quickly before she crumbled under the pain.

It was dangerous to walk alone in the streets, let alone stay in the dark alleyways; she should really head home right now. But her sense of importance for her privacy and independence led her to move towards a dark and narrow alley before slumping her body down to the ground.

The pain pulsated within her again; starting from the center, the little shocks of pain radiated to both sides and eventually habituated her whole head. She dug her fingers deeper into her skull in an attempt to ease out the literally mind-numbing pain. The white flashes of light started again and emerald eyes revealed themselves soon after.

 _"You really hate losing, don't you?"_

Misaki waited for what seemed like an eternity before her headache passed. She blinked her eyes rapidly and was slightly relieved that her hallucinations stopped. She stayed slumped on the ground, moving to the brick wall to lean on it. She breathed in and out; she's able to think more clearly now.

Everyone was saying that she's fine.

Her colleagues at Maid Latte, her family, Sakura and Shizuko...they insisted that she was fine and that there was nothing to worry about.

Even she herself, insisted to herself that she was fine.

But damn it! She knows there's something wrong with her. When she woke up one day feeling all tingly and half-dead, she shrugged it off, thinking that her body had just given up after she beat herself up in the past months for her college entrance exams.

Yes, the post-it note on her bedside table was odd.

Yes, the way her friends and family acted all careful and guarded with her was odd.

But she pretended she didn't see through that.

However, the headaches, hallucinations and white flashes of light were things she cannot ignore; especially when they started after _he_ knocked on their door and bothered the shit out of her.

That pervert bastard...hugging her and acting all that.

"Come to think of it…" Misaki thought to herself, holding up her fingers as she counted the days back to when he appeared.

It was also around that time when her hallucinations started.

Her heart suddenly started beating fast and before she knew it, she started running towards the train station. She didn't know where her feet are taking her but at the same time she feels as if the path she is taking is all too familiar to her. Her feet moved rapidly even though her mind is currently a blank slate.

Before she knew it, she found herself in front of an apartment building, heading straight to the elevator and pressing the button to the uppermost floor. Her body started breaking into a cold sweat, adrenaline pumping in her veins as she feels the heat seeping throughout her entire body.

She found herself standing in front of an apartment unknown to her. She knocked on the door three times and did not even wait for a minute before she was faced with the emerald eyes she has been hallucinating all this time.

 _They were real._

She stood still at her spot, feet frozen to the ground. She opened her mouth and close it again, realizing that the adrenaline that spiked up her energy a while ago was long gone by now. She watched as the man stayed still in front of her too, gripping the doorknob so tightly she was worried it was going to crumple in his hands.

"Misaki."

* * *

 **Hmmm I bet you're eagerly wondering what will happen next? More reviews and I _might_ upload it the next day, we both don't know ;) I reaaaally love reading your thoughts and reactions in your reviews so yes, do leave one!**


	5. V

**A/N: This is the earliest possible update I can afford in reward BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING AWESOME! I was so happy about the reviews that you left for this fanfic guys, I was reaaaaaaaallly ecstatic about it! Thank you for also putting this little fic of mine in your favorites/ alerts list.**

 **All your words have greatly inspired me. I do hope that you keep on leaving reviews because I very much enjoy reading them and it gives me the push to continue! I look forward to reading them after a hectic day of work. I hope for your continued support for this fanfic :)**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _adriana ayuzawa, Padfoot Starfyre, Knight Lynx, Minniemiss123, asdfghjkl, anime addict and Samara16_

 **I kinda dream of surpassing that 30th review mark? How about a longer chapter next time as a present? haha**

 **This fic loosely follows the events of the manga. Happy reading!  
**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

He pulled her to his arms, gripping her wrist tightly with one hand while his other arm entrapped her waist to him. He dove for her lips, his expression of deep longing for her increasing a thousandfold. He slipped a hand on her nape, tightly gripping a handful of the smooth raven-haired he loved nuzzling into, and pulled her face closer to him. He swiped her lips with his tongue and she opened up so willingly as soon as they touched, a battle of dominance emerged throughout the fire that consumed their bodies.

He groaned out and pulled down his hand, resting it on the region of her waist exposed from her shirt riding up as they started exploring-

"I-I'm sorry to b-bother y-y-you." she looked down on the ground, face changing into a deep red color.

Takumi was speechless himself, too. First, of his hallucination compromising him into a heated state; he felt so hot he thought it was real. And second, because he promised himself that he would never see her again. He promised that he would not have anything to do with her anymore.

Nevertheless, he cannot deny the rush of emotions that surged within him; he wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her to the couch with him and kiss her again with all his might and hold her hand ever so tightly and spend the night with her… but he shouldn't. He tried so hard into not giving in to his desires; he tried to resist his selfishness.

"Is there something wrong?" he tried not to make the worry in his voice so evident as he watched her in front of him, catching her breath. "How did you get here?"

Misaki shook her head, dismissing all the questions he threw at her. She came for one thing only.

"Was there ever something between us before?"

Takumi held back as he felt his breath catch in his throat. His eyes widened as he watched her wait eagerly for his response. His confusion got the best of him, obviously portraying it when he opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again soonafter.

He heaved a deep breath. "Nothing special I can remember of."

It hurt him to say that. To deduce his relationship with the only girl he ever cared for into "nothing special"... something within him died a little. But when he saw Misaki's face shift into an expression to somewhat that of disappointment, a bit of hope lit inside his heart.

"Oh," Misaki muttered out, barely audible, and started playing with her fingers under Takumi's lingering gaze, "I guess I should leave now, shouldn't I?"

She chuckled so lamely, and he found it so similar to how she chuckled when he played out the tape of her memory erasing procedure. He clenched his fists, frustrated at himself for having caused it again.

"Have you had dinner already?"

He almost beat himself when he realized the words he said. He can't help it, looking at her like that.

Misaki was quite surprised herself. He just told her that they had nothing between them and there he goes offering her dinner? Just what kind of person is he?

She should reject his offer… considering he was a stranger to her. "I haven't." She turned to leave, but before she can even take a step further, Takumi grabbed her hand and pulled her closer.

"What the-"

He looked at her with so much longing, he almost begged her not to leave. "I insist. Please… just stay for a little while."

Misaki gulped as she found herself following his whims and allowed herself to be pulled by him. He closed the door when she was inside and silently moved to his kitchen.

"You can sit there." He pointed to the stools pushed under the kitchen island.

She moved unsurely towards the stools and took a seat for herself. It was so unlike her to do this. It was so unlike her to just follow someone into his apartment and accept his offer for dinner.

In awe, she watched his back turned to her as he moved rapidly with such precision in the kitchen. He worked skilfully as if he was a professional chef. Soon, her senses were filled with different kinds of aroma that made her not regret accepting his offer.

He seemed inhuman to her, the way he moved in his kitchen. Like an alien, perhaps?

"Are you an alien?" she blurted out.

Takumi looked back at her dumbfoundedly before breaking into fits of laughter. It was the first time he heard her nickname for him in ages. He missed it so; he couldn't believe he'd hear her say that again.

Misaki turned deep red in embarrassment, all the while growing annoyed that he found it so humorous when she asked such a simple (though she must admit: dumb) question. She slammed her fist on the granite countertop and stood up quite forcefully, causing the chair to topple down behind her.

"I'm leaving!" She picked up her bag and stomped her way to the door.

Takumi laughingly followed her and blocked the door with his body. "Just stay for a while. It would be a waste to throw away the food I already prepared."

He looked at her red face and smiled. He really missed her.

 _Just this night._

 _I just want to see her for one last night._

Misaki sighed dejectedly, hating that he was right. She turned away from him and went back to sit herself on the kitchen again. She watched as he moved back too, settling himself again in front of the stove. He poured the whisked eggs onto the pan and a sizzle was heard.

"Why did you come to our house that time?"

Takumi was caught off-guard, he halted his actions for a moment. He breathed out deeply. With his back still turned to her, he lied through his teeth. "You were right. I'd mistaken you for someone else."

He heard her muttered an 'oh' before silence consumed the both of them again. He set out two plates and placed the food he cooked carefully on both. He picked them up and placed one in front of Misaki, the other one in front of him. He handed her a set of utensils and watched her (quite amusingly) squirm under his gaze.

She looked at the plate of omelette rice set in front of her, surprisingly, with fondness. She muttered an 'itadakimasu' before digging her spoon in, dissecting the omurice before placing a spoonful in her mouth.

He watched her eyes widen and he threw her a smirk. "Feeling thankful that you didn't leave?"

She sat there, speechless. It was a given that the food was delicious, just from watching him cook; but it wasn't that which caused her silence. The taste was too familiar to her.

She gripped the spoon tightly as she felt the headache coming back again; she tried to suppress herself of the hallucinations that she was sure were about to come, afraid that she would crumble down to the floor from the pain with him in front of her. She doesn't want him to see that; she doesn't want him to see her in such a vulnerable state.

She shut her eyes tightly, trying so desperately to appear normal for him while waiting for the pain to pass. It did...and when she opened her eyes again she found him in front of her, both arms holding her shoulders, his face contorted into an expression of deep worry.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Misaki looked at him blankly, staring straight into his emerald eyes with her amber ones. Resisting from cradling his face with her hand, she just settled in watching him, her mind wondering as to why she felt this way.

She tried so hard in turning her gaze away, head looking down to avoid his intense eyes which held so much emotions.

Takumi, sensing what seemed to be her discomfort, pulled his arms away after making sure that she was fine already. With a slight nod from her, he made his way back across her and sat down on his chair.

He sighed dejectedly. She was right in front of him, but he knows he can't touch her like he used to.

"What kind of person was she?"

Takumi had his spoonful of rice suspended in mid-air, almost dropping it if his reflexes weren't fast. She kept on dropping bombs here and there, it was difficult enough for him to keep on lying to his love, much less dodging her dreaded questions.

She was looking at him with questioning eyes, confusion very much evident behind them. He almost scoffed but quickly masked it with a cough.

"She was a very violent and aggressive person." He laughed fondly, remembering the times he endured from getting beat up by her whenever she got angry and flustered. "She never liked losing, that's for sure."

He took another spoonful of omurice and ate quietly, lost in his memories of Misaki.

She watched him eat silently, feeling a little shameless from having asked such a personal question to him when she didn't have any right to. She just nodded in response and proceeded to finishing her food, burying herself deep into the nostalgic taste it gave her.

It tasted like the omurice Maid Latte had in its menu… but this one tasted better. Not in the physical sense at least, she can't quite point out what it is so she just settled herself with this. It wasn't really important anyway(?).

She peered back at him and found him lost in his own world. He hadn't finished his own meal yet, his spacing out seemed to have taken out his time from eating. She bit back her tongue, trying not to give in to her inquisitiveness… it was useless, though.

"Were you able to find her?"

She was surprised when he responded almost immediately, without looking at her. "Yeah… it was a lost cause, though. I realized I was desperately trying to bring back something that was long gone."

She merely nodded soonafter, not really knowing what to say in response.

They finished their meals, ending with her thanking him. She grabbed her bag from the floor and he led her way to the door.

"I guess this is goodbye?" She offered him a hand at his doorstep.

Takumi looked at her hand for a moment before shaking it; he didn't really want to say goodbye.

He watched her make her way to the elevator. Making sure that he wouldn't be seen, he followed her down and all the way to her home, seeing to it that she got home safely. He watched her in silent agony as she closed their black and broken-down gates (which he recalled as looking the same as before he had left) behind her. He waited for the lights within the house to shift into darkness.

"Goodbye, Misaki."

This will be the last time he would see her.

Usui Takumi turned on his heel and headed back to his apartment. That night, he slept with the lights on, wearing the muffler she gave him last Christmas, imagining his head on her lap with her arms cradling him… for it was the only time that he ever felt home.

And now, his home was gone.


	6. VI

**A/N: I was so happy to check back and have that 30th review! You guys are the best! Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows! As promised, here's a longer chapter for you! (yes, I checked it's longer haha)** **I already finished the next chapter but it's in the draft stages. Do leave some thoughts in your reviews and I'll work on it as soon as possible so I can post it!**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _Seirra1567, Samara16, Takumisa17, amyjane1200, Minniemiss123, Padfoot Starfyre_

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

It was back to how it was.

"Kaichou, the yearbook committee submitted a letter of approval to us for the venue of the graduation photoshoot before they forward it to the school admin."

Yukimura Shouichirou, the current Vice President of the Seika High Student Council (and Misaki's ever loyal right-hand man), handed her a piece of paper and she grabbed it from him to read its contents.

"Why are they taking everything at the last minute? It's just two months before our graduation! Aren't these too late?" she lashed out at Yukimura; he almost cowered back in the corner but he tried to stand his ground… barely.

"It really wasn't in our control since it was the yearbook committee in charge of these things. Although, they could use a reminder from time to time, kaichou…"

Misaki slammed her fist on her table, causing the other members of the council to jump in surprise (and partly in fear). She had never been this busy; it was just two months away from graduation. With the final examinations coming, Seika High's student council was pushed to take what little time they have to accomplish the tasks needed for the upcoming graduation ceremony - as they were personally asked by the faculty and school administration for help. Their hands were full, and taking on the additional responsibility of reminding the yearbook committee regarding their deadlines was out of bounds (and to be honest, quite impossible).

"Are they little kids that need to be reminded of what to do? Do they not have their own calendar to keep in track of their deadlines? Those fucking idiots."

Yukimura chuckled nervously, scratching his temple as he watched their president seemingly transform into a devil engulfed in flames. He watched as she stomped her way out of the room, feet leaving cracked footprints on the floor; the other council members swore they almost felt the ground shaking.

Misaki slammed the door of the photography club (where she was sure the yearbook committee resided at the moment) room open, laughing evilly - a sign of the impending doom she was about to cast.

"What the hell were you doing?! Lazing your asses off these past few months, huh?"

She found a group of people cowering at the corner of the room before her vision was blocked.

"Misaki!" A pink-haired girl rushed to Misaki and engulfed her into her arms.

"Sakura?" Misaki moved her friend slightly away from her face and was quite shocked to see another familiar face too. "Shizuko? You're here too? Are you both part of the yearbook committee?"

Hanazono Sakura and Kaga Shizuko stood in front of the raven-haired girl, the former starting to fiddle with her fingers. "Well, the yearbook committee needed extra hands so they can achieve their deadlines… so I thought maybe we could go help. Besides, it looks fun! I grabbed Shizuko with me." Sakura pointed a finger to the short-haired girl, who practically stood seething beside her, a stark contrast to the smiling Sakura.

"I can't believe I doubled the amount of work I have to do before I graduate." Shizuko panned out a hand on her face frustratingly.

Misaki could do nothing but put out a smile to her friends.

A month.

It has been a month since she closed that door. When she said goodbye to him, for some reason she also bade farewell to her self-proclaimed mission to look for the owner of the emerald eyes that continued to haunt her. She can continue to lie to herself; yes, he told her that they had nothing to do with each other but she can't deny the fact that she felt hurt and disappointed when he had said that. She has been feeling empty since then, and it was something that she found difficult to grasp.

She still found it strange as to how she got herself to his apartment. But if he said that they had nothing special, she was going to take it.

The head-splitting pains which caused a grave disturbance in her life have lessened to a degree; she would still have it from time to time, and she found it odd that they were caused by the most minimal of objects that she can see around her.

One time, it was a jump rope.

The other was when she was eating ramen with Sakura and Shizuko.

The strangest of them all was when she watched the fireworks on New Year's Eve. It was something she enjoyed watching ever since she was a child but somehow, even with her friends, she felt as if someone else should be beside her…as if someone was missing.

"Misaki?"

The demon president snapped out of her thoughts and found the two looking at her questioningly.

Sakura grabbed her hand. "Are you alright? You've been busying yourself too much these days…"

She _tried_ to be alright…hence, the amount of work she took upon herself. She shouldn't give herself that much free time on her hands because she knows her mind will drift off to somewhere again...to the tall blonde boy that waved her off a month ago. She couldn't even count the number of attempts to come to his apartment again.

Somehow, the familiarity to the path became an engraved memory to her.

Ayuzawa Misaki tried to give out a laugh… but stopped when she failed, miserably. She waved a hand at her friends.

"It's nothing."

* * *

"Suzuna?"

Misaki peered from the doorway of her sister's bedroom but found no one. She took an unsure step further inside and held her breath; her sister was someone who deeply values her privacy. Although she has never seen Suzuna lashed out (she never wished to), she's afraid of how ugly it may look like.

But she urgently needs a notebook right now to start on her homework… and she remembered Suzuna mentioning that she had won a stationary set and encouraged Misaki to get her share from it; she didn't need it back then, but she wished she could have gotten it before so she wouldn't be faced with this dilemma.

Her sister seemed to be out right now and she saw that she left a note by the wall that she will be back by 6:00, way too late for her if she wants to finish her tasks. Buying a notebook was out of the question too; why waste money when she can get it for free?

"Sorry, Suzuna. I'll just get the notebook and leave…" she told no one in particular, just one of those times where she wished she could communicate to her sister telepathically.

She remembered Suzuna keeping it in a box in her closet so she went towards the door at the side of the room, opened it and found two boxes stacked on top of each other.

"I wonder which one it is…" She moved to get the one on top first. When she opened it, she found none that resemble what she needed...though there was one envelope left open placed carelessly on top that caught her attention.

"Hajime Clinic?" Misaki wondered about Suzuna's current condition that made her want to go to a clinic. They can't afford it, that's for sure so she didn't understand how her sister got money to pay for it, or the fact that she wasn't informed about any of this. In a state of confusion, she reread the small header typewritten at the upper-left corner of the envelope.

 _HAJIME CLINIC_

 _Tokyo, Japan_

 _January 4_

She knows she should ask Suzuna about it, but it will only reveal her snooping around her sister's room. Maybe it contained some results to a laboratory test she had undergone? Nothing was inside, though; it was just an empty opened envelope. Misaki decided that she would just wait for her sister to tell her about it.

She placed the lid on top of the box again and went to look inside the second box at the bottom. She found what she was looking for. However, with this, she also realized that her sister hadn't really shared her problems and confided with her for something; she felt guilty for it… maybe she hadn't been there for her sister as much as she wanted to be, considering that she was busy earning income for her family to survive.

She had no shift in Maid Latte today, and she was going to try harder to be there for her sister… and maybe eventually get an indirect answer from her regarding this clinic.

* * *

"I'm home!"

Misaki took a peek from upstairs and found her sister by the door, removing her shoes and changing into her slippers. She carefully descended the stairs, though she wasn't sure why (maybe it was the nerves getting to her after entering her sister's room without permission).

"Okaeri, Suzuna." She patted her sister's head and felt her heart warm up as her sister responded with a smile. She had no work today, and she can finish up the little homework that was left for her to do later on; she had the time to spend with her sister. "Let's eat out!"

Suzuna blinked her eyes at her sister, a bit astounded to be hearing this. It was the first time her onee-chan asked her out for dinner.

Misaki scratched the back of her head sheepishly. "I'm thinking about spending time with you. We rarely have the time to be together, you know… And I can't really cook for us so I'll treat you to dinner!"

Suzuna smiled at her sister.

 _I'm glad you're fine now._

"Sounds good, onee-chan."

On the contrary to her facade, a tumultuous storm of different thoughts clouded Misaki's mind as she thought about Hajime Clinic; the name rang in her mind repeatedly… as the reason for that, she's not quite sure.

* * *

It has been a long time since their family had visited their favorite family restaurant. Though their mother isn't with them as of the moment, both sisters were still glad to be spending time with each other in a place that reminded them of their younger days.

"Wow, I definitely missed this…" Misaki stated in childlike awe as she entered the place. They were greeted by a staff member who led them to a booth by the glass walls before handing them a menu.

Despite not going here for years, the scene felt oddly familiar to her and once again, the head-splitting pain came back to haunt her. She stood up in a rush and hurried to the bathroom, trying to ignore the worried look her sister gave her; she couldn't let her see what was happening with her. She was just going to come up with some lame excuse later on.

She didn't waste any second in barging into the ladies' room as she went straight to a cubicle. Unintentionally slamming the door behind her, she threw her body with force against the the wall as her fingers dug up against her skull, desperately trying to ease up the pain that's worsening by the second. She gritted her teeth as she felt the headache engulf the entirety of her head.

Flashes of blonde hair and emerald eyes clouded her thoughts once again and she tried to push them aside as much as possible; she learned in the weeks that passed that lingering to them would only prolong the mind-numbing pain that she was feeling.

She stood still against the door for a moment, her heavy breathing the only one that seemed to sound in the comfort room. She wondered how much time has passed as she opened the door once again, sighing in relief when she found no one with her in the room.

She slipped back into the booth sheepishly as she felt Suzuna look at her with piercing eyes - something that has not grazed her sister's usual emotionless face.

"Onee-chan…" That was the only word that Suzuna can mutter as she looked at Misaki's frazzled expression. She was afraid to ask about what had happened because her sister might only give her an answer that can lead to something she is not prepared to hear about.

Luck was not on her side this time though.

"Suzuna, remember that strange guy I told you who knocked on our door more than a month ago?"

Suzuna tried not to make the shock her sister's statement caused her as evident as possible. Looking across her, she was quite sure her sister was testing the boundaries of her question.

"Why?"

Misaki trusted that her sister wouldn't ever lie to her. Although Suzuna is naturally reserved, she has the tendency to open up to her when she would ask her about something. Their relationship has been like that, ever since; their family's financial crisis pushed them closer than ever but when Misaki became too busy, she _had_ felt the small distance that it created between their bond.

Her sister would never lie. She'd give her the truth if she asked for it.

"I met him again… I-i mean I didn't understand it but it's not a coincidence b-but rather I _went_ to him…kind of…unknowingly."

What is up with her and this stuttering whenever that boy is involved?

Misaki eagerly waited for her sister's answer. Was she finally going to get a glimpse of the unknown truth now? She wasn't exactly sure about the kind of truth she was looking for but she knew there was something odd…as if there's something missing and she was looking for at least a bit of enlightenment about it.

And to add to that, the more critical problem here is she doesn't even know what is unknown to her.

"Onee-chan, weren't you the one who told me to not talk to strangers? Why did you go to him?" Suzuna stated in her usual stone-cold face and it hurt her when she watched her older sister's response. The latter seemed to gape at her and close her mouth after a while before lowering her head.

Misaki sighed in defeat. Maybe she should just accept it as it is. Maybe what she doesn't know isn't really something to think about. Maybe it wasn't that important.

Suzuna would never lie to her.

And Misaki trusted in that.

Misaki shook off her thoughts and gave out a grin to her sister. "I was about to take a release a while ago so I dashed into the ladies' room," she tried to lie some more, "Sorry about that Suzuna."

Suzuna smiled at her sister, her face not giving out any sign of the underlying anxiety that she was feeling right now.

She hadn't mentioned anything about Usui Takumi. So why was her sister suddenly running back to the man that had hurt her before?

 _Maybe it was really because of that time._ Suzuna recalled her sister's first question.

How long was she going to have to lie? Was her sister's effort to forget him up until now ended in vain?

The two sisters spent the time with each other with an uneasy tension between them. But both tried hard to push past that; they didn't see through it and maybe they had that to thank each other.

They were after all, family; they were prepared to sacrifice things in order to protect each other.

* * *

Sometimes, she believed the teachers trusted her…too much. It came to the point wherein they gave her access to the school records - which was strictly confidential from the student body.

She didn't know whether she should be flattered about it or annoyed that the batch adviser was being too lazy for his own good, giving her what should clearly be _his_ job.

"Ayuzawa-san, can you retrieve the student records of your batch from this room? I'll be signing each of them and you already know how tiring it is for my hand, right?" She remembered what their adviser said, even scratching his head sheepishly acting as if he had shame for himself.

Misaki almost rolled her eyes in front of him, if not for the slight fear that he might not sign her clearance because of this. His laziness annoyed her, but she was just going to leave it at that.

And now, she's in the Records Office, alone. She told the other council members to go home before her, this was her own battle to fight after all; their adviser was the one who personally asked _her_. Though she wished she could use a hand…

She heaved out a deep sigh before she sat herself in front of the tall gray metallic drawer at the corner of the room. No one was left in the office - their adviser was the one who accompanied her there, pointed out the container for the batch records and left her with a farewell note that he would be waiting in the faculty room.

She was happy thinking about how the female population of Seika High increased by about 40% as compared to the start of her term as Student Council President back in her sophomore year. She started scanning through the files in the lower drawer and grew confused as the student records filed there weren't currently enrolled in this year.

"Ah…these were the ones who transferred to other schools," she muttered to herself as she flipped open some files. She recognized one guy from his picture clipped with his record as someone who belonged to her batch but eventually moved away and transferred to another school (he used to be her classmate back then).

She continued scanning through (she knows she's snooping around but her curiosity is sparked and there really is no stopping when Ayuzawa Misaki had to find out about something), and found a folder misaligned with the others - it seemed to have been inserted carelessly into another folder which explained why it was placed higher than the others. She pulled it out and was about to put it back again… if not for the name written with marker at the side of the folder which caught her attention.

 _Usui Takumi_

Feeling her senses disappearing from functionality, her fingers involuntarily loosened their grip on the object. It dropped to the floor, its contents spilling out of the folder. A picture laid on top of the mess.

Blonde hair, emerald eyes, male Seika High uniform - white shirt, red necktie and tan pants.

She felt her fingers tremble as they tried to cover her mouth left agape in shock.

" _Sleep well, Ayuzawa."_

She remembered it. She remembered her hallucination from back then.

It really _was_ him.

That tall blonde man.

She went to his apartment.

He told her there was nothing between them. But what else could explain her hallucination, where he held her hand and looked at her so tenderly while she was sleeping?

He told her he didn't know her. She looked at the date of his transferal and found that it was a year ago - it was her first term as the student council president. She must have met him; he must have _known_ her.

He told her he had mistaken her for another person.

" _I'm sorry, Misaki."_

She clearly heard him call her name when he placed her hands on his lips, whispering desperate apologies into them.

Why would he lie to her?

And most importantly, why can't she remember anything about him?

She shoved the contents back into the folder with trembling hands. She inserted it back into its slot beforehand, its position not really different from its careless placement before. She worked in a blank state of mind, shoving the graduating students' records into a box quite carelessly. She pulled the box behind her towards the faculty room and informed their adviser that she would be going home.

She wasn't really aware of what's happening around her; her vision seemed to be spinning around, her mind bombarded with the questions of why and how.

Why can't she remember?

How could she forget?

She decided that she would go straight to her house; she needs to lie down on her bed before anything else happens to her. She tried to push away the thoughts of Usui Takumi, in a desperate attempt to give herself some peace.

Peace wasn't something she attained though. Because the subject of the mess that was her thoughts was standing right in front of her house, donned in Miyabigaoka High's uniform.


	7. VII

**A/N: I initially planned to divide this into two chapters but decided against it because my workload just got heavier and it will take a longer time before I can update again :( I deeply thank those who reviewed and put me and this story in their favorites and alerts list. Really, it's an honor!**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _Padfoot Starfyre, Minniemiss123 (i love you to bits huhu), ArrowBee, Takumisa17, Samara16_

 **Just another note that this fanfic is loosely** **based on the manga.**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

Usui Takumi never intended for any of this to happen. He just wanted to see her so much...he longed for her presence; just having caught sight even just a bit of her, it would be more than enough for him.

He had set out to her house with the memory of her everyday schedule engraved in his mind from all those months of stalking her before they have come upon this. Before they officially dated, he already knew what days and time her shifts in Maid Latte were, what time she would usually come home after classes, what days she would usually spend the hours till late at night in school while doing her duties as president…he knew everything about her.

That's why he was sure she would long be inside her house by this time, so he had the confidence in him to come here without getting caught by any of the Ayuzawa's. He had longed so much to see her since this past month...ever since she bid him goodbye at his doorstep; hell, even just her shadow from the curtains of her room would be more than enough to satiate his desire for her presence.

But it came as a shock to him to find her outside, looking still as beautiful as ever in her Seika uniform. He stood at his spot, unmoving. He saw her clench her fists at her sides. Both of them had just been standing in front of each other, just a few meters in between them.

He looked at her with controlled intensity behind his emerald eyes.

"Why did you have to lie to me?" Her eyes welled up but she was clenching her jaw too much, just to stop her tears from falling. Takumi controlled himself from reaching for her and trapping her in his arms.

"You said you'd mistaken me for someone else. But you knew my name…" Misaki took a step closer to him. "You called me Misaki."

Her heart was about to burst out from her chest, she didn't think she could take its loud and fast beating anymore. Her mind only consisted of incoherent thoughts as of the moment, but she was sure only of one thing. This man had something to do with her; she was sure there was something missing and the gaps in her memory only served as affirmation of this inkling.

Takumi stood frozen at his spot, looking only at her. He only waited for her to come closer and she did. Misaki put up her arms and clenched his shirt in her fists. "Tell me the truth...please."

He couldn't say anything; he didn't know what to say. His state of mind grew blank, one of the rare times for him since all his life, it was always bombarded with thoughts, with observations, with doubts...with loneliness. Being with Misaki though, it was always like that for him - she cleared his mind of thoughts that would make him shut himself from the world; she would always do the most unexpected of things and it would just leave him speechless, completely defeated by this woman who stared at him right now with eyes full of mad desperation. Too much of his time spent with her had his mind been stripped hollow, his heart forced to surrender to this girl.

He felt her hands tremble, despite its tight grasp on the white jacket of his uniform. He waited in vain; it was always the calm before the storm. He looked down at the raven-haired, her head lowered as he was sure she was trying hard not to let him see her tears.

"I tried to deny it, that it's not that important. But I know- I know that I've forgotten an important part of my life! There's something missing and I've felt this absence so painfully even while doing the most mindless of tasks - eating ramen, pocky, jump ropes, empty tables, fireworks! I hate that everytime I ask, everyone would just dismiss it as if it was nothing but I know that it's NOT nothing! What I hate more is that I don't know what I don't know! I keep having these hallucinations and I hate it the most that I've forgotten about something that I know I can't live without. It's not the same! I lied to myself but it's really not the same as before!"

She started pounding her fists against his hard chest but Takumi wasn't even moved a bit from his spot. He clenched his jaw as he slipped into a state of numbness as the girl he loved continued her ministrations against him. He felt like dying because he cannot take this sight anymore.

"Fuck this."

He pulled her head back with much more force than he intended to, but the tremble of his fingers just made it impossible for him to control his actions any longer. He swooped down and crashed his lips against hers, having her taste that he had longed for so much for a long time. His hands have lowered themselves and settled on her waist, pulling her closely until they can both feel all the nooks and crannies of the surfaces of their bodies. It reminded him of those times when she was still his, those times they spent at his apartment just touching each other without boundaries, just reveling in the feeling of each other's warmth as they push themselves against each other, drowning in their love.

He felt her fingers entangle in his hair and it just hit home for him - when she's in his arms. Their lips never left each other as they both tangled continuously, seemingly never getting enough. He pulled them both towards her house, kicking the gates with his foot and ascending the steps to the door. He broke away in a mad rush, turning the doorknob as fast as possible before he pulled Misaki with him inside the dark area. Without flipping the lights on, he pushed her to the wall and buried his tongue into her wet cavern once again, the mere seconds of leaving it enough to drive him mad. He parted her legs with his knee as his hands moved to open her green jacket. He threw it to the side, leaving her lips for a moment to let her breathe. He cupped her cheek with his hand, finding her amber eyes using the fading light that entered the translucent glass windows on their door. His other hand started unbuttoning her white blouse, slowly as he took this moment to just revel in this sight of her all flushed and panting.

"Usui," she placed her hand on top of his hand that was unbuttoning her blouse, "tell me the truth, first."

It was enough to snap him back into reality. The reality wherein there was no longer him _and_ her. The reality where they existed as separate beings.

"You want to know the truth?" the tone of his voice danced dangerously on a cliff's edge, "Yes, you've forgotten about me, Ayuzawa. I've caused you so much pain and it drove me insane to see you like that."

Misaki looked at him, feeling her tears falling from her eyes once again. She forgot about him. Why did she forget about him?

"I don't want to hurt you ever again. It's my fault this time but please…let's not see each other anymore."

Without any warning, he left her there in the dark. Misaki could only watch his retreating form before he closed the door behind him. The sight of him leaving her pained her; the mind-numbing pain once again threatened to crush her head. She slumped down on the ground, lying there and slightly thanking that her head was hurting more than her heart.

The white flashes began. His chest was bare. They were in a linen room.

 _"When I become a third year, I am transferring to Miyabigaoka."_

This time his face was clear.

It _was_ Usui Takumi.

The image was bright before her eyes. The hallucinations stopped. She found herself back in a reality wherein she was in a darkness where he had left her alone.

* * *

She pushed herself to move past the stairs and into her room, throwing her body onto her bed. She just wants to shut herself away from the world for now.

The feeling of having forgotten someone important left a gnawing feeling within her, a weird kind of hysteria that taunts her continuously.

What more doesn't she know?

Just how much memory of Usui Takumi had she lost?

She felt her dire need for him when their bodies touched, the mere feeling of his lips on hers enough to set a fire within that continuously burned with passion as she felt his hands on her body, lighting every nerve it touched on her skin. It was as if she has awoken from a sleep that has kept her lulled all this time. She wasn't able to control herself when that moment came; her mind just went blank and focused on his ministrations on her.

Truthfully, there was this unknown source of longing within her for him to have her (something she didn't quite understood), her need for him that has seemingly dulled became increasingly insatiate with his kisses. Her whole being screamed for it, but she knows, she needs to remember first. She needs to retrieve her memories of him.

Her hands automatically reached for the yellow post-it note she kept in her drawer, having returned it to its original place after the head-splitting pains toned down minimally to a degree. She looked at the words written on the paper.

These were basic and very much well-known facts to her. Why was there a need to do this to start with?

Her suspicions of everything around her started piling up again as she tried to remember the approximate date she found this paper on her bedside table.

She remembered it as that day when she woke up, feeling all tingly and half-dead. And then, Usui Takumi came knocking at their door - around that time was when the headaches started. He confirmed the absence that she has knowingly felt to the fact that she has forgotten him. But how was she able to?

Maybe it could have the answer as to how she can be able to retrieve her lost memories of him.

Her storm of thoughts came to a halt as something clicked in her mind.

 _January 4_

Still, no one was in the house now; but the remnants of their heated moment of passion a few hours ago still hung in the gloomy atmosphere of their house. In the darkness, she pushed her way to Suzuna's room and retrieved the envelope from her closet.

There it was. The date was stamped at the upper corner of the envelope together with it.

 _Hajime Clinic_

 _Tokyo, Japan_

 _January 4_

The image of his retreating back once again flashed in her mind. And right then, she knew she wouldn't want to feel that kind of pain again; it was too much for her to bear.

She's not going to let it happen again.

* * *

 _"He held my hand throughout the whole game because it was required, you see. And when it ended and he s-separated his hand from mine...i-it was the first time that I was genuinely scared to get separated from him and I...I just wanted to hold his hand again immediately after that."_

Takumi inhaled deeply, taking in her scent from his muffler. He stayed still, lying on his couch in the darkness of his apartment, his only source of light from the city lights outside which shone so bright - a stark contrast to his world...it was a cruel reminder for him.

Misaki's voice played in the background. He had bought a cassette player the other week just to be able to play out the tape of her session; just to be able to remind himself of what he had done to her that year when he disappeared from her life. He was clutching both the camera and necklace in one hand. He needed to remind himself that things were not the same as he had left them a year ago. He needed to push away the thoughts of getting Ayuzawa Misaki back and living out his selfish life again.

Why did he have to live this life?

Why can't he just have the girl he loved and not think about the consequences it awaits?

Why did his family have to reappear in his life and destroy all the chances of him finding his own happiness?

His apartment, quite similar to his life right now, was a mess. He had Misaki's pictures (the ones he had printed out from the camera) laid out all over his coffee table. The box, which formerly contained the objects Misaki brought for the procedure, was thrown somewhere in a corner, in his sudden fit of rage and frustration when he had come back from her house earlier. The newly-bought cassette player sat awkwardly on his kitchen countertop, its obvious demise in its position evident from the mindless actions he did a while ago in mad desperation in looking for something to quiet his fury.

 _"I l-loved him and I told him that night… how I felt. I really thought we could stay together through what was happening that time…"_

He had calmed down when he was able to hear her voice, despite the reality of her words in the sound recording. He never understood how his body and mind functioned around her. When she smiles, his heart unconsciously flutters; when she got mad at him, he feels the rush of adrenaline within him; when she got tired, he just wanted to pull her to his arms and take care of her.

She was saying all the time that she was always beaten by him, that he was easily better than her. She was wrong though... it was him who had lost. It was him who had completely surrendered to her. It was not just her fierce beauty, nor the fire that lighted within her, nor her beautiful soul...it was all of her being. He had completely surrendered himself defenseless; she had crushed down the walls he built around himself from the world without her even knowing it.

He was engulfed in the silence of his agony for a few moments before a loud series of knocks echoed through the darkness of his apartment. He initially ignored it but the persistence of the sound soon irritated him that he got up and stomped his way to the door.

He pulled open the door as harshly as he could and it was then that he had stopped breathing. His heart drummed loudly against his chest.

"I thought I said we shouldn't see each other anymore?" The coldness in his voice cut through the tense air between them. It came as a surprise to him even, he wanted to bite his tongue back the moment it dawned on him. But he berated himself that if this was the only way to effectively cut ties with her to prevent further damage, he would force himself through it.

It hurt him when pain momentarily flashed across Misaki's eyes but she groaned and her amber eyes seemed to light up in fire as she clenched her fists at her side.

She hated that he was the one making decisions for the both of them. Was he also like that before? It drove her mad...furious that he was going on like that.

"I don't need your fucking sincerity nor your sympathy! Make me remember you again! For all I care! I'll decide for myself if I'll forget about you then and I'll be the one to decide whether I should see you again or not!"

Takumi ran his hand through his hair in frustration; she was being stubborn again.

"Leave."

It was there again. Misaki could see it in his eyes; he was always like that when they were together. His jaw was clenched tightly, emerald eyes deep set into an expression of controlled intensity. He was suppressing himself again.

She took a step towards him, grabbing his shirt with a tight grasp and pulled him closer to her. She looked up at him, golden eyes boring a hole into his soul.

"You don't need to suppress yourself anymore."

In a short moment of shock, the world seemed to go into reverse...everything seemed to turn the other way around. He put his arms around her and engulfed her petite body to his, clutching to her as if she's his lifeline. She had taken in a sharp gasp. He pulled back and planted a kiss on her forehead, he just wants her and nothing more. She's the only one he needs in order to live in this world.

"I'm sorry, Misaki." He repeated it so many times, the words he uttered out just never seemed enough to make up for the pain that he had caused her. "I'm sorry for leaving you."

He buried his face into her hair, engulfing her scent that he kept on searching for during those nights when he was alone, when he increasingly felt the pain of her absence in his life each night he fell asleep alone and would wake up the next day still the same. He has successfully kept it all in until now. He gave out to the urge of his feelings, sobbing with his face hidden from her, until now he refused to let her see his agony because he didn't deserve it.

Misaki pulled out from his arms first and lead them both into the darkness of his apartment, moving towards the couch in his living room. She sat them both down; she was the one with the lost memories, but he was the one who seemed so lost right now. She reached up for his face and run her thumb across his cheek, the trace of his tears still evident.

"Let's fix this." They both needed some healing, she can see it in their current position. He seemed so broken in front of her and it caused a tightening in her chest to see him like this. "God, I must have loved you so much to feel like this."

She watched him make out a small grin in the dark.

"I don't think I'd take it if I lose you again."Takumi looked at her ever so tenderly, fondly remembering how times like these used to be, not much different than what's happening right now. She was still the one who mediated their confrontations as it has always been; with his introverted nature, he has the tendency to shut his feelings inside and she would just unknowingly bring them out.

"Tell me everything," she told him, coming to lean on his shoulder as she craved to lessen the distance between them. Not knowing where this boldness is coming from, she just went with the flow and intertwined her fingers with his, sighing out in content at the warmth his hand gave her.

Takumi brought up their entwined fingers to his lips and planted a kiss on the smooth skin of her hand. "Well…I don't know if you remember it all yet, but we started out when I caught you in your part time job, wearing that cute little maid outfit of yours." He chuckled as he remembered the horror that crossed her face that day. "I was always interested in you even before that, just your image as the Demon President of Seika High turned me on; I always wondered how wild you would be in bed."

He laughed out loud as he felt a strong hit to his arm and found Misaki fuming mad, face red and fists clenching, "You perverted alien!"

He pulled her head back to his shoulder again and continued, "No, I was really interested in you. But I didn't have the nerve to pursue you then. It was only after I caught you in Maid Latte that I became determined to do it. You were so dense, though Misa-chan...you kept on denying your feelings for me for a long time."

"You finally confessed your undying love to me that Christmas night and then we dated." He run his fingers through her silky raven hair, just reveling in the feeling of deep contentment to have her back in his arms again. He planted a kiss on her head and breathed out deeply. This was more than enough.

"And then...?" Misaki looked up at him and waited for more. Takumi took a moment of silence before continuing, preparing himself to relive the memories of which broke them apart.

"My family wasn't in approval of our relationship. My brother threatened me with your life if I didn't stay away from you."

Misaki tried in vain to keep up with his story but failed. "But why? You introduced me to them and they didn't like me?" She waited for his response but received nothing but silence as he looked into space, deep in his thoughts. She felt this was a barely touched territory for the both of them before, and resigned to pushing her questions to silence. "I guess I should wait for that part of my memory to come back first. You don't need to tell me… I'm sure you already did before."

"No, it's not that. It's something I haven't told you yet. And it was the cause of my leaving you," he told her, not removing his gaze on the floor. He moved so that they now faced each other and he cupped her face with his hands as he planted a chaste kiss on her lips. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Misaki. Seeing you in pain was something I cannot bear looking at, same as the vision of you not being by my side anymore. But I've come to know that losing you is something I can't afford to happen again and I would do everything just to keep you by my side."

She placed her hands over his on her face, grasping and bringing them down. She brought up a hand and ran her fingers through his smooth blonde hair. "It's over now. Just don't leave me again, okay?"

He nodded and kissed her sweetly.

"I just love you so much," he whispered against her lips before deepening their kiss as he slipped his tongue into her wet cavern, sighing in relief from having her sweet taste. He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him until she rested on his lap, straddling him. She encircled her arms around his neck, burying her fingers into his hair as he trailed light kisses down her jaw. He nibbled on every surface of her skin his lips encountered, planting light kisses from time to time; he went down her neck planting small love bites along his way and groaning out as he heard her soft whimpers from his ministrations. His hands slightly moved up, just above the small of her back as he pushed her chest to him and planted small butterfly kisses on her collar bones. He moved to her shoulder and bit her gently, feeling her arching her back and pushing her chest closer to him.

He pulled back a little and started unbuttoning her white blouse, locking his eyes with hers all the while, seemingly asking for permission to continue. She responded in a way she expressed her longing desire for him and planted a chaste yet passionate kiss on his lips. It wasn't long that she pulled away before he reached out for her lips again with his own. He reached behind her inside her blouse and unclasped her bra when he had unbuttoned her blouse down to her stomach. He worked down slowly from her lips, to her neck and to her chest before he buried his face into her soft and supple skin. He started his ministrations on them giving heated licks and soft bites to each as she pushed herself more to his body while digging her fingers into his hair.

"Takumi…" she moaned out. He pulled back a bit to take a look at her flushed face; he found her heaving deep and uneven breaths with her head slightly lowered down. She took this brief moment to unbutton his black blouse and throw it to an unknown corner of his apartment in the dark. She ran her hands down the defined planes of his chest until they rested on his torso, dangerously close to the button of his white pants.

They looked at each other, half-naked and panting in the heat caused by the other. He kissed her once again and knew that she wanted it too, by the way she responded. He reached for the foil package from the drawer beside his couch.

They pushed into each other, with no boundaries between them. She clawed his back and it was the pain from this that Takumi realized that he finally had her back. He was home again.

He gripped her thighs as they looked into each other's eyes.

"I've missed you so." He kissed her sweetly as they both gave in to the longing passion that controlled their whole being.

* * *

She lied on top of him, her head directly above his chest with the beating of his heart lulling her to sleep.

"That wasn't our first time, right?" she muttered out, tracing lazy circles on his skin.

"Oh, I assure you we took care of that long ago. No surface in this apartment stayed untouched when we were doing it." he chuckled as he felt her bury her face deeper into his chest in what he was sure was because of embarrassment. He place his hand on the back of her head and smoothed down her disheveled hair. His other arm, which initially rested at the back of his head moved to graze the skin of her lower back, running it up and down along the curve.

They laid there on the couch just burying themselves in each other's warmth. There were still unanswered questions, but right now, they just basked in the feeling of contentment for being able to find their way to each other again.

"Tadaima, Takumi," she whispered, a gentle smile drawn on her face as she looked back up towards his face and ran her thumb across his cheek.

"Welcome back."

* * *

 **This is probably my favorite chapter up to date. How was it? :) Please do leave a review reader-san! The 50th review mark is near hohoho**


	8. VIII

**A/N: Did you know how much I cried from reading your reviews from last chapter guys? Really, what a way to make my day and it really helped me get through my heavy workload last week.**

 **I've read that some of you found them engaging in a certain (wink wink) encounter last chapter too fast. I'd like to explain where I came from hehe. Their deed resulted from the suppressed feelings they have for each other (more on Usui's part but still a significant amount for Misaki) for a long time. Imagine not being with the one you loved for circumstances out of your control and all the pent up frustration building up leading to that one moment wherein they just poured in their feelings for each other. I thought of it as a great way to make a one big reunion for the lovers because they have been hurt for so long, it killed me to write these two in those positions. I think they deserve some reward and yes finally they found their way 'home'! YAY FOR THEM HAHA [EDIT: omg im not offended at all guys! you're too precious for me haha sorry if it came off in a strange way other than i planned too! love you to bits Minniemiss123!]**

 **Anyway, it just tugged the strings of my heart that last chapter was able to make you feel all sorts of emotions and the burden of having to edit a chapter that long made it worth it!**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _KnightLynx_ _, LisaXShun, ArrowBee, Takumisa17_ , and _Minniemiss123_

 **Long author's note and I'd like to end it by thanking everyone who added me and/or this fic in their favorites and for following. A huge huge thank you for everyone who reviewed!**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

It has never felt this great to wake up in the morning for Misaki. Usually, she would wake up and think of what the day could offer her, preparing herself for whatever may come.

But now, she just felt as if everything fell into place; she just felt relaxed and contented.

She stayed still in her position and felt herself slightly rising and falling; in slight confusion, she lifted her head up and found the culprit of her movements - she was lying on _his_ chest. The slight rise and fall of his chest was a nod to his current state - he was sleeping peacefully below her, one arm wrapped around her waist and his other hand entwined itself with hers. She looked up to take a view of his face; his emerald eyes were hidden from her as his eyelids closed over them, his mouth slightly open. A small smile crept its way to her lips as she looked at the handsome young man before her.

Just then, memories of last night came rushing to her and in an instant she felt her face getting hot as she remembered how he felt against her.

" _No surface in this apartment stayed untouched when we were doing it."_

Misaki pushed herself up in an instant at the sudden revelation of the memory in her head; she was appalled at how sexually driven she was when she was with him. And the events last night were affirmation to that, having recalled how she wasn't able to control her shockingly overwhelming desire for him and wholeheartedly offered herself to the pleasures he had given her.

The sudden jolt stirred him up slowly and Misaki had her hands on either side of him, lifting herself up as much as his arm around her waist allowed. She heard him groan and felt her face getting warmer than it should. She felt his other hand pull her head to him again and she slumped back down on his chest in an instant.

"U-usui…" she muttered, moving her head to look at his face again. She felt embarrassed just having to think about how they made love the night before. With a part of her memories gone, she would deem last night as her first time; she couldn't ever imagine having done it with him for _several_ times as he had implied.

"Why are you calling me that again? You had no problem calling me Takumi last night…" he uttered out quite incoherently yet the teasing in his voice was still very much evident. Takumi loved the warmth her body exuded and he moved her closer to his body, if that's even possible.

His eyes stayed closed and Misaki took this moment to gaze at him fondly. She felt at rest as she looked at his face - he was always so held back during those short amount of times they spent together, he was always on edge but kept himself at bay with obvious difficulty as she had noted. The only time he bared himself to her was last night, when he recounted _their_ story and let himself loose in front of her. She was glad that he finally stopped suppressing himself, which was very much evident at how he held her at the moment with a small smile imprinted on his face.

She couldn't wait until all of her memories of him would come back to her; she felt her heartbeat picking speed up at her excitement. It was a step forward to her progress that she was able to fit his face to the blonde guy that kept haunting her visions. However, she was not satisfied with this; she still felt great remorse for having forgotten him. She didn't feel that it was right for her to declare back the love she knowingly feels for him deep inside in words when she herself hasn't even remembered him fully yet.

She doesn't want to say it yet for him when she hasn't even fully understood everything at the moment. It would be unfair for him.

She felt his hold on her loosening; he fell asleep again. She can't help the grin that made its way to her lips as she carefully lifted herself up one more time. She planted a light kiss on his lips before removing his arms around her and stood up from the couch. It was only then that she saw the state his apartment was in - everything was a mess. Their clothes were strewn across the carpeted floor, thrown in random areas as they weren't really thinking much as their hands explored each other in the dark last night. She felt herself getting warm at the thought as she retrieved her clothes to wear them again; she was probably as red as a tomato right now.

Thank goodness it was the weekend, her shift at Maid Latte starts at late afternoon; she had enough time in her hands to get ready for it and explain to her mother why she wasn't able to come home last night. It was a long shot and it surely won't be easy considering that they were hiding Usui Takumi's existence from her. They must have had a reason and maybe the part of her memories that hasn't come back yet could explain it.

The thought of it reminded her of the envelope she carried last night - it was the only one she had when she came here and she forgot where she had placed it. Her eyes grazed the couch where Takumi currently was and found the envelope lying below it. Buttoning up her white blouse (which she found thrown at some far corner for some reason), she made her way back to the living room and reached for it. The words _Hajime Clinic_ showed themselves again in front of her and she gripped the white paper in her hands. She took a look at Takumi who was still asleep...maybe she could ask him later about it.

It was only then that she was able to scan the mess on his coffee table. Pictures were scattered along the glass surface and upon closer look, she found that that they were _her_ pictures. She knelt in front of the table and picked one from the clutter. Most seemed to be some random shots of her, either looking at something or her getting red-mad at the photographer. She cannot remember where these were taken and looking at the other ones triggered another episode of the head-splitting pain that has continuously haunted her. It was lighter as compared to what she has experienced it before, so she endured it and pushed past the pain.

Her attention shifted to one corner of the table, where a few objects were bunched up together. She reached out for them and tried to separate the objects which seemed to have been crumpled in haste. She was able to retrieve first a digital camera and a muffler, which was quite poorly made as she examined it more closely - some stitches were sticking out awkwardly. She unconsciously brought it to her nose to take a sniff and found her senses being overwhelmed by his smell. She sighed out in relief despite the headache that continuously throbbed within her, slightly increasing in its intensity.

When she straightened the fabric out, a silver necklace fell out. She picked it up and grazed the heart-shaped pendant with her fingers.

" _I want to see for myself if a relationship between us is really impossible."_

The sharp increase in the intensity of her pain jolted her up. Her breathing started coming up irregularly and she was increasingly finding it difficult to breathe as the minutes passed by. She dropped the necklace and stood up to get herself a glass of water from his kitchen. Feeling the cold liquid wake her up more as it passed down her throat, she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration that the mind-numbing pain still continued to reside in her head. She was breathing more easily now but her head still felt like hell. Her eyes came upon a cassette player lying on the kitchen counter as she set the glass down.

It was weird because people stopped using those long ago.

She reached for it and pressed the open button to see if something was inside for her to play something. Indeed, there was a white tape inside. She took a closer look at it and almost dropped it from her hands as they trembled badly at the revelation in front of her. A strip of paper with her name printed on it together with a bunch of numbers was stuck on top of it.

She gulped down. _What was this?_

She returned the tape inside the player in a reversed position, closed it and pressed the play button nervously with her trembling fingers. A voice started playing and she immediately recognized it as hers.

 _"It was the necklace I got from this love trial we underwent in a school festival. He held my hand throughout the whole game because it was required, you see. And when it ended and he s-separated his hand from mine...i-it was the first time that I was genuinely scared to get separated from him and I...I just wanted to hold his hand again immediately after that."_

The pain consuming her head intensified to a degree she cannot try to endure anymore and she felt her body sliding down the counter. Her fingers started digging into her skull, compressing her head as if to try and numb the pain out from the pressure she was exerting. It was becoming too much.

She was hearing herself say things she cannot even remember saying before. Why is there a recording of her saying this? What was happening during the time it was recorded?

Was this the missing link in her memories?

Was this the key to all her questions?

 _"It was my birthday that time and that idiot kept taking pictures of me the whole day. H-he actually made me feel so i-important that day...I wouldn't ever tell him that but...I've f-fallen for him more since that day."_

The white flashes in her vision started and she saw images of Takumi in a park, playing jump rope with a bunch of other toys scattered on the grass around him. He was laughing and a wide smile had broken out in his features. It was something she has never seen before and though the image of him so happy like that melted her heart, a tightening sensation in her chest had begun.

A series of images flashed through her vision and they provided a striking resemblance to the places captured in the photos she had just seen scattered on the table. The hallucinations came to a halt and she found herself sprawled on the cold kitchen floor. A small brown box lied in front of her and once again, there was her name printed on it.

 _"This was from Christmas...someone was following us but we managed to be alone in the Ferris Wheel. It was that same night that I...I decided that I w-wouldn't let him go no matter what...without letting him know about what I feel."_

She reached an arm out, feeling the weight of it as her body slowly succumbed to the pain that engulfed her head. She was getting weaker by the minute and the feeling of lightheadedness and nausea slowly occupied her being . The corners of the box were a bit crumpled; she opened the lid and found nothing except two small pieces of card inside it.

She found it difficult to breathe again and instinctively, she gripped her blouse in an attempt to make it easier for herself to gasp for air. However, it proved to have no effect as she felt her fingers getting numb slowly. Despite this, she was still able to make out the words printed on the two cards.

Ayuzawa Misaki _had undergone a procedure in which she had erased the entity,_ Usui Takumi _, from her mind._

 _Please avoid at all costs mentioning_ Usui Takumi _to_ Ayuzawa Misaki _or any event that may have any relation to him._

She gripped the other card tightly, her hand shaking at the lack of air she was experiencing.

 _Selective Memory Erasing Procedure_

 _Instruction: Please bring all the things that would remind you of the entity you would want to have erased from your mind._

The logo of Hajime Clinic was printed at the lower corner of the card.

"Selective memory erasing procedure…" Was that how she forgot about him? She had Takumi erased from her mind?

Her senses were slowly leaving her, her vision slowly occupied by a blackness that creeped slowly. Her head already felt heavy for her to even lift it up. She felt herself getting cold.

" _I l-loved him and I told him that night… how I felt. I really thought we could stay together through what was happening that time…"_

Her sense of hearing was the last to leave her.

* * *

 **I would just like to suggest that leaving more reviews can make me give you the next chapter in a jiffy ;)**


	9. IX

**A/N: I apologize for the later than usual update. I wasn't able to write as much as I wanted to the past week. Edited this chapter quickly so I could post it asap! I'd like to clear up a misunderstanding last chapter; I was not offended at all guys! Haha you lovelies could probably never offend me! It was just an explanation I wanted to include :) Now that that's cleared up, I'd really like to thank all you guys for supporting this fic! Appreciated the reviews very much...encouragements, favorites, follows and alerts ALL OF IT! I love you guys! I was really happy to reach the 50th review landmark!**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _Takumisa17, djohagan, Padfoot Starfyre, Minniemiss123 (i wasn't offended at all, love ;)) LisaXShun, Sierra1567, michellechen911_

 _***Short simplification of some of the med terms I used (for clarifications just in case)! :)_

 _\- brainstem: a part of our brains wherein different regulatory functions are controlled, including our respiration, apart from lots of other things_

 _\- CT scan: lab test done which can assess brain condition through attainment of images of the patient's brain_

 _\- vita signs: blood pressure, pulse rate, respiratory rate as examples...for assessment of the patient's condition_

 _-intracranial pressure: pressure inside our heads; continuous increase can be detrimental to health_

 **Do leave some thoughts! I love reading them :)**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

He held her hand in his as he gritted his teeth. It was taking too long.

Her fingers felt cold against his. He brought them to his lips and kissed them, hoping desperately that he could get her there in time. Her lips were turning pale by the second and he could almost strangle the driver of the cab for not doing everything he can to move this automobile even faster than it should.

She was still breathing and he could still feel her pulse; but it was so faint he was afraid he was going to lose her any moment.

His mind turned blank as he recalled what happened. He was looking forward to waking up that morning because the days when he was alone were finally over. He finally had her back and when he slept the night before with her in his arms, it was the only time he felt truly happy after a long time of misery.

He just had her back…why does it feel like he's about to lose her again this time?

He woke up with the lack of warmth from her body and he thought that she had already left if not for her shoes that were still scattered on the carpet. He was looking forward to spending the day with her, just looking at her and holding her hand would be more than enough.

It was all he had asked for. It wasn't too much right?

He found her sprawled across his kitchen floor after he had dressed himself up. The small box laid right beside her and in her hands were the two small cards that indicated the procedure she had undergone to forget him. It was as if the world has gone crashing before his eyes.

The cab came to a halt and he looked outside to find the familiar clinic upfront. He handed the driver his payment in a mad rush and carried Misaki out. He pushed past the glass doors and locked eyes with Akira at the reception area.

The pale girl looked at him in shock, wide eyes in instant recognition grazed over the girl he carried in his arms. She stood up and broke into a run to Dr. Hajime's office.

"Hajime-sensei, we've got an emergency."

* * *

"It was a good thing you brought her here."

Takumi's worrying gaze fixated through the one-way window where he can see Misaki lying still on the bed in a white room. He flinched at the oxygen mask attached to her face and the IV line connected to her hand. Dr. Hajime Kyouko sat across the table from him carrying a white folder and a large brown envelope with her. He tore his eyes away from the raven-haired as he waited anxiously for what Dr. Hajime was about to say.

"Upon assessment, I had her undergo a CT scan to take a look at her brain. When you brought her here, her blood pressure was dangerously low and respiration was shallow so I had oxygen and IV fluids administered to her. I've prescribed her medications to increase her blood pressure without having to compromise her condition." Dr. Hajime took a moment before heaving a sigh and standing up. "Vital signs are stable now, but I have to say...things are not looking so good."

She went towards the opposite side of the small room and closed the lights before placing the blue translucent sheets and turning a switch which lit a board up.

"This one in the left shows a series of images of Ayuzawa-san's brain from the her last scan before the selective memory erasing procedure. The right shows the recent one." She got out her pen from inside the pocket of her white coat and pointed to the left sheet. "I don't know if you can see it, but there's a significant increase in size and displacement of her brain downwards here at the right as compared to the left one which was taken more than a month ago."

Dr. Hajime paused for a moment before motioning her hand towards the span of her head. "The increase in intracranial pressure, or in much simpler terms, the pressure inside our heads as a result of this increase in size of the brain can explain her sudden loss of consciousness and difficulty in breathing as the lower part of the brain - some parts of the brainstem to be exact, which controls our breathing - was compressed and a temporary loss of function occurred."

Takumi looked at the images presented in front of him with furrowed brows. His heart could almost rip his chest open from its rapid beating from the overwhelming anxiety. "Why was there an increase in the size of her brain in the first place?" He wasn't sure about the implication of everything she is saying except for one thing...judging from the grave seriousness the doctor displayed, it possibly can't be any good.

"I have one thing in mind but that needs further assessment." She turned the light switch of the board off again and moved towards the switch for the lights of the room. She took a seat in front of Takumi who evidently displayed uneasiness as he moved to the edge of his seat. She clasped her hands together on the table and leaned towards him. "Was she able to retrieve any memory of you that was previously lost? Can she remember you again?"

Takumi nodded his head. His fingers started to shake a little.

"Any signs of headache from Ayuzawa-san, perhaps? Or at least any signs of pain when you're with her?"

He thought back to that time he held her when they had dinner at his apartment; she was obviously wincing in pain and trying to hide it from him failed miserably. He had watch her jerk in pain and grip the spoon ever so tightly as she tried to control herself. There were random times she would flinch too when he told her their story last night. "Yes...I've noticed them."

The older woman leaned back on her chair in a state of deep thought as she placed a hand on her creased forehead. She heaved a deep sigh. "There's a purpose as to why we prevent triggering the memories we've erased from a patient's mind. I trust that you already knew about the precautionary measure we've taken regarding this?"

He knew. It was on the small white card Ayuzawa Suzuna handed to him before; it was also what Misaki held earlier in the morning when she lost consciousness.

 _Please avoid at all costs mentioning_ Usui Takumi _to_ Ayuzawa Misaki _or any event that may have any relation to him._

"I've told you about the concept of concussion when you visited us before, right?" she paused for a moment to get even the slightest response from the boy who looked so lost in front of her before continuing, "During the procedure, we condition the mind to repress the memories of the entity that has caused the patient great pain by administering shocks. The procedure itself is safe...but the consequences are highly risky. We try to prevent the resurfacing of the suppressed memories as this could inflict a serious damage to the brain. When the memory of that entity is triggered, the mind tries to suppress it by imitating the sensations of the shock. Repeated exposure to this could deeply damage the brain. In her case," Dr. Hajime faced the one-way mirror occupying about half the size of one wall of the room with a grave look on her face, "being exposed to this sensation as evidenced by the recurring episodes of headache…there is no doubt as to why there is a swelling of the brain."

"However, further increase of pressure inside her head due to the inflammation could lead to a more serious brain injury." The older woman closed her eyes, heaving a deep breathe as if to prepare herself for a grim reality. "If this continues, death would be a highly probable end-point."

It was as if someone had knocked all the air out of his lungs. He had his hands cupped over his knees, digging deeply as he tried to control the tremble that made its way through him. He felt his voice breaking. "That would mean…"

"Having her remembering you could further worsen things as they are now."

He felt his lips tremble. His gaze found its way back to her who still lied unconscious on the bed...the fire behind her blazing amber eyes that he loved was nowhere to be found as they stayed closed, shielded from him. It seemed as if life was slowly being drained out of her pale and limp body and he felt so helpless at being able to do nothing to even stop the world from taking her away from him.

Life was too cruel. He had lived most of his life alone and rejected by his family. When he finally found someone whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, someone who accepted him wholeheartedly despite being a product of a shameful affair, someone who fought to be with him and tried to stay by his side...life just had to deprive him of the simple joys of love and contentment of being with her.

"A second procedure," he heard Dr. Hajime's voice echo in the hollow of his mind, "A second round of the selective memory erasing procedure. We'd go back right from the start. There would be none of your existence in that reality of hers so as to prevent further damage… the sensations of pain from trying to resist the resurfacing of her memories of you would stop as you would be erased from her mind again. You'd have to cut all your ties with her by then to prevent the trigger…but are you fine with that?"

She'd forget him again. The only person who he had ever loved and who had ever loved him would cease to remember him again. The past month of living in seclusion to his agony and misery has been hell…and he would have to relive this nightmare for the rest of his life.

But if it's to save her, he would do it.

He would suppress himself and hold back, to let her live.

He wouldn't live in this world when she wasn't in it. He would rather live off in the reality that she was alive and well. He wouldn't care that she would have forgotten him by then.

Buried deep in his thoughts, Takumi hadn't noticed Ayuzawa Suzuna's arrival; he had called her to tell her of what happened. He only felt her presence when she stood at his side, glaring at him as she tried to control herself from retaliating against him by maintaining her stone-cold facade as always. He watched her enter the white sterile room and stand at her sister's side, holding Misaki's hand to her face as she started shedding tears at the sight in front of her. Dr. Hajime followed her to the adjacent room and through the one-way window, he could tell that the older woman was trying to explain Misaki's condition with much sensitivity to the situation.

Takumi was now standing in front of the glass, placing a hand on its cold surface. He traced Misaki's weakened figure with his fingers through the transparent surface, already feeling the distance between them as he tried to gulp down the choking sensation making its way up his throat. His chest overwhelmed with a tightening grip as he came face to face with the terms of the impending reality before him.

He felt a presence at his side once again and found Dr. Hajime back in the room with him, arms crossed with a grim expression on her face.

"Three days," he muttered, trying to instill his indignation in his decision, "let me have the next three days with her and then carry out the procedure."

Usui Takumi had just had Ayuzawa Misaki back…and he was soon going to lose her again.


	10. X

**A/N: My absence was longer than usual only because I took my time in writing this and some parts of the succeeding chapters, and time constraints. Story is indeed getting heavier and I don't want to rush the emotions Takumi and Misa's characters wanted to impart. Thank you so much for the reviews especially, the favorites, alerts and follows! I really really appreciated it! :)**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _Takumisa17, KitsunaPI, Minniemiss123, Seirra1567, Padfoot Starfyre, and naturebookworm_

 **Do leave some thoughts! I love reading them :)**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

It was hours later that she had woken up.

Emerald eyes met hazy amber eyes as Takumi stood abruptly from a chair at her bedside to take a good look at her. His eyes widened in recognition as he placed a hand on her cold cheek. Indeed, she was awake.

"I'll be back." He pressed his lips against her forehead before speeding out of the room. When he opened the door, Akira was standing just outside. He was breathing erratically and she gave him a nod, proceeding to the office at the other end of the hall.

Dr. Hajime rushed inside the room with Akira and Takumi stood at the other side of the bed gripping Misaki's hand in nervous anxiety as he watched the older woman assess his lover's condition.

"How are you feeling, Ayuzawa-san?"

"H-hajime-sensei?" Misaki's voice croaked. Her eyes looked frantic, taking in her surroundings. Despite the haze in her mind, she easily recognized the white sterile room she was in. "W-what happened?"

She felt the oxygen mask placed on her face and lifted her hand slightly to find the IV line connected to it. Her eyebrows furrowed, forehead creasing in confusion of the current state she was in. She felt drained out; she wanted to sit up but her body screamed against it.

The last thing she remembered was falling onto Takumi's kitchen floor...the cassette player…and the box.

Her eyes darted across the room, past the staring faces at her figure, and instantly she remembered. She remembered the pain...the woes and the sorrows of this room. She was lying on the same bed, staying in the same room where she had undergone the procedure to forget him. Her sight set on the boy at her right side, gripping her hand ever so tightly it kept her grounded to the reality she was in. His face was contorted into that of deep worry as he stared right through her. His jaw was tightly clenched, his beautiful emerald eyes set deep into a dark world she cannot see through.

She gazed at him, feeling a tightening sensation in her chest as her fingers moved to intertwine with his; he clasped hers with the same pressure and intensity. She remembered.

The love trial.

Her birthday.

That Christmas night in the Ferris Wheel.

His family.

Him leaving her.

She bit her lip as she tried to stop the tears welling up in her eyes from falling. Her teeth dug on her lips as she felt the hiccups make their way up her throat; her body trembled at his presence in front of her.

He was back.

It was more than enough to put a seal of reassurance on her aching heart; she has hurt for so long at his betrayal; she has craved his presence in his time of absence...and now he was back. And she can remember all the hurt and pain she has felt. She can remember just how much she loved him, just how much she had given herself to the man in front of her. And his current presence in front of her was almost enough for her to forgive him. Because she cannot deny that she still loved him just as much as she did before he had left her...maybe even more now. She knew how it felt to have him away from her...she knew that she needed him with her and it would be too much for her to handle to watch him walk away from her again.

She felt the warm and wet sensation on her face. She had finally let her tears fall. The hiccups made their way out of her mouth, her body shaking each time it came out. She gripped his hand more tightly; she wasn't going to let him leave her again this time.

She heard the door of the room close and she found Takumi moving closer. He had leaned down and moved the oxygen mask lower, capturing her lips with his in haste. His mouth pushed against hers, his tongue lining her lips before it went past them. He placed his hand on her cheek, his thumb running across the tear-stained skin of her face. She had let go of his other hand and placed it on the back of his head, gripping a fistful of his golden hair as she pulled his head closer to hers, her lips pushing against him deeper in desperate need of his warmth.

They had let go of each other, foreheads pressed together as they tried to catch their breaths.

"I can remember you now, Takumi."

* * *

Dr. Hajime stood at the other side of the room, behind the one-way mirror overlooking the lovers in the adjacent room. Akira stood at her side, with a hand placed across her mouth; her suppressed sobs betrayed her and she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

The older woman heaved a deep sigh, eyes closing tightly at the heavy sensation placed upon her chest.

It was such a shame to lose a love like that.

* * *

The bus ride home was silent. In the wee hours of the morning, the streets stayed devoid of people as most retreated to their homes to get some rest. But for him, rest would mean wasting his remaining time with her. He tightened his grip on her hand as she leaned on his shoulder during her slumber.

A few hours after she had awaken on that white bed, he was allowed to take her away after her condition was ensured with the promise of taking her back as soon as the three days he had asked was over. It was his three last remaining days with her, and Dr. Hajime had given it to him.

He pressed a kiss on her forehead as his mind went over the hectic string of events that happened prior to this moment.

Ayuzawa Suzuna had taken it to her decision to give him her blessing, after seemingly berating herself for a long while as she watched her unconscious sister, fully knowing that he was watching through the glass.

"As much as I want to put all the blame on you...it was ultimately my sister's decision to go back to you. With all the lies we've pushed on her, she still went her own way."

He had looked at her with all the possible begging he could give to a person that could be done.

"The idea...of possibly-" he had watched her push back a choke down her throat, pausing for a moment before continuing her words, "Possibly losing my sister...I can't bear with that. And I know we both don't want that."

She had paved for his way. She mentioned about her mother still not having any kind of information from what has happened as she had worked in the hospital tirelessly from day till night. She had visited their mother once to check but was soon sent home with the older woman telling her that she's completely alright. "It's better this way," Suzuna had told him with remorseful eyes.

He pressed his lips to Misaki's dark hair and inhaled her scent deeply, filling his system with the memory of her.

He tugged her gently for her to wake up when they were near his place. Hazy amber eyes met his in a moment where everything just seemed to stop around them, and she offered a small smile to him. He held her hand as he helped her up and made their way down the bus, to the walk to his building. The elevator ride was in silent peace and they made their way to the familiar oak door of his apartment.

Everything was still a mess and he can see it in the dark. The pictures still scattered on his coffee table. The cassette player on his counter top. The box at the corner of the room. The muffler...the necklace on the carpeted floor.

He suddenly didn't want to stay there, with the loneliness of the dark looming over them. He watched silently as Misaki moved towards the table, arranging the pictures in a neat pile then placing the muffler beside them. She picked up the necklace from the floor and made her way back to him. She lifted her hand towards him, offering the necklace to him.

His emerald eyes gazed at her amber ones first before grabbing the necklace with his fingers and moving behind her. He gently pushed her hair to the side and pressed his lips on the exposed tempting skin of her neck. Her heard her sigh before he withdrew and placed the necklace around her neck. He put his arms around her, engulfing her thin frame and pulled her close to him.

"Will you accept me again?" he breathed into her ear as he rested his chin on her shoulder. Silence engulfed the darkness around them, the sun still far from rising. He felt her fingertips thread through his hair as she moved to face him. She had her hands on either side of his face, her eyes boring a hole to his soul.

Misaki looked at him with so much emotion withheld behind her amber eyes as she burned his emerald eyes into her memory. It was unfathomable, how she could forget about them...oh, just how much she missed looking into those. She grazed her thumb across his cheek, feeling his warm skin under her fingers ever so gently; she was afraid that if she put any more pressure than this, touching him more intensely, would make her lose him again...she was afraid that any moment now, he would leave again. He was gone for more than a year, and it was unfair that after everything, he still held her heart. It was unfair, how she just wants to give up herself to him completely right now...because in spite of it all, he was still the one she loved.

He had hurt her deeply...but all she wants to do right now is to be together with him again. She _craved_ for his entire being. Being separated from him has made her realize that life was completely dull without her alien by her side.

She didn't notice her tears started falling, only coming to know of it when she watched how his eyes shifted to worry, brows connecting together as he wiped her tears with his fingers.

"Idiot." She tiptoed as she reached for his tall frame, pressing her mouth against his; he sensed the salty taste of her tears on her sweet lips. She pulled back soon enough and a smile tugged the edges of her soft lips. "It's hard not to."

* * *

 **Leave some thoughts, comment your favorite part/line or just anything! I really enjoy reading your reactions! Next chapter will be longer and will be uploaded sooner in return! :)**


	11. XI

**A/N: I'm almost dead inside from writing this chapter...this was extremely emotionally draining more than it was physically and mentally. I've given my best for giving this special chapter justice and I would really very much appreciate it if you guys take the short moment to leave a review of your thoughts because it means that I've effectively written out this chapter for all its worth.**

 **Really appreciated the overwhelming reviews I've received for the past chapter! Be sure to also add this fic to your favs if you liked it! Thank you very much for the continued support!**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _ArrowBee, Xia-Jayde0527, KitsunePl, Padfoot Starfyre, LisaXShun, Minniemiss123, Seirra1567, KittyKissez, Takumisa17, victoria_

 **Brace yourselves.**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

"Idiot." She tiptoed as she reached for his tall frame, pressing her mouth against his; he sensed the salty taste of her tears on her sweet lips. She pulled back soon enough and a smile tugged the edges of her soft lips. "It's hard not to."

He had to let out a low laugh. He pressed his forehead against hers, loving the warmth her skin exuded. His emerald eyes stared right through hers. "Spend the day with me? Let's go somewhere."

She pulled from him and pointed at the dark sky which showed itself through the expanse of the glass windows of his apartment.

"Don't you plan to rest first? For goodness sake, the sun hasn't even risen yet!" He laughed at how she flailed her arms around. "And I don't have spare clothes with me!"

"You can always wear my shirts."

"You pervert!"

He hummed in deep thought, blatantly ignoring her exclaim. "I wouldn't want other guys seeing you like that, though. Only _I'm_ allowed to see how sexy you are in my clothes."

"I could strangle you right now, I mean it." She clenched her fists then paused for a moment to prove her intention, emphasizing her words through gritted teeth. " _I - have - no - clothes - here_."

"What are you talking about?"

He pulled her to his closet at the corner and opened the white doors to reveal the small space with a stack of her clothes neatly folded at the middle shelf, some hung above them. They were the ones she left when she used to sleep here for several nights, she remembered. She looked at him with a shocked expression as she covered her gaping mouth with a hand. "You k-kept them?"

He watched as her eyes melt into a softer expression at the realization. "I mean it was a y-year? You didn't discard-"

He hushed her with a finger on her soft plump lips. A small smile tugged his lips. "So about what I was saying…"

She looked away, contemplating about her decision. "I need to talk to mom and Suzuna first."

Takumi walked towards her as he reached for her hands and gripped them. He pleaded at her with his eyes. "Can we forget about everything for a moment? Give me this day...please." He cradled her face with his hands, pushing a strand of hair away before running his thumb across her cheek.

Turning red, her honest amber eyes looked away from his begging ones. "A-alien…"

He got her answer when she started pulling clothes out of the pile. He let out a small smile before he knelt beside her and pulled out some of his own.

* * *

Takumi briefly remembered going to the place once, when he had just landed in Japan after gaining independence from the Walkers. At least it _was_ then.

Looking at the horizon clearly seen from the open area of the train station, the sun had started to rise, painting the sky in hues of red, yellow and orange. Misaki was sitting beside him, wrapped in a thick dark coat with his arms around her to keep her warm. Winter was coming to its end, but the cold weather was still mixed with the air, not ready to leave yet. They had taken the bus prior, and now they were just waiting for the first train to come.

He intertwined his fingers with hers, running his thumb across the smooth skin of her hand. "The sun had just started to rise, Misaki." He felt her shift in his arms.

"It's beautiful," she breathed out.

His emerald eyes found their way to her face, taking in the breathtaking view of his love. He watched as her eyes melt into appreciation of the wonders of nature.

He smiled at her. _Nothing could ever compare to you._ His eyes focused on her fiery amber ones, whose color could light up his world unlike everything else. To her lips, who could take him into the heavens more than all the happiness he can have in the world.

"You're more beautiful." He watched her face flush in a color that resembled the hues of the sunrise.

"S-stop saying w-weird things!"

He chuckled at the redness of her face and stole a quick kiss from her. The sounds of wheels scratching against the rails came and both turned their heads at the direction of the source. True enough, the figure of the train showed itself from a distance. Standing up first, he held out a hand for her and together they walked to the platform.

The place stayed deserted as it was still about six in the morning. Takumi took the chance to touch Misaki as much as possible as he remembered that the only times that she would allow him to was when they were alone. And it didn't change, even after a year of their separation. He held her hand closer to his face and planted a kiss on the cold smooth skin of her fingers. When he looked at her, he found her quirking a brow at him but was surprised when she tiptoed to reach for his lips. She didn't do anything but stayed still, her lips just touching his own in the most innocent yet sweetest way that only she can do. When he felt her about to pull back, he immediately placed his hand at the back of her head, pulling her closer to him, and nibbled on her lower lip. Misaki willingly parted her lips after breathing out a soft chuckle and she soon tasted him.

Both pulled back, heaving deep breaths as their foreheads touched each other. "P-pervert."

Takumi laughed, and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "You like it, though."

An entrance to the train stopped in front of them and both stepped in, moving past the empty chairs and towards the furthest row before sitting down. Takumi placed an arm around her shoulders as Misaki pushed up the window beside her. Soon, the train started moving again.

He just watched her, taking in her presence as much as he can, as she looked out the window to appreciate the skies that were only beginning to brighten up.

"Takumi." She turned her head and was slightly startled to find him staring so closely at her, his nose almost touching the tip of her ears.

"Hmmm?" He went on to nuzzling his nose to her hair and inhaling deeply to engrave her scent to his senses. She did not protest and resigned to stay still, even leaning her head to him.

"I remember the first time I called you by your first name," she muttered. "We were also watching the sunrise back then, right?" She went on to interlacing her fingers with his in a quiet manner which just made his heart beat slightly faster .

"Yeah…" He placed his chin on her shoulder. He remembers it too, still as clear in his mind as the skies before him. He remembered waking up next to her on the futon he was forced to buy so they wouldn't have to squeeze on his couch. He insisted on buying a bed for them but she argued that it was too expensive and it wasn't as if she was living in his apartment with him (he pleaded her to move in with him and eventually laughed it off when she turned red and quite uncomfortable). He stirred awake and found her staring outside the wide expanse of the floor-to-ceiling glass windows installed in his apartment, waiting for the sun to show itself from behind the dark clouds of the early hours of the morning. She had tugged on him cutely, her amber eyes wide and shining innocently as she muttered 'Takumi' and pointed out the windows. They watched the sunrise together, him mostly watching her from time to time; he appreciated the light she brought into his life much more than what the sun did.

She hummed lowly, running her thumb across the back of his hand and returned her gaze outside the window beside her. Takumi could see the condensed air she breathed out as the cold wind rushed through them. The trees the train passed by were stripped bare of their leaves, white slurries settling on the firm branches as the cold winter of February cast its spell. Soon, the trees disappeared and in came the view of wide fields, the apparent absence of green from the grass which used to occupy the broad expanse now replaced with blankets of snow.

"Kaichou." His mischievous emerald eyes glinted at her and she spun around again, her lips slightly brushing his forehead due to his position on her shoulder. A small smile made its way to her lips at the sound of her old nickname from him. It was her title in Seika High, but she eventually found out that it was his term of endearment to her. And though the students called her that out of respect (mostly fear), he called her with it with so much tenderness behind his mischief, something only _he_ can do.

"It's been long since I heard that." A deep sense of nostalgia settled within her. She craved for his presence so much, she doesn't even know how to contain herself from bursting out whenever he touched her; she missed him _that_ much. She leaned and pressed her lips on his forehead before resting her chin on his blonde locks.

* * *

Takumi placed the hand-carry bag on the couch placed in front of the fireplace, watching Misaki take in the small private cabin he had rented out for them. He had roamed his eyes around it too, concluding that there wasn't that much of a difference compared to back then when he visited the small village about two years ago.

The same old wooden panels still lined the wall, same rustic feel still there inside the humble cabin. Cobblestone framed the fireplace, different ancient trinkets placed on the wooden surface on top of it. A painting of a waterfalls placed in front of a wall carpet with Aztec prints was stuck on the wall above, the carpet almost an identical pattern to the carpet placed beneath the couch.

His emerald eyes found their way to her again. She was now leaning against the doorframe at the back of the house overlooking the majestic lake at the center of a clearing in the forest. He made his way towards her, snaking his arms around her waist when he got to her. He pulled her closer to his body and placed his chin on her shoulder.

"I think it would be better if we got here around spring, don't you think?" he heard her mutter softly.

Misaki looked at the breathtaking scenery before her; even when everything was covered with snow, it was still beautiful. The lake was now frozen as it was dead in the winter, and the trees surrounding the clearing were stripped bare of their leaves, branches casting shadows on the expanse of the iced body of water with ice crystals hanging on them sparkling against the sunlight. She could see how it would look like, when trees would be full of color and the water unfrozen shining ever so wonderfully in a beautiful spring day. Nonetheless, it still managed to leave her breathless.

There was an extension of a porch at the back of the cabin and Takumi held her hand gently as he pulled her to a swinging seat by the wooden panels.

"Too bad the lake's frozen. I was thinking of going skinny dipping with you-"

"YOU PERVERT!" she punched his arm, "How could you freaking think of that when it's _this_ cold?"

"So you'd do it with me when it's not cold?" Mischievous eyes glinted at her.

She growled at him and Takumi chuckled before pulling her head to lean on his shoulder. He threaded his fingers through the silky strands of her raven hair, engraving the feeling in his senses as he planted his lips on her hair.

"Let's go back here."

It was a soft request from her, but it was enough to shove a knife into his piercing heart. It was a far cry from reality, a wistful thinking for their borrowed time. His fingers entwined with hers and he gripped her hand tightly in his.

"Sure." He'd visit this place again with her in his dreams...at least in his dreams, he could fulfill his promise to her.

With his arms around her, they relished in the peace of being in each other's arms in silence.

* * *

"Fireworks festival?"

Misaki looked at the poster put up on the wooden post by a waiting shed. She turned her head to her side to take a look at Takumi and was harassed by a flash of light. Her eyebrow twitched at the sight of her boyfriend holding up the same digital camera he had held years ago when they had their first date on her birthday.

Another flash startled her out of her thoughts and her face turned red, holding her hand out to block the camera's view from her.

Takumi gave her a toothy grin before looking at the shots he'd taken of Misaki. "You're so cute, Misa-chan."

She tried snatching the camera away from him, but being the alien that her boyfriend was, in lightning speed he had it placed inside his coat where she could not reach into. "Fine. Do what you want!"

She turned away from him and walked towards the flea market they can see from a distance. Takumi had taken long strides towards her and put his arm around her shoulders. She jerked and threw his arm away, looking frantically at the people around them.

"Don't do that! Others can see!"

"Doesn't matter. They don't know us."

"BUT STILL! It might come off in a wrong way!"

"Then let's make it clear." He laughed at her red face and put on a smug look before taking a deep breath. "MINNA-SAN, THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND MISAKI. ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?"

She had smacked the back of his head hard before taking a bow of apology before the crowd who started forming a circle around them, with the commotion he had caused. With a heated face, she grabbed his hand and pulled the idiot towards a deserted place behind the trees.

She was heaving deeply, eyes lighting up in fire with fists clenched at her sides.

"What?" His mischievous eyes glinted at her.

She gathered his shirt in her fists and looked at him with ferocity. Through clenched teeth, she whispered harshly, "You freaking idiot! Why did you do that?!"

He placed his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. He laughed at the startled look on her face and run his fingers through her hair. The mischief behind his eyes turned into that of tenderness, of content and happiness as he gazed at her longingly. "I'm just so happy to have you with me again."

Her amber eyes were looking straight through his emerald ones before he leaned down and connected his lips with her. He pulled back, a small smile on his lips leaving her a bit stunned. Not knowing what to do, she shoved her red face into his chest, hiding from him.

"Damn you."

They stayed like that for a moment, her engulfed in his arms before she pulled away and grabbed a hold of his hand. Her heart warmed up at having his fingers interlaced with hers, her small hand fitting perfectly in his as if they were originally molded into one. She faced away from him.

"You can hold my hand."

Takumi smiled at her. "How sly of you, Misaki."

They walked, hand in hand towards the bustling flea market again.

* * *

It was dark by the time they made it back to the cabin. They walked hand in hand towards the dirt road, white knitted bonnets placed on their heads. He had insisted they buy it, since they were both wearing matching mufflers too. Misaki had blushed because it was downright cheesy...but he had smiled at her cutely she had to give in to his childish whims.

The stars were shining brightly, reflecting on the frozen lake behind the cabin. It was a much more beautiful sight, watching them from a quiet village where nothing could compete and cloud their magnificence unlike in the city. She ran towards it and pointed at the image of the stars imprinted on the ice. Takumi felt a tightening in his chest as he watched her enjoy herself at the simple joys of life. The stars were nothing compared to her; she shone much more brightly and he really couldn't take his eyes away from that.

It would be a crime to look at the stars when she was the center of his world.

"Takumi, come here!" Her smile was as wide as ever, amber eyes shining in childlike innocence as she motioned for him to come. She stepped onto the frozen waters as she waited for him. Takumi took quick strides towards her, eyes widening in worry for the fragile ice might crack beneath her.

He grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her towards him, away from the ice beneath her feet. "Stupid, don't do that. You might fall."

Misaki laughed at his contorted face and took a step towards the ice again, pulling him with her this time. It was weird, when he was the one being the buzzkill between the two of them; she was always the one who took on that role.

"Relax, you alien." She tightened her hold on his hand as she dragged him towards the center of the lake. She lied down on the cold surface and pulled him down with her, tugging on the sleeves of his thick coat. He resigned with a sigh, running a hand through his messy locks before occupying the space beside her.

He can feel the warmth from where their hands are connected, the sensation creeping through his system, keeping him wide awake and reminding him just how much she had taken a huge part of his life in her hands. She affected him deeply and managed to let him see that the world wasn't so dark...he wasn't alone after all when he was with her.

He tightened his hold on her hand, to remind himself that she was still there and that there was still time left to be with her.

Suddenly, the dark sky was painted with flashes of color, robbing the stars as the center of their attention.

"I completely forgot about the fireworks festival!" Her bright amber eyes mirrored the flashes of color as she looked at them in delight, lips upturned in a wide smile.

Sparkles of bright colors lighted the skies in intervals, violet to blue, green to yellow, red to orange, taking turns in occupying the darkness. Takumi smiled at the memories that clouded his mind with the image of the fireworks before him. His mind was filled with her; that night at the beach with both of them kneeled in front of each other on the sand, when he had confessed to her how much it irked him that he just wanted to keep those dirty men away from her thus his decision to go against her in the volleyball competition; that night when he got to feel her lips against his, both of them donned in Romeo and Juliet costumes after she had unknowingly confessed to him...he knew then that she reciprocated his feelings - she was still in denial with the surface meaning of her words...but he knew her.

"I remember." She breathed out as she looked at him. The slight jerk her body made hadn't gone unnoticed by his sharp eyes and he only gripped her hand more tightly to try to ease the pain away. She bit her lip, honest eyes looking at him, cheeks flushing, and she gave out a small smile to him in reassurance as her eyes started to well up from the memories of him.

"I never stopped loving you." He turned his body towards hers, his other arm cushioning his head from the hard and cold surface of the ice. He brought her hand to his lips and planted a kiss on it, running his thumb gently across the smooth skin, his emerald eyes all the while locked on her glassy amber ones.

There was a brief moment of silence between them, the whistling cold air gushing through their faces, the only source of sound within the forest.

"Then why did you suddenly leave?" A flash of pain crossed her beautiful eyes, and Takumi felt as if someone had knocked all the air out of his lungs.

"I haven't completely told you what happened yet. I'm sorry." His desperate apologies for his sins made their way out of his mouth again; he never wanted to see that look of pain on her. He reached for her, trying to pull her closer. "When I told you about my decision regarding Miyabigaoka, I was really planning to finish the rest of the year. But Gerard, he...he…"

She pushed him away, fists on his chest to put as much space between them as possible. She looked at him fiercely, tears threatening to fall. "That was when you said he threatened you with my life, right? I would have understood you Takumi, if only you had managed to tell me! But you didn't...you chose to handle things your own way and though it wasn't your intention to leave me, you still did! You betrayed me...broke my heart and left me to deal with it without any answers. I died, everyday...just having to think of why you would suddenly leave me when all I wanted was to protect you and be by your side and-"

His eyes widened in shock at her sudden outburst. Moments like these were rare but he was never really prepared whenever they happened.

Following his instincts, he had grabbed her close to his body and gripped her body tightly in his arms, almost crushing her, drowning out her pain. She sobbed uncontrollably into his shirt and his heart broke into a thousand pieces as he helplessly heard her strength crumble down in front of him.

"How could you do that? How could you hurt me like that? I just wanted it to stop and it was what pushed me to undergo the procedure just to forget you because the pain was destroying me and I just wanted it to end…" The words just flew out of her mouth and she was losing control over herself. Takumi just hugged her with all his might, accepting her pain because it was the least he could do; he wanted to take all her pain away but knows that the damage he inflicted on her was too much that he can't anymore.

It was getting too difficult to breathe when the love of his life looked so vulnerable and fragile and all things he didn't ever want to see behind those eyes which were always on fire and full of warmth. And the worst thing about it, was that he was the one who did this to her.

He swore to himself that he would always protect her from the pain, from anyone who would hurt her, that he wouldn't let anyone destroy the only light in his life. But he was the one who broke his own oath...and it tortured him to no end as he suffered from the punishment of his betrayal to her - fate would soon take her away from him.

When her sobs and shaking died down, he placed a hand on the back of her head, running his fingers through the silky strands of her dark hair.

"Gerard was getting weaker...and my family wanted to take me back to take over the entire corporation in his place. My decision on transferring to Miyabigaoka was my way of getting into terms with them, so I wouldn't have to sacrifice you. But they played with my weakness and made sure that I was not backing out of the deal with them so they did it. Gerard called me and ended our conversation with a threat. I've gone crazy just having to think about the possibility of forever losing you and I don't want that. You were the only good thing that happened to me and I can't be selfish enough to even put you in danger so I did it. I'm sorry...I'm sorry…"

There was a long moment of silence between them. He shut his eyes tightly as memories of his pain of having to lose her resurfaced in his mind; those nights when all he wanted was to run back to her and gather her in his arms and just be with her. He felt her shove her face deeper to his chest as she tightened her hold onto his shirt.

"Every night was hell. I was always looking for you, for your presence, for your touch. I was trapped in a world of misery and agony at having to leave you and it became too much. He called again and I have only a month left before I leave for England. I had to see you again and that's when I knocked on your door. I found out that you've forgotten about me and though it destroyed me, I knew that I deserve it because I've hurt you so much and...and…"

She started pounding her fists against his chest weakly and let out a miserable chuckle. Takumi felt his heart breaking, it was there again. Her laugh when she tried to suppress herself and her pain. Her laugh when she underwent the procedure. And he was the one who caused it again.

He kissed her temple in a desperate attempt to heal her pain and bear the entirety of the weight of his sins on his own...because she didn't deserve the agony that came with it.

"If there's one thing you should know...it's that I never _ever_ stopped loving you."

He tightened his hold on her but with all the strength left in her, she pushed him away. She moved to sit up and look at him, tear-stained beautiful face gazing down at him. Takumi had sat up and tried to reach for her hands but she slapped his hands away.

Through gritted teeth, she muttered in a repressed whisper, "What about your family...are you going to leave me again?"

He opened his mouth but barely a word came out. He gulped down the choking sensation in his throat and closed his lips again, resigned miserably to just looking at her as he watched his whole world crumble before his eyes.

Misaki bit down on her lip to control her sobs that were beginning to make their way out. She pushed herself to stand up on the surface of the slippery ice and slowly made her way to land. She wasn't able to see the crack on one area and with another careless step on it, the ice beneath her cracked and it happened fast before her eyes. The frozen surface had separated beneath her and soon she was drenched in the deadly cold waters of the lake.

"MISAKI!"

Takumi was on his feet as fast as he could as he skidded towards her. She resurfaced from the waters and was clutching on the edges of the broken ice. He was careful when he got to her so as not to bear down any more sudden pressure on the fragile ice. He reached out his hand and she grabbed it. He pulled her to him from a stable area of the frozen lake and they both slumped down when he was able to retrieve her from the waters.

He grabbed her close to him and covered her body with his, giving as much warmth as he could to her shivering body, rubbing his hands down her arms. The ice cold water drenched her clothes and hair completely and Takumi removed his coat and wrapped it around her, followed by his muffler to wipe her face. Her amber eyes stayed on him the whole time, waiting anxiously for his answer.

His decision of taking over the corporation in his brother's place still hasn't changed, because it was the only way to protect her life from them. But it wouldn't matter anymore when that time came. He halted his actions, and held her face with his hands, running his thumb across the smooth surface of her skin.

He forced out a smile despite the pain inside him. "You won't have to worry about that." _Because you'd forget me again by then._

Misaki felt her bottom lip shivering and she bit it down to stop the uncontrollable action. She pushed her face against his hands and planted her lips on his, drowning out all of herself to him, to the only man she ever loved.

Takumi met her lips in equal fervor, moving his arms to her waist as he pulled her closer. She entangled her fingers into his golden locks and pulled his head closer. He lined her lips with his tongue and she opened up ever so passionately, she glided hers with his. They both moaned at the intimate contact as heads turned to remove the distance between them as much as possible, hands exploring each other's bodies to get as much warmth from the other. Takumi pulled back and carried her in his arms carefully as he walked towards land. He ascended the stairs to the porch slowly, amber and emerald eyes locked on each other the whole while, taking all the time in the world with them.

He started a fire on the pile of wood in the fireplace and had moved Misaki gently near the source of warmth before making his way to the bathroom to prepare a warm bath for her.

He found the faucet for the large tub and adjusted the heater before water came pouring out into the large marble expanse of the bath. He added bath foam into the waters and grabbed a towel before leaving the bathroom and wrapped it around Misaki who was crouched in front of the fireplace.

"I've prepared a warm bath for you." He placed an arm under her knees, the other behind her back and pulled her up once again into his arms before he made his way back to the bathroom. He placed her down gently at the edge of the tub and looked at her tenderly. He was about to leave when she reached out for him and grabbed hold of his hand.

There was a tempting flush of red splayed across her cheeks as she pulled him closer before she removed his coat together with hers and placed them on the marble surface near the bathroom sink. Her trembling fingers felt for the hem of her long sleeved shirt and she pulled it off before him.

His eyes slightly widened at her array of actions but he quickly caught onto what was happening. He offered her a gentle smile before placing his arms around her waist and swooping down to catch her soft red lips with his. There was a spark of electricity between them as their mouths connected and two bodies pushed further towards each other to satiate the need to feel each other's warmth. He pulled back for a moment to remove his shirt and let himself be pulled by her again as they kissed once more.

His skillful fingers started fumbling with the button of her pants and he opened it before unbuttoning his own. Clothes were soon discarded on the floor and he carried her with him and he submerged both of their bodies into the warm water, lips never leaving each other, afraid that a momentary loss of contact between them would make them go crazy.

Her fingers were raking through his hair as he worked his way with her. The sudden rush of overwhelming sensations made her come up with a guttural moan as his fingers exerted his dominance over her, reminding her that she was his and that never really changed; he was the only one who was able to touch her this way and the _only_ one who could ever make her feel this way. She had offered him the same passion and soon the room was filled with sounds of pleasure from both of them.

He had opened the shower head above them and hands roamed each other's bodies in haste. He lathered up the shampoo in his hands and massaged his fingers through her silky locks, resigning to do what the purpose of bathing really was and not just pleasuring each other in the bath. She soon did the same thing and when they decided that they were both clean enough, he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he dove for her neck and nipped and sucked on the skin hungrily.

Her pleasured sighs filled the bathroom and Takumi moved out of the bath and grabbed a towel to dry themselves as much as their current situation allowed. He pushed back towards the living room with both of them fully baring themselves in a dark night, their only source of light from the stars and burning embers in the fireplace. Wrapped around each other, he grabbed a small box from his bag before making his way inside the bedroom. He can feel the heated face of his girlfriend buried in his neck and he pulled her head back slightly to take a look at her. His breath got caught up in his throat as he stared at her, eyes clouded and lips slightly parted as she tried to catch her breath.

He placed her on the white sheets ever so gently. Hands on either side, he gazed down at her tenderly before leaning and placing his lips softly on hers. He rolled her slowly to her chest and grazed the smooth expanse of her back with the pads of his fingers, embedding the feel of her to his senses. His lips soon followed the trail his fingers made, planting soft kisses of veneration down her skin. His heart clenched at the feeling of her in his arms.

He cradled her body carefully in his hands, silently claiming her as his as he continued planting open-mouthed kisses down her hips. His fingers exerted slight pressure at some parts of her delicate skin to remind her that she had claimed his entire being as hers too, and he would gladly give himself up to her no matter what. He kissed her ankles then rolled her again to her back gently before pulling her towards him with her legs on either side of him. He trailed warmth with his lips down her chest, grazing her stomach with his tongue, indulging himself with the sweet and salty taste of her skin.

His chest tightened as he looked up at her once again. He leaned his torso towards her and placed his forehead on hers, looking back into her amber eyes with his emerald ones.

He kissed her with all the passion he can give to her, pouring out his unspoken words to her, pouring out his forbidden promises to her and giving her his love and affection that were soon enough, will be erased from her memory again.

That night in a small humble cabin, he uttered his messages of goodbye to her, not making it past his lips but rather through the warmth he offered her.

He loved her, and he always will.

* * *

Takumi had never asked for her time as much as he did the past three days. He would always stick with her if he wanted her with him, but _never_ did he ask her to leave everything for a moment and just be with him. And this was very unnerving, because even the slightest change in his actions would reveal a larger context which pulled the strings from behind the curtains.

And what it might be, she wasn't feeling very good about.

She gripped her phone in her hand, reading the words displayed across the screen.

 _Meet me at the amusement park. Just this night give me your time._

She walked unsurely past the arch of the entrance, the amusement park almost deserted as it was a school night, and the temperature played deadly with the lower part of the scale. She watched him from afar, emerald eyes intensely stationed on hers. They were both wearing the mufflers they gave each other that Christmas night.

He smiled at her despite the pain killing him inside. He watched as her unsure eyes tried digging deeper in his facade, to watch for any motive behind this. He dug his nails into his clenched fists held inside the pockets of his coat.

Tonight will be the very last night they will be together.

Tonight, he was going to end it all.

He reached for her hand when she got to his spot, and she gingerly held it, clasping her fingers around his. "Let's go to the Ferris Wheel?"

They sat across each other in the metal cart, deafening silence engulfing every hollow corner of the whole of the small cube which housed them. He looked at her.

The three days he asked for was over.

Their time was up.

"Let's end this. Let's break up, Misaki."


	12. XII

**A/N: I've just finished a clinical rotation in the hospital and my previous weeks are filled with mothers, babies and documents. It was extremely tiring yet a fun adventure! I wasn't able to write much in the past weeks and this was something I've drafted before my rotation so I'm only able finish it now.**

 **I'd like to thank everyone who added this fic to their favorites and follows and for those who left reviews for the past chapter (which was filled with pain and heartbreak *cries*)! This fic isn't finished yet and I hope you hold on to this (and for Takumi and Misaki) until the end! Everything from this point of the story _completely_ strays from the original plot of the manga (since I haven't read past ch 61). **

**Special mention to these lovelies:** _Takumisa17, KitsunePl, Padfoot Starfyre, LisaXShun, Minniemiss123, Princessgalaxy, Seirra1567_

 **Brace yourselves.**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

"Let's end this." He looked at her, emerald eyes boring a hole into her soul. "Let's break up, Misaki."

It's as if everything stopped before her eyes. She looked back at him in initial confusion, but when the meaning of his words dawned in realization, she felt a tear slip from her eye. She put out her hand and watched as she caught a drop in time…one soon followed after another. She raised her amber eyes back at him and landed on the poorly knitted muffler she made for him that first Christmas night they officially started going out, resting around his neck. His expression was unreadable except for the small smile playing with his lips.

Takumi continuously suffered from watching the varied expressions that crossed her and he bit the inside of his cheeks from the frustration raging within him. The small smile on his face a complete opposite to the tumultuous storm raging inside him...he tried to keep it to not give away what he was actually feeling; he felt like dying, just having to turn his fear of separating from her into reality. He reminded himself that he needed to do this in order to save her. He needs to throw away this selfishness of his about spending the rest of his lifetime with her because it would actually put her life on the line...his happiness would kill her eventually. And losing her was the thing he feared the most.

It wouldn't matter having to live in agony while his existence stayed forgotten from the life of the girl he loved the most. What's important is _her_. She is _everything_ to him.

The Ferris Wheel continued its torturous speed, still moving despite her wish for everything to stop for a moment so she can accept the painful reality of the words that just came out of his mouth. She tried speaking, her lips opening up before closing them once again when barely a croak of her voice came out.

 _I love you, Ayuzawa Misaki._ He watched as she struggled to speak. A complete torture.

She tore her eyes away from him and landed her gaze outside, where snow had just started falling, white slurries coating the midnight air. The temperature further dropped and she felt her lips shivering; whether it was from the cold or the fear of their impending separation, she didn't know. Her hands reached for the end of the muffler he gave her as a present that Christmas night in a desperate attempt to hold onto a piece of reality. She felt the soft fibers tingling her numbing fingers...this was real.

She clenched her fists. This can't be happening. It can't be.

"A-are you really going to leave me again?" She steadied her gaze on the floor of the cart they were currently in. She wished the ride would stop soon...so she can run away from him right now. She didn't want to deal with this pain once again. "Are you not c-coming back anymore...like my father? Is this r-really the e-end?"

It hurt him, deeply, to be compared to her bastard of a father. But he was doing all the same right? Leaving her, when she had trusted him so much...when she had given her love to him wholeheartedly.

She heard a sound of rustling and watched as Takumi glanced at the snow continuously falling outside, elbow leaning against the glass pane. He looked perfectly calm, as if their impending separation had no effect on him.

 _I will never love again._ He turned his gaze outside in order to not betray himself. He shouldn't show her that this was actually killing him inside. He would do this for her own good. "We need to stop this foolishness, Misaki...we're still young. I have my family counting on me. I'm sure we'll have another one to love someday."

"Don't you love me anymore? Have you gotten tired of me?" Her intense gaze stayed on him, watching for any signs that might give him away...that he was lying. He was just playing, teasing her to no end like he always does, right? She desperately waited even for one damn sign...but there was none.

 _You're the only one I want to spend my waking hours with._ He nodded his head at her, eyes looking away because his pain would give him away...his pain that perfectly signifies that he still loved her, much more than ever before, that he never ever wanted to be separated from her.

She didn't want to, but it all came down to it. She begged him, "What don't you like? I'll stop punching you. I'm s-sorry I can't help it but you know how important you are to me, Takumi. I'll try to change for you. You were always the one compromising things for me. I'm sorry. I'm going to change, I promise. I won't be able to take it if you leave me again...please..."

All he wanted to do right now was drown out her senseless words and take her to his arms. She was fucking perfect, damn it. He wanted to show her that, to make her feel that. He loved all of her for who she was. She was almost begging for him...Misaki never did that. She told him he was important to her and she never really had the habit of saying it but she never failed to make him feel that whenever they were together.

It made letting her go all the more difficult now. He never wanted to let her go. But he has to. He has to. He bit the inside of his cheeks as he tried to instill in his mind what he has to do.

 _You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with._ "I'm sure you'll find it difficult to find another man nearly as perfect as myself." He gave out a chuckle. He didn't even know if it came from him because there was a choking sensation inside his throat that almost prevented him from talking, let alone produce a sound without breaking down.

Misaki has been clutching her skirt tightly, seeing the wet spot of her tears expanding on her brown sweater which had caught them. "You lied to me…"

 _There will be no other._ "People can change their mind in a blink of an eye, Misaki. I thought you'd know that." He didn't need to hurt her further than he had already had. But he still did. The more pain, the more effective the procedure will be, right? Every little thing he had said to her was like a knife piercing through him, digging deeper to inflict more damage on him more than he'd ever intended to.

 _Because you will always be the one._ "I won't leave without ending things between us properly. And now that I've said it, I don't think there's anything left for us to still stay together..."

Their cart was nearing the ground. Their relationship was nearing its end. The moment they go out of this ride, everything will be over.

Misaki had grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards her in a sudden rush. She had pressed her lips against his for a moment. As she pulled back, she looked for the love he used to have for her in his emerald eyes.

He had closed his own eyes when she had looked desperately into them, putting his hands over hers on his face and gently moving them away from him. He shook his head, eyes still closed because he can feel them slowly welling up and he wouldn't want to show her that this was breaking him into pieces. He bit down on his lip, feeling it wobble from the stinging pain inside him.

She failed to stop the tears continuously pouring their way down her face and she tugged on the muffler and necklace around her neck and threw it on the floor of the cart. "Goodbye, Takumi." Her voice choked out. She felt the pain constricting her head attack once again; she tried to push it away and as soon as the door opened, she ran out. She pushed her legs to run away from him. She pushed her legs to run away from all the pain.

Takumi looked at her moving away from him, not being able to move from his seat. "One more time." He had told the staff member controlling the ride and she nodded at him before closing the door. He watched as the cart slowly took him upwards, further away from her. His gaze stayed on her the whole time he was inside, watching her put more distance between them, the reality of their separation officially coming to life before his eyes. He watched her slow down.

Her breaths came in shallow ones, alternating with deeper ones as she tried to gasp for more air as she ran as fast as she could. The pain inside her head grew stronger and soon her chest felt as if it was about to explode anytime. Her legs were forced to kneel down as her body succumbed to the pain, her fingers found their way on her head, digging deeply into her scalp as she felt her insides forcefully being compressed. She gasped out in pain as her body slumped down on the cold, snow-ridden ground. Her vision started having black spots in them, the blackness slowly growing to occupy the whole range of her vision. She felt her fingers numbing at the lack of air.

There was something wrong. He had watched her stop before she knelt on the ground. Soon he was banging on the metal door of the cart. "LET ME OUT!"

He looked back on the glass window and saw her body, which seemed lifeless as it laid on the ground. His mind went blank; he felt as if he was going crazy. As soon as the cart reached the ground again, he pushed the door out of his way when the staff member had it opened for him and ran towards the direction Misaki went. He saw her lifeless body from afar and he pushed his legs to run faster.

When he had gotten to her, he lifted up her body to his and cradled her face in his hands. She felt deadly cold against him and he saw his vision blurring. In a frenzied moment, he had her in his arms and he was running towards the exit of the amusement park. The snow raged on, slowly increasing in amount as the ground beneath him slowly turned white. He hailed a cab as soon as he saw one passing by and he clung her body to his as he pushed them both inside.

Everything outside went in a blur as he focused on keeping her warm. Her lips turned pale and her pulse felt weak against his fingers. He wrapped the muffler around her neck and pressed his lips against her forehead, the scene before him all too familiar. "Hold on, Misaki."

"This would all end soon...until there's no more left of all the pain I've caused you."

Tonight, she was going to have him erased from her life again.

But this time, he won't be coming back.

There's no chance for them to be together again.

They will have to continue on without each other.

 _He_ will have to continue on without her.

When the cab reached the familiar white housing, he pushed himself inside, with the girl he loved almost lifeless in his arms. His knees gave out from all the things happening around him, clutching Misaki's body to his tightly, afraid to let go. He felt a presence with him and found Dr. Hajime kneeling in front of him, a distraught Akira behind her.

He clenched his jaw, fighting the tears from falling. He bit down on his lower lip.

The older woman's gentle eyes looked at him. "Are you sure about this?"

He tried to swallow down the choking sensation in his throat to speak. "Yes." It was barely audible, a mere crack in his voice as he tried to suppress the emotions inside his being.

Dr. Hajime nodded, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as she helped him up. She lead them back to the white room they stayed in just a few days ago. He placed Misaki gently on the bed, pressing his lips against hers.

One last kiss.

He laid a hand on her face and watched as a tear slip from him, grazing the smooth skin of her cheek. He run his thumb across it. Not pulling away yet, he placed his forehead against hers, closing the distance to make sure he would say it only for her for one last time.

"I will always love you, Ayuzawa Misaki."

He pulled away for a moment and gave a bow to Dr. Hajime and Akira. "I leave her to you. Please take care of her."

For the last time, he let go of her.

* * *

Feeling empty and broken inside, he walked aimlessly in the streets of Tokyo. People grazed the streets of the bright city, men and women dressed in slacks and pencil skirts passing by him in haste, students graced in uniforms laughing out loud as they crossed the white lines...a mocking reality that the world did go on while he felt that his was crumbling down before his eyes. He stopped in the middle of the streets, looking up at the large screen wherein different product advertisements played. The series of placements was halted by a live news broadcast.

Despite himself, his eyes widened in shock as his brother grazed the large screen.

"The Usuis and Walkers have always maintained good relations for years and as part of the agreement of our great-grandfathers, I am proud to announce that Usui Takumi, a man belovedly dear to our family will soon take over the Walker Corporation in my place. We hope for nothing but good things to come as we welcome this wonderful event in our lives."

Gerard Walker's icy stare matched with a cunning smile through the screen shot him a chill down his spine. The video went back to the news reporter spouting out things he didn't quite care about and a large image of his graced the whole expanse of the screen. Then he was faced with a black screen.

Previously unnoticed, he now felt the eyes of many around him; everyone seemed to stop in their tracks, the prior chaos of the streets of Tokyo fell into order as hushed whispers enveloped him. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

The name of his brother flashed across the screen.

"What are you planning?" Takumi hissed into the phone.

"Oh, just a precautionary measure dear brother. In case you broke out of your leash again."

The line went dead and his arm hung limply against his side. He looked around and found the probing eyes of everyone around him.

* * *

 **I have other clinical rotations coming up so I don't know when I'd be able to update again. However, if this fic gets past maybe idk 85 reviews (I can wish right? haha) , it will REALLY pressure me to finish up the next one and update sooner haha! More to come about the whole Walker fiasco next chapter!**


	13. XIII

**A/N: I'm sorry for making you wait longer for this chapter! :( I made this longer to make up for the wait. I really really would like to thank you all for taking the time to leave reviews for the last chapter...it was the most reviewed chapter to date for this fanfic and thank you so so so much for that! I've sent private messages of thanks to those with accounts and the following are for those who were not logged in/anonymous/guests:**

 _Guest: I can't believe you said that. It really touched me! Thank you so much for the kind words :)_

 _LisaXShun: I've punished these two so much, eh? Thank you for the lovely reviews you've left not only for the past chapter but also to the previous ones before! Really appreciate them!_

 _sona: Thank you! I tried to make this chapter worth the read :)_

 _Minniemiss123: You, my friend, are the BEST! You never missed a single chapter and leaving a review for each and every one of them. Hearing from you after uploading the chapter makes me happy and I really hope you have an account so I can talk to you personally because I realllly love you. *hugs you tightly*_

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _Takumisa17, seirra 1567, mikanlove, djohagan, adriana ayuzawa, KitsunePl, Guest, Padfoot Starfyre, LisaXShun, sona, Minniemiss123, Lmizutani, Samara16, a cup of insanity_

 **Added thanks for the favorites and follows!**

 **Brace yourselves.**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

只今

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

The days after were the most trying times...having to deal with the absence and emptiness in his life after he had let her go. It was hard, trying not to dwell in the visions of her beside him, cursing out loud as she punched him in embarrassment...memories of her dressed in his button-up shirt in his kitchen from when she finally sliced some bunny apples successfully under his most needed supervision...her smell which tainted every corner of his apartment. It was hard, trying to deal with the reality that they were no longer together and having to survive it.

He had thought at first that maybe he could manage through the pain as he had dealt with their separation before...but this, this was living in agonizing hell. He had a taste of happiness of being with her again and he had the hopes of living his lifetime with her, had all the possibilities running in his head; maybe they could manage to be together again without any repercussions or having to deal with his family. It was all hopes and dreams with her when he was able to have her back that night when they made love; they were wistful thinking...but he was alive, lit up by her ever beautiful soul every time she touched him.

He had loved her all the more when he had her back, and thus now, he was hurting all the more. The pain was increasingly excruciating...and a lot of regrets and self-blamings came with it.

But out of everything that's happening with him, waking up became the hardest thing to do; it was even harder than just trying to forget and push through with everything.

Takumi's eyes shot open in the dark. He made it a point to set an alarm before he slept but he always managed to wake up way before the alarm even sounded. His head was pounding, probably from the dire lack of sleep for the past few days. When the clock strikes midnight, he would always try to close his eyes and force himself to slumber, but somewhere at the back of his mind, he was just waiting for the knock on his door; he was just waiting for her to appear again in his life; he was just waiting for himself to open the door to her and look at those beautiful amber eyes.

He was just waiting for his home to return.

Sometimes, his mind would be creating sounds that would resemble to that of someone knocking, maybe for his desperation for it to come true. There were nights when he would just run to the door and open it, only to find no one at the other side.

He sat up from the futon and heard the sound of something crunching beneath him; he had fallen asleep on a picture. His eyes widened and guilt immediately shot through him as he retrieved the photo from beneath the blankets, the corners of the film slightly crumpled. Amber eyes and flushing cheeks stared back at him, her mouth upturned into a wide smile as she pointed at something not seen in the photo. He tried to straighten the corners in haste, his trembling fingers smoothing the crumpled edges. The wobble in his lower lip hadn't gone unnoticed and he bit it down to stop himself.

"I miss you."

It was probably the only thing that made it past his lips in the dark containment of his apartment for days now. His gaze landed on the wide expanse of the floor-to-ceiling windows and watched as the colors of orange, red and yellow slowly seeped through the dark sky. The darkness was soon overcome and the bright rays of the sun slowly showed themselves from behind the clouds.

His hand felt for the empty space on the futon beside him and his fingers gripped the white sheets tightly.

"The sun had just started to rise, Misaki."

Maybe it was the reason he had always managed to wake up at this time.

The sun may not have shone as bright as her, but it was a reminder that he once had her in his life...and it was enough to put a momentary calm in his aching heart.

* * *

His footsteps echoed throughout the winding hallways, finding himself threading towards the familiar path he had taken everyday to get some peace and quiet for himself...away from the resounding whispers in the classroom about the ruckus his bastard of a brother had caused. It hadn't failed in being able to grace the front page of different newspapers and magazines, including the most prestigious Tokyo Times, ever since TBS had broadcasted the grand news.

Days have passed since that unfortunate event and the news of him being the next in line to be the CEO of Walker Corporation still hasn't died down. It was beginning to get in his nerves, people just couldn't mind their own business. It was annoying, that he suddenly became the center of attention in this godforsaken school.

It wasn't any different actually. When he first stepped into the grand academy of Miyabigaoka, an educational institution for different heirs and heiresses to different corporations of household names across not only in Japan, but worldwide, women from different years had their eyes on him. With his outrageously good looks of blonde hair, emerald eyes and a to-die-for smirk and his height of almost six feet tall, it was no denying that this man with a mix of Western and Japanese heritage, was a gift to mankind. What annoyed him the most is that the attracted attention was no longer focused on his looks, but rather regarding his relations to the Walker Family. He had learned how to deal with the former kind of attention...the latter one he has yet to.

It turned out that there were already ongoing rumors of his sudden inheritance of the family corporation and his illegitimacy back in England, a fateful event which arose much earlier than the planned announcement of his debut as the replacement of his half-brother. And being the great Walker Family who should _always_ display a spotless image to the public, they were forced to confirm the rumors of his inheritance soonafter, purposely excluding his illegitimacy but rather making it look like that he was next in line because the Walkers had very good relations with the Usuis, that go all the way back from when their forefathers had an agreement they must come to respect. It was a perfectly made up lie, and no one would probably find out the truth unless they dig into the secrets within the family that would reveal the document of the alliance between the Walkers and Usuis...which is nothing but a farce.

He had to give it to them, for staying composed like that despite an issue that surely must have threatened their well-maintained image. Though the Walkers were finally acknowledging him, the truth of his past was still seen as a shame to the family name, his whole being still rejected from the inclusivity of the grand bloodline.

He was, no doubt, a fool for throwing his whole world away just to serve some rich elders who could care less about him; but it was the life of his love that was on the line, and he was willing to sacrifice his happiness to save her from his rotten supposed family.

"Where might you be going, Usui?"

Hands inside his pockets, Takumi turned back nonchalantly, a blank look on his face with his brow raised.

Igarashi.

"How are you? Being the talk of the entire country and all that. I was able to catch up with the ruckus your brother had caused last time I watched the news." There was a certain glint sparkling inside his bright eyes and it annoyed Takumi down to his core he had to resist rolling his eyes at the man before him.

He was about to turn away again, knowing better than to give in to Igarashi Tora's taunting. But the devil just knew how to play with his temper.

"I thought you were smarter than trying to get back with Ayuzawa Misaki again."

Takumi stopped dead in his tracks, his intention of finding tranquility away from the damned school for a moment now gone. He took a deep breath, jaw clenching before he turned to Tora again. "I've warned you before and I'm warning you again now...don't even try to touch her." He spitted the words out with venom, emerald eyes burning despite the stonecold face he displayed.

Tora's boisterous laughter echoed throughout the empty hall. He slapped his hand on his forehead, eyes filling with tears as he mocked Takumi. "Woah...someone's being really possessive. And what right do you have to say that? You left her for good right?"

 _How could he know that?_

"Despite yourself, you're actually pretty readable, Usui." The glint of arrogance in Tora's eyes stared right back at Takumi, waiting for any reaction to satisfy him.

Attempting to push the annoyance away and keep to what little patience he has left, Takumi rounded the corner with a mask of aloofness on his face...but deep down he just wanted to punch the daylights out of Igarashi Tora. He was never one to resort to violence but Miyabigaoka's Student Council President had taken it to one of his achievements to annoy Usui Takumi to that extreme. He rolled the thought in his head considerably...punching the damn bastard would probably fire him up more knowing that he was able to get into his nerves.

He opened the door to the fire escape and pushed himself inside before plopping down on the bottommost step and leaning his entire frame on the cement wall, overlooking the sky that was shown through the open facade of the escape. This was enough for him, but he liked the rooftop of Seika High much better because of the cool breeze that would often envelope the wide area, and most especially because it was where he spent some of his precious moments with Misaki. His mind briefly skimmed over the memory of when he first kissed her right after confessing to her...but the fondness was soon replaced with a sad smile that fell upon his face.

He had to settle in this place because Miyabigaoka's rooftop was inaccessible to students, and this was what he could only find to get some peace away from the academy.

At the sound of the creak of the door, he groaned audibly, fully knowing that Igarashi Tora wasn't over with him yet. Tora passed him by, arrogantly making his steps down the stairs then leaning on the railings that lined the open facade of the escape. He caught sight of the cigarette the boy had emerged from his pocket, together with a lighter.

"I badly needed a smoke," Tora offered lamely before popping the lit cigarette between his lips. He sucked in for a moment and pulled the stick from his mouth with his fingers, huffing out a thick puff of grayish white smoke from his pursed lips.

Igarashi hadn't always talked to him, lest from the times he had probably nothing to do so he took it upon himself to mock Takumi throughout his year in Miyabigaoka. They were brief encounters...and this was probably the longest time they had spent in each other's presence.

"Maybe I should play some game with her again, now that you're completely gone from her-"

Not being able to finish what he was saying, a punch landed straight across his jaw, causing an imbalance in the president and he stumbled to the side and would have completely fallen on the floor if he weren't able to grab hold of the railings. The cigarette flew out of his mouth and Takumi crushed the burning stick under his foot.

Takumi grabbed hold of the collar of his black button up shirt, easily lifting up Igarashi to look at him face to face. "I could crush your face if you attempt to do _that_ again to her...you won't even be able to recognize yourself in front of the mirror," Takumi spat out through gritted teeth.

Tora's eyes were alive and a boisterous laughter once again emanated from his mouth. Blood was trickling down from the corner of his lip, which was split from the crushing pressure of contact with his jaw...but it didn't even matter because the sight of Usui Takumi seething in anger in front of him was not to be missed. It was very rare to get to see him like that and it provided him great satisfaction.

Tora's hands pushed against him to release his shirt from Takumi's iron grip. The latter abruptly let go and once again, he was stumbling on the floor. The metallic taste of blood was seeping through his mouth and he spit out the blood to remove the awful sensation. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

Takumi had turned his back against him, ready to escape once again from the irritant that was Igarashi. He ascended the steps and pulled the door to push himself out of the fire escape.

The blank look on Tora's face was back, lest for the slightly frown that marred his face for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he turned his body towards the skies before him.

He couldn't have his way with the only woman who had managed to take hold of his interest, and despisingly his heart. He tried to, but that Ayuzawa loved Usui Takumi too much and he can see it in her eyes, when she made constant visits to him to get some answers throughout the entire year Usui had gone into hiding inside Miyabigaoka. It hurt his pride, knowing that he never stood a chance against him and probably the only way to console his ego was to bring more hell into Usui's life.

Damn it, why is it that they have to fall for the same stupid woman?

* * *

Making his way back to the room to get his things, Takumi was surprised to see Kanade waiting by the door. The room was almost empty as the school bell had rung over half an hour ago to signal the end of the day. The latter, whose eyes continued searching, halted when he caught sight of the blonde.

"Usui-san, I was looking for you."

Takumi raised a brow at this. "What for?"

"A girl by the name of Ayuzawa Suzuna has been waiting by the entrance gates for about an hour now. She told me she was looking for you."

There was an instinctive sense of urgency which immediately flooded his system as he grabbed his things before making his way through the winding hallways. He muttered a quick "thank you" to Kanade as he passed him by before descending the grand staircase of the academy. He pushed his way through the thick throng of students scattered across the main hall before he was able to get through to the large floor-to-ceiling double oak doors of Miyabigaoka.

He caught sight of the raven hair much similar to Misaki's and from afar he could see the look of despair in Ayuzawa Suzuna's eyes. He gulped down the choking sensation making its way up his throat as he neared her.

 _There's nothing wrong. Misaki's fine. She forgot about him already days ago and her sister was here just to remind him of the precautions._

 _Misaki's fine._

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" He tried to compose himself but ended up bombarding her with questions when he got to her, and if he weren't able to control himself any further, he would have shaken the sanity of the young girl to calm himself down.

Fear and anxiety clouded the girl's eyes, and they started to well up.

"Onee-chan still hasn't awaken."

* * *

He was deeply afraid of what he was about to see when he pushed the glass doors of the clinic. This place has inflicted a deep fear in him, and once again he was making his way inside, following Suzuna across the hallway.

Nothing good ever happens here.

He felt the cold chill of the glum atmosphere of the clinic. It was dark by the entrance and the only source of light was from the waiting room about a few feet from the glass doors. He stopped walking for a moment, his legs suddenly frozen from the fear of the impending. He can feel the warmth leaving his body, hands growing cold. Suzuna had already gone inside the room, the door was left open for him to enter but it seemed as if he wanted to turn back and leave. There was a churning motion inside his stomach and he tried to fight the urge to give in to his fear.

He brought his emerald eyes up and at that moment, he met the eyes of Dr. Hajime, who stood by the wooden table inside. She shook her head, face pulled down in sincere empathy and Takumi could feel the air being knocked out of his lungs.

He dragged his feet inside and stood beside the aged woman for a moment, dreading the deadly silence that engulfed the dimly lit room. He had been holding his breath the entire time. Through the glass, he could see Hyoudou Satsuki, her nephew Aoi, Hanazono Sakura and Kaga Shizuko at her bedside, together with a dazed Suzuna at the other side.

"The trauma induced on her brain by the recurring headaches proved to have great damage on her. I expected her to wake up two days ago but it's been too long." Dr. Hajime's voice was almost a resounding echo to his ears, and he struggled to understand most of the words she uttered out for his eyes stayed focused on his love.

Her skin was deadly pale, and those amber eyes he kept on looking for for the past nights were secluded from the world. Her cheeks where his fingers love grazing on were showing contours that were never there before, her lips whose taste he can never get tired of were nowhere near the rosy color they always had. Though he let her go, it was only now that he felt that she was truly slipping away from him...to another world where he might not see her again.

His feet slowly took him inside the adjacent room, his knuckles gently pushing the door to reveal himself to the people inside. The latter had their eyes open wider at the man who showed himself to them, after more than a year of his absence. Satsuki had her hand cover her gaping mouth with her nephew clenching his fists at his side in repressed emotions, somewhat a mixture of anger and frustration maybe from seeing Usui Takumi again after he had left Misaki or from being helpless about the state Misaki was put in...or maybe it could be both. Sakura and Shizuko stood unmoving at the side, the latter much composed in masking her surprise than the former.

Takumi had nodded his head towards them in acknowledgement and slowly made his way to Misaki's side. The people residing the white room prior to him had backed away, quite unsurely, for a moment to give him some time to take in the sight in front of him.

It felt surreal, to be able to finally see her again. He had longed for her so much.

The oxygen mask was once again placed on her beautiful face but this time, there were more tubes and lines connected to her. His eyes grazed the small screen at her bedside table which monitored her vital signs and he gulped down, willing himself to think that the lines would never turn straight and that then she would have to leave him...forever.

His nimble fingers shakily intertwined themselves to her cold fingers, his other hand grazing the delicate skin of her face. Even when he had her in his arms again, his heart still ached. Could he still see her? Would he get to hear her wonderful laugh ring in his ears again? Would he still get to feel her lips against his?

He tried to stop himself from breaking down. His eyes welled up and he leaned towards her, lips grazing her forehead as he whispered the words desperately.

"Wake up, Misaki."

* * *

Misaki's eyes shot open and immediately, she felt the pain shooting through the back of her neck. Her head rose from the wooden surface of her table in the Student Council Room. It was her instincts acting up and her gaze darted across the room as she looked for him. Her eyes desperately tried to find him, his blonde locks and those emerald eyes she loved so dearly.

She pushed away from the table in mad haste her chair toppled down behind her. Feet shuffling across the floor, she pushed aside the doors and found Yukimura standing right outside, a thick pile of papers resting on his arms. The green-haired boy's eyes widened in startlement as he looked at the president looking frantic.

"Is there something wrong, Pr-"

"Where's Takumi?"

Her chest heaved in panic at his absence. He was always there beside her; he promised that he would be there when she wakes up. Did he leave again?

"What are you talking about, President?"

Misaki stuttered out her words in realization of just having called him by his first name. She remembered that their relationship was still hidden from Seika High and she stupidly revealed her secret to her trusted right-hand man by revealing the intimacy between them. "I m-mean U-usui, where is he?"

Yukimura looked at her as if she's grown another head. His right eyebrow rose up in confusion and he pursed his lips, in deep thought.

"I don't know who you're talking about. I'm sorry President!" He bowed to her in haste and excused himself before going past her and into the Student Council Room.

 _What?_

Her eyes desperately searched around and she ran through the hallways, not minding that she was breaking the rules that she had set for the entire student body. She caught sight of a pink-haired girl together with a short-haired girl...Sakura and Shizuko. They must have seen him. They have to.

Something might happen to him if she wasn't able to find him as soon as possible.

"Sakura, Shizuko!" she yelled after them, pushing her legs to run faster to reach them. The two girls looked behind them and found their friend running towards them in haste. They stopped in their tracks.

"MISAKI!" Sakura shrilled, throwing her arms around Misaki in happiness of seeing her. Shizuko neared them and placed a hand on Misaki's shoulder, offering a warm smile to her. Misaki tried to push out a smile for her friends...but she has more important things to do right now.

"Have you seen Takumi?"

The two girls looked at her in obvious confusion. "Who?" they uttered out in unison. Sakura had a finger placed on her chin as she racked her mind for answers while Shizuko pushed her glasses up her nose.

"Usui Takumi. He left without telling me!" Misaki exasperated. She had no time playing games with anyone right now, and it was starting to get on her nerves that everyone's pretending that they have no idea about who the alien was.

"Are you alright, Misaki?" Shizuko offered gently, placing a concerned touch on her shoulder.

"Of course I am! Not you too! You don't have to lie to me about not knowing him! That pervert's always at the top of the exam scores list, see?!" Misaki motioned her hand towards the bulletin board where the scores are posted. Her eyes roamed to the 1st placer in search of his name but was deeply shocked when she found her own name at the top position.

"You've always placed first ever since, Misaki! Stop fooling around!" Sakura laughed nervously as she slapped a hand on her friend's shoulder. It was creeping the pink-haired girl out for her friend to be spouting out odd things right now...and it was Misaki they're talking about.

"N-no! Takumi...You know him! You even had a crush on him then, Sakura! Stop playing games with me!"

"Misaki!" Sakura yelled, trying to calm down her mess of a friend in front of her, sanity seeming to be slowly slipping away, "I'd help you, if only I know him. But really, I'm being honest here...I told you I've no idea about who that person is. So calm down for a moment, you must be imagining things…"

Misaki shook her head, trying to push their words away.

 _What's happening?_

Her eyes lit up at an idea that spun around in her head. The rooftop! He must surely be there like he'd always be when he's not around. She pushed through her friends in haste, longing to find those emerald eyes of his as she ran through the hallways to the stairs that lead to the rooftop. She pushed the door open and threw her body into the wide open space.

She looked around, eyes frantic once again to even get a glimpse of his blonde locks.

" _Wake up, Misaki."_

That was his voice. It was clearly his voice! She had every inch of him engraved in her mind, it was impossible to mistake another person for him.

"Takumi?!" she spun around, heart hammering against her chest in anxiety, but found no one behind her but the empty expanse of the rooftop.

Her breath started coming up in heavy and irregular intervals. She clenched her fists, feeling her nails digging into her skin at the frustration of his apparent absence.

"Where are you?"

Her vision started blurring, tears welling up in her eyes. "Where are you, damn it!"

* * *

 **I'll try to make the wait for the next one shorter. By then, can you help this fanfic get past 100 reviews? :)**

* * *

 ** _Chapter XIV_**

 ** _Preview_**

She pulled the tape from the series placed in the drawer, grasping it in her hands with the label concealed from Takumi. "My instincts tell me you should know about this, just in case."

Akira slowly reached out her hands to him, offering the tape for his keeping. His fists clenched inside his pockets in reflex, before he put out a hand to get the tape. He flipped it to get a view on its top surface.

His breath hitched in his throat, and he could have gone breathless for an entire minute if his system hadn't kicked in and his survival instincts resurfaced. His fingers clasped tightly around the plastic object, almost crushing it in his hand. His eyes wide open, tried to reconfirm what he first saw...the name on the label didn't change.

"This was from years ago."


	14. XIV

**A/N: A lot of things happened and the two weeks that passed caught me in a storm! I had the most memorable clinical rotation in the hospital yet and had been juggling musical rehearsals at night. I hope your days were as enjoyable as it was for me! I'm surprised to see this fanfic almost reaching 100 reviews and couldn't be any happier! Thank you so so so much for taking the time to leave a bit of your thoughts for this little fic. I had a lot of things planned for this story and I hope for your patience huhu**

 **Changed the kanji writing of tadaima into hiragana for universality upon suggestion. I looked it up and found that the previous one just means the same but I think using this one's better for clarity. I'm not properly educated regarding Japanese literature so thank you for the anonymous reviewer for suggesting it! I'm very open to suggestions and comments. :)**

 **To Minniemiss123: Can I talk to you through e-mail? My ig account is useless, sadly huhu. I have my e-mail account in my profile! :)**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _KitsunePl, Takumisa17, Lmizutani, Padfoot Starfyre, adriana ayuzawa, Samara16, djhogan, Minniemiss123, seirra 1567, Guest, mikanlove_

 **Added thanks for the favorites and follows!**

 **Brace yourselves.**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

ただいま

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

" _Her brain has slipped into a state of comatose. It's common for patients who suffered from severe head trauma...a form of activity in which the brain undergoes repair from the damages it suffered."_

 _The elder woman, whose eyes revealed only of their grim reality, steadied her gaze at the young man in front of her, who had been reduced into an unmoving entity. Too many times already had he shut his eyes tightly, as if willing himself to awaken._

 _Unfortunately, this was reality. And he couldn't wake up from it._

" _It's been three days since you've brought her here...three days since she's been asleep. Yes, her body is in recuperation from the damages of her head trauma but regarding the duration of the period of recuperation, I do not have an answer to. She may wake up tomorrow, or in the succeeding days after that…" Dr. Hajime placed a tight grip on his forearm. "Or she may not wake up at all."_

The words echoed in his mind repeatedly, and he had found it hard to think of anything else aside from that. It was destroying him slowly, a darkness threatening of death in every surface it touched. He was almost going crazy from thinking about it, he felt like shouting to the deepest depths of the earth just to let out his pent-up frustration from everything.

Why did this have to happen?

All he had to do was deal with the pain of being separated from her. It was what he had been readying himself for, during the last three days he spent with her. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready about the possibility of losing her forever and watching her fade away piece by piece before him.

He heaved out a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Everyone had already left, deciding to rest for the night with the wistful thinking that they would get to see her already awake by the time they come back. Everyone had left...but he stayed.

Takumi rested his head on the white sheets of the bed as he looked at her face intently, his hand tightly clasping her cold one, willing her to wake up. The room was quiet lest the beeping sound that came from the monitor beside him, and the tumultuous storm of thoughts that was currently raging inside his head. He was afraid...so afraid at her mostly lifeless form in front of him; he wanted to run away from it because he was almost sure that this wasn't her, his mind denied that this was her. This lifeless girl in front of him wasn't his love, who was able to bring his soul to life with just a touch of her hand...give him a slice of heaven with just a smile from her.

But even then, he fought hard with these thoughts because he needed to stay with her, he needed to hold on for her. She needed him now more than anything. He wasn't ready to lose her.

Not now. Not ever.

Life would be pointless if the only thing you lived for let go.

"Don't leave me, Misaki." He heard his own voice broke and he had to swallow past the agony that was threatening to make its way up his throat. He held her hand tighter and brought it to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the pale surface of her skin.

He drifted off to sleep on the chair at her bedside, head nuzzled to her hand. Though he was by her side again, the feeling of being home wasn't there...because he wasn't able to share it with her. If this was what it would take to be able to see her again, he'd much rather not to; just the sight of her in this state was enough to kill him a thousand times.

He would gladly trade anything just for her to wake up again.

* * *

"Usui-kun."

Suzuna slightly nudged the man before her, who looked so distraught as he held her sister's hand tightly during his slumber. The sight in front of her seemed to hit her with a sharp pang. She never really got to see how intimate her sister was with him, but she could see just how much they love each other whenever he would visit their house and join them for dinner. He would always tease her sister, and they would end up bickering...but it could clearly be seen from both of their eyes. Even her mother knew, when she exchanged knowing glances with her.

Her sister, who had locked hatred and distrust towards men in her heart was showing her utterly genuine side to Usui Takumi and Suzuna could see how love just managed to change her sister gradually. She was happy for the both of them.

But a lot of things could surely change in the span of a year.

And their relationship was a testament to that.

"Clean up. You wouldn't want my sister to see you in that state when she wakes up, right?" She tried to give him a smile, but both knew that the misery was too much to even give some genuinity in lightening up. He gave a fleeting look at Misaki, berating himself before resigning with a heavy sigh as he ran his fingers through his locks.

Suzuna watched as he stood up slowly and kissed her sister's forehead, whispering something she wasn't able to hear before he turned to her to give her a nod.

"I'll be back." He made his way out the door.

Lots of things have changed...but she knew that what they both wanted right now was all the same.

* * *

He was dreading his way throughout the entire train ride...but it was not the emptiness of his apartment that welcomed him back. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him, rather at the lone figure sitting on his couch.

"Why are you here?" His fists instinctively clenched inside his pockets; seeing him again only means trouble, Gerard must have had an inkling of what he has been up to lately to send his most trusted man to him to keep an eye on things. It was too good to be true to believe that his brother would leave him alone after the ruckus he had caused, with that outrageous announcement he made in front of practically the entire world.

Cedric rose up from the black couch, straightening up before taking a bow in front of Takumi. Not a strand of hair fell out of place from the motion, his stance so rigid which only made Takumi a bit more anxious. Last time he was here, he saw it as his sole mission to make sure the two stay separated. That was more than a year ago, yet the young man remembered every little detail about his brother's personal butler, probably from all those days he never ceased to leave his side.

"Good day, Takumi-sama."

Takumi could feel the caution laced with the older man's words. Emerald eyes met with blue eyes in an intense gaze, and for a moment no one spoke, waiting for the other to speak up.

The older man proved to be the one with more courage, taking it to himself to break the silence first. "I came here with a warning and to confirm Gerard-sama's suspicions. He was indeed correct after all. I think you know just how much more danger you've put her through by coming upon this decision of yours."

Takumi was taken aback at the man's words. He was almost sure that there was no way they would find out...throughout his last days with Misaki he made sure to be careful in his movements to avoid the eyes of his family. Just how did Cedric find out about him and Misaki?

"I've already let her go. Isn't that enough for you all?" His irritation was evident in his voice. The Walkers already has him in their grasps tightly and he had caused a lot of pain to the only girl he ever loved just so he could get her away from them.

"Is that so? I believe that things between you and that girl aren't finished yet. Things would have gone smoothly if you had let her be." Though his face was contorted into control, Cedric's eyes weren't; and the edge in his tone were to add to that.

"Trust me when I say you don't know what the Walkers are truly capable of."

The older man straightened himself up again, though it was not a necessity seeing that his entirety was still as neat as before. "I would just like to remind you that you are to return to England after you graduate from Miyabigaoka High. You have a month until then."

For a moment, Cedric flashed him a look...one that held something behind it. It was not merely a reminder of his planned return, but a warning he knew all too well.

He took a bow again in front of the young man.

"My work here is done. I'll be going back to England to stay by Gerard-sama's side...monitoring his recuperation is of my utmost priority."

He left Takumi abruptly, closing the door behind him. The boy would have followed Cedric and instigated further to get more answers from the butler; but he knew better. The only expression of the mess of his thoughts was the frown that crossed his face for a mere second.

He took a seat on his couch for a moment, to calm himself down. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, something he did far too many times now, when he caught sight of the box which contained Misaki's belongings she used in the procedure. He was sure he left a mess on his coffee table; he remembered having photos of her scattered on the glass surface. Now, it seemed as if it was unscathed, the box neatly placed at the side with no scattered photos in sight.

His hands made haste movement to reach for the box and he found the photos neatly placed inside, together with the digital camera and the tape.

* * *

Behind the door, Cedric stood still with his hand still placed on the doorknob. The man who seemed to master the art of putting up a face to mask his emotions was deeply shaken. He was in deep thought trying to recapture in his mind the box that was carelessly thrown on the coffee table.

Despite the years that have passed, he still remembered just what it was intended for...clearly.

His conscience wouldn't let him forget about it.

* * *

Takumi was feeling a bit better, with having taken a shower and changing out of his uniform - which would at most times be suffocating. It reminded him too often just about everything he had to give up in life.

The train ride was bustling; it was a busy Saturday afternoon, people had taken it to themselves to spend some time in the city. He was dreading just having to go back to Tokyo, because he would get to see her weakly form once again...it killed him, having to take in the sight of her almost white lips and the bones protruding from her wrists and shoulders, much more than before.

He finally arrived, standing in front of the glass doors. His fingers gripped the metal handles for a moment, preparing himself, before pushing inside. There was a client in the waiting area...surely the clinic must continue its operation even though the love of his life was on the brink of death. It got him frustrated - the world was acting as if everything's fine when all he wanted was to scream out in desperation to bring his love back.

Akira had caught him standing still by the hallways, and she looked over briefly towards the patient waiting by the chairs situated around the room. She gulped down nervously before she gingerly motioned for him to come. Takumi raised his brows for a moment in confusion before he carefully made his way to the waiting area.

"Wait here for a moment...I have something I think I need to show you," she told him in a low voice before turning to the side, "Kimura-san? I'll show you to Dr. Hajime's office."

The woman slowly stood up from her seat as her name was called, eyes looking so solemn as she cradled a small box in her hands. Akira led the way to the familiar path to Dr. Hajime's office.

Takumi waited by the table, tapping his fingers nervously across the wooden surface. His heart was beating slightly faster than normal…he wasn't feeling very good about this. Cedric's appearance still left an unnerving feeling within him. There was an intense silence in the room before he heard the footsteps. Akira appeared by the doorway looking so pale as if anytime now she might faint. She motioned her head towards him.

They made their way towards the basement, descending the narrow steps before the rows of shelves appeared before him. Akira made her way to the metal drawers at the side, stopping at the furthest one with Takumi in tow.

 _W-Z_

The tremble in her fingers hadn't gone unnoticed by Takumi's sharp eyes as she opened the top drawer. Her hand slid through the tapes for a moment before stopping at one side. Takumi gulped down the choking sensation in his throat from nervous anticipation.

"I saw the news days ago," Akira muttered almost inaudibly, "I don't know really know why...I've broken quite a few rules already just by showing you what's in this basement but I can't keep away the nagging feeling inside me."

She pulled the tape from the series placed in the drawer, grasping it in her hands with the label concealed from Takumi. "My instincts tell me you should know about this, just in case."

Akira slowly reached out her hands to him, offering the tape for his keeping. His fists clenched inside his pockets in reflex, before he put out a hand to get the tape. He flipped the tape to get a view on its top surface.

 _Gerard Walker_

His breath hitched in his throat, and he could have gone breathless for an entire minute if his system hadn't kicked in and his survival instincts resurfaced. His fingers clasped tightly around the plastic object, almost crushing it in his hand. His eyes wide open, tried to reconfirm what he first saw...the name on the label didn't change.

"This was from years ago."

A suffocating silence engulfed the entirety of the dimly-lit basement before the thundering sounds of footsteps echoed from afar.

"She's woken up! Akira-san!"

He felt his breath got caught up in his throat, his eyes widened in shock as his grasp on the tape tightened before pocketing it. With one fleeting look at Akira, he turned his attention to direction of Suzuna's voice.

Adrenaline pumping through his veins, he pushed his legs up the flight of stairs and through the white halls. Everything around him started blurring, his emerald eyes set to seeing only those amber eyes that he missed so much.


	15. XV

**A/N: I didn't mean to leave this fanfic for a while. I was kept busy day through night with clinical rotations both in the hospital and health centers, I barely got any sleep. I was actually shocked to come back here and find out I haven't updated for A MONTH?! Anyway, I got a bit of time on my hands now and I've used it for going back to writing; I'm actually happy to be back! Things have taken a sharp turn in this little fic and I hope you can hold on for more! I missed you guys and I really am grateful for the reviews, favorites and follows!**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _Minniemiss123, Takumisa17, mikanlove, ArrowBee, Lmizutani, seirra 1567, Padfoot Starfyre, Samara16, Guest, shoga, KitsunePI_

 **Do leave some thoughts in your reviews! I really appreciate them :)**

 **Brace yourselves.**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

ただいま

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

Her eyes shot open and the blinding lights of the room welcomed her. Everything was hazy, only the color of white occupying her sight with some blots of color gradually appearing here and there. But she can recognize nothing.

There was the sound of muffled voices in the background and something that feels like a soft yet gripping touch on her arm. She wasn't quite sure; she felt as if she was trapped inside a bubble and the sensations of everything around her seemed to be from a great distance.

Her head feels woozy and she felt the lids of her eyes drooping heavily, encouraging her to go back to dreamland again; she tried to stop it and kept herself awake though barely. She didn't want to go back to that world again, where he didn't seem to exist. She knew it wasn't true, she knew it was a transient world that doesn't exist and that it was just her previous nightmares coming back to her. She heard his voice, she remembered.

" _Wake up, Misaki."_

It seemed as if there was a jolt of electricity that shot through her, and her eyes widened at the memory of the voice that resurfaced inside her head.

Where was he?

Despite the dull ache that has settled in her body screaming for her to rest and go back to wherever dreamland she was beforehand, she willed herself to sharpen her senses...to wake herself up to the reality she wanted to believe in.

To the reality where Usui Takumi exists.

The reality where she could live because she has him with her.

Muffled sounds became clearer to her ears, the blinding lights fading out to normalcy as her eyes started scanning her surroundings. Behind the pulsating pain in her head, she can recognize the room...and the recognition only brought her horror.

Being here only meant something terrible happened.

Just then, everything flashed before her eyes.

The amusement park.

Ferris Wheel.

Their separation.

" _Let's break up, Misaki. Let's end this."_

It seemed as if the air was knocked out of her lungs and she gasped out for air. The oxygen mask she felt placed on her face wasn't helping and she moved it aside, her arms pushing herself up from the bed to wake herself up more.

Where was he?

She felt a tightening grip on her arm and she looked to her side only to find her sister at her bedside, with Dr. Hajime standing behind her, an expression of obvious relief on her face.

"W-where…" the hoarseness in her voice took over and for a moment she can only mutter a word without feeling the pain of gritting her dry vocal cords. Suzuna rushed to the table and gave her a bottle of water. She opened it and guided it to her older sister's lips, the latter gulping down harshly to relieve the dryness in her throat. She cleared her throat and tried speaking again.

"W-where's Ta-takumi?" Getting the two words out was difficult enough. Misaki watched as her sister's eyes softened, Dr. Hajime's relieved face shifting into grave anxiety.

 _Why?_

"What happened?" Not even a bit of her voice came out, rather it was harsh rush of air out of her throat. What's happening to her? Why does it feel like there was a crushing weight placed upon her and the weakness she was feeling was slowly overpowering her?

All she can remember was him muttering the words of their separation...and falling to the snow-covered ground.

The numbing pain in her head emerged again, and her hands made haste movement to clutch her head in them, fingers digging into her scalp to try and ease the ache. She gritted her jaw as her body slowly crumbled to the pain.

" _Let's break up, Misaki. Let's end this."_

The memories flashed through her head like ice cold water burning her skin. For a moment, she thought the pain would never end, but the gentle touch on her arm somehow awakened her from the trance and soon the pain died down.

Her hands retreated from her head and she looked up, only to find Dr. Hajime's sorrow replaced by the small smile that now occupies her lips. The older woman ran a hand down her raven hair, gently caressing the silky strands as she used to remember her mother always did when she was a child...when she would be hurting and only a mother's touch could heal the pain.

"Ayuzawa-san, I have to tell you something important and you have to listen to me." Dr. Hajime leaned down and leveled her line of sight with Misaki's. "Remember the procedure we did months ago?"

Misaki nodded her head slowly and quite unsurely, "Yes, I do." She had a feeling in her gut that it has something to do with her being in this place again.

"Are you saying…" she gulped down and watched as Dr. Hajime waited for her response, though it seemed she knew anyway. Her amber eyes opened up in protest and she gripped the sheets beneath her to steady herself. "What are you talking about, Hajime-sensei?"

The older woman placed her hands on Misaki's shoulders, willing the girl to listen to her first before anything else. She knew it was going to be difficult to impart this to her but it was of utmost importance and urgency. "Look Ayuzawa-san, you went through the Selective Memory Erasing Procedure with the purpose of having Usui Takumi erased from your mind...and the premise of my procedure is that for you to not have contact with him ever again and for him to stay nonexistent in your memories."

Misaki's mouth stayed agape, the words of Dr. Hajime echoing repeatedly in the void in her head.

"We talked about how vital these rules were...and if these were broken, it will only do you no good," The older woman's ash grey eyes burned through her amber ones. "These headaches you've been feeling were telltale signs of the danger you've put yourself through. You've just woken up from being asleep for three days-"

 _Three days?_ Misaki's eyes shot up to the older woman and she was rendered speechless for a moment. She was asleep for three days? Understanding of the current state of weakness of her body finally hit her...but the worry in her system only grew as she wondered about what the future may hold for her.

And even without telling, Dr. Hajime just had the answer to her questions.

"There was even no certainty that you would wake up again...and we were deeply relieved you did. Nonetheless, if this continues…"

She didn't want to hear the words themselves from Dr. Hajime's lips. "Then what do you propose we should do, sensei?" She could feel the loud beating of her heart against her chest, and she gulped down the choking sensation making its way up her throat. She waited for her judgment and hoped that it wasn't what she thought it would be.

"We do the procedure again. Memories of him and Usui-san himself trigger the headaches that continuously constrict your head and it would soon-"

"No." Without meaning to disrespect the older woman, she tried to shut away the voices around her. She wouldn't go through it again. The procedure was difficult...but the pain of forgetting Takumi was the worst of it all. It was hell, losing the memories she had of him and not being able to remember who he was when he was right in front of her. She wouldn't go through it again. Not ever.

"Your eventual death is plausible if you won't do this."

Her head snapped up towards Dr. Hajime and she felt a sharp chill ran down her spine. She didn't want to hear it, but she did. And the words only seemed to bury themselves deeper in her head as she tried to deny the reality of it all. She can only look back at the older woman before her, who left her out of words. Misaki's gaze slowly drifted to her sister who stood beside Dr. Hajime, and she looked back at her with eyes full of worry and hurt. Suzuna clutched her sister's hand as her eyes, already welling up with tears looked at her pleadingly, "Onee-chan, I'm sorry but you have to do this."

Misaki was shocked to see her sister in this state; she was usually calm and aloof of everything around her but this time, she was gripping her hand tightly and was trying to stop her tears from flowing. It hurt to see her sister like this...and she hated that she was the one to cause this.

Suzuna pleaded her sister silently, her eyes shining brightly as she looked at Misaki.

They all turned at the creaking sound of the door, and Akira emerged through the now wider opening. She stood silently by the corner, eyes concealing so much from the world.

* * *

He watched her through the glass, feeling elated that she has finally woken up. The love of his life was there in front of him, amber eyes wide awake. He reached up a hand to his locks, running his fingers through the golden strands. He was so happy, he cannot stop the wide grin that has broken out on his face. His eyes welled up, blurring his vision but even then he can still see her fierce beauty, feeling the warmth emanating from her being from the other side of the room and clenching his heart tightly.

But he was afraid of showing himself to her, he felt that he did not deserve to see her after all the pain that he had caused her. The door stayed ajar, from where Suzuna emerged through the other side. He stood still in his spot, his fear making his body all rigid and not being able to take another step towards the room. But even then, he was more than satisfied. He ran his fingers across the cold surface of the one-way window, tracing her figure...and even though he cannot physically touch her, just being able to see her was more than enough.

Hell, it was just days since he last saw her and he felt as if he was risen back from death, when he saw those amber orbs that has kept the light in his life. How could he go on for the rest of his life, not being able to have her with him, let alone just see her? He loved her too much and it was very much evident from the overwhelming sensations filling up his system all at the same time.

He traced the thin line of her rosy lips, slightly flinching at the coldness of the glass when he was craving for the warmth of her being. "God, I've missed you so much."

He had the strong urge to run inside the room and take her to his arms.

" _Trust me when I say you don't know what the Walkers are truly capable of."_

His hand felt for the tape inside his pocket and reality had hit him again.

Maybe it really was for the best, as Cedric had implicitly told him...that he should just let her be.

"Aren't you going inside?" Akira was then standing beside him, watching him with piercing eyes. He barely looked at her.

Takumi took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his impending words, "No. It would do nothing good for the both of us." The corner of his lips tugged in a rueful smile.

She was the only girl he had loved...and he couldn't even stay by her side. He heard Akira's feet drag themselves into the adjacent room and he watched her stay still at the corner, just behind Dr. Hajime who revealed just about everything to Misaki.

"Be brave, Misaki." He almost laughed at his own words; no doubt Ayuzawa Misaki would smack him if she heard that from him. She didn't need the encouragement, for she was the bravest girl he had ever met in his entire life...and it was one of the countless reasons he fell in love with her.

He was broken all over and a crushing weight settled upon his shoulders that he couldn't be with her anymore.

But he will love her. Always.

He tore his eyes away from her and planted his gaze on the floor before taking a step back.

"When have you become such a coward, Takumi?" Her amber eyes were burning through the glass. Eyes wide open in shock, he looked at her and he felt his chest constricting. He did really love her, didn't he? It was the only explanation for this kind of sensation he's always feeling when he was with her.

He almost rushed into the room to carry her back to the bed; she really shouldn't be doing this but he knew her stubbornness just wouldn't let her be. It wasn't long that his eyes left her, but she had the tubes and lines already disconnected from her; he would have laughed at her unexpected actions non-stop if only things weren't like this. Suzuna was standing just behind her, ready to catch her before she falls down from weakness. Dr. Hajime and Akira was also close by, in high alert for when her body would give up on her.

He was sure she can't see him through the one way glass but he can feel the intensity from her beautiful amber eyes. It pained him further when hurt clearly laced her words.

"You think this was easier for me? To just forget you again when I've tried so hard to run back to you after all this time?" Her voice broke as more words came out of her. Soon, the tears were welling up in her eyes and he could see how she clenched her jaw to try not to let them fall. She placed her fist on the glass, lightly pounding on it in frustration at what's happening to them. He didn't respond, nor move an inch and just resigned to staring at her, receiving every pain that has tainted her soul. He placed a hand on the cold glass surface, fingers trying to grasp hers through the glass that separates them.

"Are we going to end just like this? Did everything that we go through just nothing for you? Do you really not love me anymore?" Tears were making their way down her face, and the sight of her crying feels as if someone was shoving a knife deeply into his chest.

"Don't cry, Misaki." He could barely finish what he said when his voice broke, betraying himself to her, showing her that this was also killing him. That all he said when he painstakingly let her go and broke up with her was all an act. That he still loved her so damn much and that he never got tired of her and would never even think that he may someday be. "I have to do this...I have to let you go. It's the only thing I can do to save you."

She could hear his voice from the door which stayed ajar, but all she can see through the glass was her reflection. Her heart cried to see him once again, she could feel his presence in front of her. She wouldn't let him leave this time; she had already gone through that and she barely survived life without him.

She raised her head up again indignantly but behind her strong facade, he could see how fragile she was and any more of this and she might break down. He wouldn't want to see that...he wouldn't want to be the _cause_ of that.

"If I were to hold your hand again, I won't be able to let you go."

"Then don't." Her feet moved in haste towards the door and she opened it widely, before pushing herself to the adjacent room.

His grief-stricken face welcomed her, cheeks stained. He had been crying as well. It felt as if there was a strong magnetic force that pulled her and she threw her body towards him, arms clutching to him as if he's her lifeline. He caught her in his arms, feeling her fingers digging into his shirt. He held her body in his, shaking hands making their way to her raven hair, his face burying in her intoxicating scent that never failed to haunt him during her absence. She clawed onto his back, hysteric sobs rocking her body as she cried into his chest.

"Don't do this, Takumi," her voice came out muffled but he can hear just how broken she was. He held her tighter inside his arms, relishing this moment to be able to hold her in his arms again. "I won't go through the procedure again. I don't care what happens...I won't let you be alone again. Let me stay by your side, pl-"

He sharply pulled away from her, his hands encasing her delicate face between them. His emerald eyes begged her. "Don't make this harder than it already is! Do you think I can live knowing that being with you will only kill you someday? I am not going to lose you, Misaki. Forget about me, I can live with it. I just have to know that you're alright. It doesn't matter that you're not with me anymore and that you can't remember anything about me. You're all I have...I can't lose you."

She was gripping his hands with hers, their foreheads leaning against each other. "Share your pain with me. You're not alone, Takumi, I'm here. Just trust me."

He leaned down and placed his lips on hers. Holding onto each other tightly, she threaded her fingers into his golden strands in desperation, pulling him closer to her as she pushed her mouth against his. Tears were streaming down her face as she held her love, the salty taste mixing into the bitterness of their forced separation. She had never loved and treasured someone as much as she did to Takumi, and she won't sit still when the world was threatening to take him away from her. He always tried to make things easier for her, never burdening her with his problems and bearing all the weight of the world on his shoulders. She can't have him going on like that; she hated the feeling of being useless when he was hurting by himself.

They pulled away briefly from the desperate need for air, but they were still holding each other tightly not ready to let go of each other despite everything that weighed down on them.

"You have to do it, Misaki." His emerald eyes burned into her amber ones, and he forced a smile. "For me."

She shook her head wildly, her hand tightly gripping his. "No...no, no."

"Don't think about me. I'll be alright, I promise." He painstakingly tore her away from him, forcing some distance between them. He brushed his lips against her forehead, lingering for a moment before pulling away. He took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers as he led her back to the room, where Dr. Hajime was waiting, Akira standing quietly beside her.

Suzuna was looking grimly at them from the corner of the bed. Takumi had placed his arms beneath Misaki's knees, lifting her up and pulling her body close to him as he laid her on the bed. She was gripping onto his shirt tightly still as he let go of her body. He lingered a tender gaze on her as he leaned down, catching her lips in a bittersweet kiss.

"I love you."

She tried to hold on one last time to his hand, but he gently pulled away from her.

"There's another way."

Dr. Hajime's eyes widened in shock as she looked at Akira, who stood nervously yet indignantly before her.


	16. XVI

**A/N: Two months...I didn't notice that time has passed by so quickly. I realized I didn't have the time to update this little fic even though my classes were relatively lighter the past two months. I went through some tough times that made it hard to function properly for weeks. Everything is a bit better now and I hope life has been good to you guys.**

 **Anyway, during my absence, I was able to write four chapters! Though these were rough drafts, it may mean that my updates would be slightly faster this time. I hope this chapter has been worth the long wait!**

 **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS, FAVORITES AND FOLLOWS! They really mean so much to me.**

 **Special mention to these lovelies:** _nikunjonafiun, Putriaryx, Guest (1), KitsunePI, 234myname, Padfoot Starfyre, Takumisa17, Minniemiss123, seirra 1567, ShadowofDarkness2004, Guest (2), ArrowBee_

 **Do leave some thoughts in your reviews! I love reading them and they just make me so happy :)**

 **HAPPY READING!**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

ただいま

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

Their silence and imposed ignorance of what was told to them has been going on for too long, and Misaki couldn't take it any longer. Takumi closed the door behind him, after she had stepped foot to his apartment. It was too much, the way they had been standing just a few steps away from each other, neither moving from their spot, yet it felt as if they were miles apart right now; he was right in front of her but he seemed so unreachable at the same time. She clenched her fists at her sides as she watched him walked towards his couch, sitting nimbly on the leather surface. He wasn't looking at her, just staring at the carpeted floor blankly but she knew him; thousands of thoughts must be running inside his mind as he kept to himself, and he was waiting for her to take a seat beside him.

 _Dr. Hajime looked at her most trusted assistant as if she has grown another head, her eyes wide in shock. Her lips pursed, she sent a glare to the younger girl, as if urging her not to spout out any more words._

 _Akira shook her head, nearing Dr. Hajime before gathering the doctor's hands within hers and squeezing them. "We've been working on this for years now, sensei. I know we're ready for this. Would you let everything end just like this? Because I know I don't want to...and I'm going to exhaust everything first before I let this be." She gave a meaningful glance at the distraught couple before her then gazed at the woman who practically became her second mother already, her eyes full of trust on her. "I know you can do this, sensei."_

Misaki took quiet steps, following him to the couch and sitting herself quite unsurely. But she maintained her composure, she needs to assert her decision to him and she won't back down regardless of his disapproval.

" _If there was a way other than this, I'd take it. Anything but erasing my memories of Takumi completely...I don't think I could live with that any longer." Misaki squeezed Takumi's hand in hers as she looked at Dr. Hajime in determination. She would do anything to keep herself from undergoing the memory erasing procedure again...she would not have the only man she loved erased from her life again._

 _Dr. Hajime shook her head indignantly at the raven-haired. "The reversal procedure is out of the question, Ayuzawa-san. I will not allow you, or anyone else for that matter, to go through it."_

" _If you wouldn't put the procedure into use, why did you spend years working on it anyway?" Akira muttered out in exasperation as she flailed her hands around._

Nails digging into her clenched fists, Misaki pushed out her voice, "I've made my decision, Takumi. I'll do it."

 _A resounding slap echoed throughout the room and for a moment everyone stood in shock, including Dr. Hajime who threw her hand across Akira's face. The older woman was in disbelief of what she had just done, though she kept the usual serious expression on her face at bay._

" _I don't want to risk it again. You know what happened back then." Dr. Hajime's voice was a tone deeper this time and Akira knew that she was already pushing her boundaries._

 _But the difference in this could mean everything._

 _Akira squeezed Dr. Hajime's hands in hers, offering all the trust she has to the woman before her. Hajime Kyouko gave her strength throughout all these years; now she would like to serve as this woman's strength._

" _So many things could go wrong in complicated procedures such as that. But I'm telling you this, sensei...it was not your fault. None of it was your fault. It was you who told me to believe in myself, and now I'm giving all of that back to you. I believe that the procedure can be carried out successfully. It's been years since it happened and I've seen you work every night so that it won't happen again."_

" _A person's life was taken away because of this procedure, Akira. Do you want to take that kind of risk again?" Dr. Hajime removed her aged hands from the girl's trembling ones and crossed her arms across her chest. She took a small bow in front of Misaki and Takumi. "I'm sorry, Ayuzawa-san...but I could offer you no other choice. I will deny you of the Reversal Procedure and that's final. I do highly suggest for you to take the Selective Memory Erasing Procedure one more time to prevent the repercussions I've told you about."_

 _With that, Dr. Hajime turned her back and left the room in silence. Akira stilled at her spot._

 _Takumi's emerald eyes stayed on Misaki, whose fingers were tightly clenching the white sheets of the bed. He knew what she was thinking, and he wouldn't let any of it happen._

"No." He had always respected her decisions. He never went against them and would back down because in their relationship, he knows Misaki is not one to follow him when it comes to making her decisions. This time it was different; he was going to do everything to stop her from doing this.

His answer resounded through the dark, the edge in his voice evident. She flinched a bit when she heard it and it didn't go unnoticed by his observant eyes.

"Why? Why won't you let me do-"

"DO YOU THINK I'D LET YOU DO IT AND JUST WATCH AS I LOSE YOU SLOWLY?" His voice cracked as he shouted.

He had his hands gripping her shoulders tightly, his emerald eyes wide in crazy desperation. It happened all too fast and she could do nothing but stare back at him in surprise at his sudden outburst. She was only able to understand now how much he had kept to himself these past few days, how much weight he had been bearing on his shoulders...and he didn't tell her once again, as he always did. His tight grip on her shoulders started to hurt, and he noticed it in her face. He immediately withdrew his hands, as if he was burned by the touch of her skin.

" _This might be the only way left so the two of you could stay together...I know Dr. Hajime from the several years I've worked with her," Akira took a burning look at the two, "But I'll be needing your help to convince her to carry out this procedure again."_

" _What exactly happened with the past procedure?" It was the first time Takumi muttered out a word since the fight between Akira and Dr. Hajime unfolded inside the room. His face was blank, though Misaki knew from his eyes that he was dead serious and it was at these times that he worried her deeply with what he was thinking._

 _Akira took slow steps towards them, heaving out a deep sigh as she clasped her hands together behind her back. "Almost the same situation as yours. Though at that time, it was the man who wished to retrieve all of his memories again. He wasn't able to hold on throughout the procedure; you see, it required great stamina and endurance so one could go through it successfully...and although the assessment before the procedure showed that, what happened was the contrary. It was an unfortunate event that left a permanent scar on sensei's heart; it took a long time for me move forward from it too."_

 _She looked at Takumi and then to Misaki, whose brows were knitted together in deep thought. "I just think it would be a shame to lose a love like you both have. That's why I'm fighting hard for the two of you. Hajime-sensei has been working on the modifications of this procedure for years and I'm confident that it could be carried out successfully with Ayuzawa-san here. I think that sensei is just deeply apprehensive about this because of that grave situation...but if you're willing to go through it, with the right push, I can persuade her to carry out the Reversal Procedure again."_

 _Akira gave out a small smile before looking back at Takumi, "After all, everybody deserves a second chance, right?"_

"I'm sorry," he muttered lowly, avoiding her amber eyes once again. It caused an ache in her chest, that he was being like this; she reached for his hands slowly and entwined her fingers with his, willing him to look at her. When he did, she leaned upon him and touched her lips with his. Though the different sensations that filled her entire body were still there, as with the times he always kissed her, this time there was a dull ache in her heart. She couldn't take how much he's hurting because of her, and she didn't like how much power she has over him that she was able to hurt him this way.

She pulled away slightly, still feeling his breath upon her lips. She tightened her hold on his hands.

"I-I wouldn't want to forget how it feels when you hold me." She opened her eyes and looked at his distraught eyes. And though, her embarrassment of saying how she truly feels was still there, she had to push through it and heal his pain. It was the least she could do. There was a light flush of pink on her cheeks, but she steadied her gaze on his. "I wouldn't want to forget j-just how much I love you."

She let go of his hands and held his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. "I wouldn't want to forget _you_."

A small smile tugged the corner of his lips and relief washed her system at the sight. She ran her fingers through his blonde hair and pulled her close to him, resting her face against his neck.

"I'd always keep running back to you. I would always know that there would be something missing in my life when you're not with me. I don't know what kind of stupid alien trick you did to me but I know that I can't quite live further without you beside me."

She heard him chuckle as his arms made their way around her waist and held her closer to his body. He planted a kiss on her temple as he relished in the feeling of comfort in her stayed like that for a few moments before he pulled her to his lap and lied on the couch with her above him. He placed an arm beneath his head for cushion and steadied his gaze on her as she looked down at him. His heart clenched when his amber eyes found their way to his emerald eyes and he took hold of a stray strand of hair with his fingers before placing it behind her ear. She smiled at him.

"I can do it,Takumi. Just trust me."

She traced his lips with the pads of her fingers, feeling the soft plumpness of it that she had somehow engraved in her memory already from all the times they made contact with hers. "Would you want to forget me too, if you were in my place?"

"I'd rather die."

A life without her? It would trace back to the times when he was imprisoned within the walls of that hollow mansion, where everyone just seemed to treat him as a nonexistent being. Those people who despite not saying it, just wished that he wasn't born at all...or maybe for death to come upon him so that they would have one less problem in their hands. He felt it every single day, when they refused to meet his eyes every time he saw them in the empty halls of the castle. The Walkers.

He placed his fingers tenderly beneath her chin and pulled her closer, planting a gentle kiss upon her lips. She was the only one who accepted him for who he really was, the only one who saw him and welcomed him in her arms.

She was the only one who truly loved him.

How could he live a life without her? When the past he had lived in before he met her was full of self-deprecation, his own life haunting him in his sleep every night?

"Then you understand what I must be feeling, don't you? I'm strong enough to do it. Trust me, Takumi."

She needed him with her and he can see it as he looked through her honest eyes. He heaved out a sigh before he reached up and kissed the top of her head. "I'll be with you the whole time."

She knew that he had finally agreed and placed her head comfortably over his chest, hearing his heartbeat in her ears, a sound that especially comforted her. She felt him shift slightly and sat up slowly, bringing her with him. He stood up and she looked at him questioningly as he made his way to his closet.

She felt her eyes welling up when he came back.

It was always the little things that mattered when she was with him.

He laid out the futon across the carpeted floor, grabbing the pillows on his couch and placing them on the white sheets. He reached out a hand for her, waiting for her to come to him.

"Idiot," she muttered softly and she walked towards him, "I didn't know you still had this."

He chuckled lowly before he tugged her with him on the sheets. He pulled her closer as he spooned his body over hers, face nuzzling into her raven hair. She leaned her head against his firm chest, placing her hands on top of his as his arms snaked around her waist.

He had finally fallen asleep peacefully after several nights of being haunted by her absence.

She had finally fallen asleep peacefully without the fear of him leaving her during her slumber.

Unlike the past few days, he hadn't woken up in time to see the sunrise with her, but holding her in his arms...it was everything that mattered to him.

* * *

"The original Selective Memory Erasing Procedure involved conditioning your brain to repress the memories of the entity you wanted to forget...do you remember that, Ayuzawa-san?"

Misaki dug her fingers on her knees as she tried to keep the inevitable fear at bay. She made a small nod as she tried to prod her mind further to resurface the memories of undergoing the first procedure. Most of her memories were back now, but it was still work, having to deal with the constant numbing migraines that consume her being. She bit her lip as she tried to wait for the pain to pass; Takumi who was sitting beside her wrapped an arm around her shoulders in gentle comfort.

Dr. Hajime went further on, "Since the Reversal Procedure basically does the opposite, this will also involve the reversal per se, of the conditioning the original procedure has set in your mind. You see, it requires grave endurance for one to successfully complete the procedure especially in the latter parts," she paused for a moment to allow the words to sink into the couple; there was no fooling around with the major risks involved in the procedure, but the benefits outweigh the adverse effects to a scale this time as Akira tried to show her (which in fact, took quite a long time), "Countering the effect of the original procedure will take a longer time; if the original procedure only took one long session, this will however take five."

Takumi sharply turned his head to the doctor and back at Misaki, who was now staring at the floor, thinking deeply. He felt her squeeze his hand placed around her shoulder before giving him a look of assurance.

"There will be a recuperation period of a week between each session, to make time for the recovery of your body. Same as before, electric shocks will still be administered, although at this time to a higher degree. What will happen is that we'll go over your memories of Usui-san, and when the headaches come again, the shocks will be administered to counter the effect in repetitions," Dr. Hajime retrieved a folder from within her drawers, "Did you bring the box?"

Misaki nodded her head as she withdrew the box from her bag quite unsurely. She glanced at Akira in hesitation to which Dr. Hajime chuckled softly.

"Don't worry Akira told me everything that happened already. Though several policies have been breached, I'll let it pass. I think I would too, if I were her." The older woman gave them a gentle smile before reaching for the box. "Any more questions?"

Akira threw in a soft remark of "I told you so, sensei." to which the older woman only rolled her eyes jokingly at.

Dr. Hajime passed the folder to Misaki to have her sign them to give her informed consent for the procedure. When everything was done, the doctor handed the folder to Akira.

She turned back to the two. "Ayuzawa-san, are you ready?"

She nodded her head at the older woman, with Akira smiling in encouragement from behind her; she really had done a lot for the both of them and she was grateful for that. Takumi shifted quietly in his seat.

" _I have decided not to abandon. No matter what kind of path I choose, if some sort of sacrifice must be made, it is only Ayuzawa I will not sacrifice."_

He betrayed his own words back then...but now he planned to stay true to them.

He held her hand and entwined her fingers with his, rubbing his thumb across the smooth surface of her palm. He neared it to his lips and planted a kiss on it, lingering a bit to her warmth. When he had let go, he kissed her forehead, pouring out the strength he has left within him to the tight grip he has on her hand.

" _Because I think if I am with Ayuzawa, I can overcome anything."_

All he wanted was to serve as her strength, just as she had given him during those times he needed it. He knew that she was a strong woman, and he never doubted her tenacity...but this was something that scared him more than anything else. Too many times had he almost lost her, and he wouldn't even dare go through it again.

She would get through this.

He looked at her amber eyes. He knew her, with just one look…there was a shiny quality to them, and he could see the fear behind the strength she tried to project with her amber orbs. His emerald eyes softened at this, he was scared too.

But he believed in her... _they_ would get through this. It would be for the both of them.

With a fleeting kiss on her lips, he gently nudged her towards the room.

"I'll be right here," he mouthed, before the door closed behind her.

He knew that they would overcome this...because he had her with him.


	17. XVII

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :)**

* * *

 ** _TADAIMA_**

 _ただいま_

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

It felt surreal, to be standing in front of this place for one last time.

Seika High disgusted Ayuzawa Misaki when she first got here, its hallways crawling with sleazy men who knew nothing about proper manners and etiquette. Females were only a handful in number and she hated how she had to deal with the male population in a daily basis...at first at least. But she would be lying if she said she was leaving this place without any strings attached.

What then could explain the small pang in her heart as she watched her whole class before her, screaming their lungs out as she ended her speech? The way their eyes filled with tears, of sadness of leaving and of relief of finally graduating high school...it was all such a genuine display and a hit of reality that indeed this part of her life is coming to an end. It seemed to clench her heart more as she stepped down from the podium.

From singing the hymn, in a blink of an eye, diplomas were thrown in the air, the guys mostly jumping and screaming while the girls laughed at the display of robust. Sakura and Shizuko have tugged her and took photos together, Sakura mostly crying out loud in between shots. Shizuko surprisingly let her be and did not take it to scolding the pink-haired girl but instead pulled her in a hug. Misaki smiled at the display and felt the pang in her heart again...finishing high school meant not seeing the two every single day; she has grown too fond of them.

There was a soft chuckle from her and Sakura looked up from crying to find Misaki looking at them fondly. "Don't just stand there, Misaki! Come here!"

"Smile!" Despite the tears, the girls displayed toothy grins in front of the camera Sakura was holding.

They turned at someone clearing his throat. The bouquet of red roses blocking his face, the blonde moved it aside and produced a dashing smile to his girlfriend, to which the girls of Seika High screamed for. Everyone seemed to stop from what they're doing and watched from behind the student council president.

Takumi took slow, torturous steps towards Misaki, a mischievous smile painted on his face. She rolled her eyes as her boyfriend obviously put on a show for everyone, holding a bouquet of roses with one hand, looking dashing in a shirt and pants with his black coat draped over him.

"Omedetou, Misaki," his deep voice drawled out. Takumi slipped a look at the students of Seika High before pulling his girlfriend by the waist and crashing his lips against hers.

Gasps mixed with dreamy sighs filled the background as he felt Misaki stiffen against his body. After a moment he pulled away, the raven-haired still in shock with her amber eyes wide open. The familiar color of red soon seeped into her cheeks once again before she sputtered out in a hiss, "You fucking idiot."

He chuckled as he planted his lips on her forehead as a response. She pulled back from his arms for a moment and turned, taking one last lingering look at the facade of Seika High.

Heaving out a deep sigh, a ghost of a smile painted her face as her most treasured memories in this place flashed in her mind. When she looked back at Takumi, he was gazing fondly at the rooftop with a small smile tugging his lips. She laughed silently at this and knew for sure what he might be thinking. She took hold of his hand and when ambers meet emeralds once more, she tiptoed and reached for his lips, reminiscing how they had first shared their kiss on that same rooftop.

"I remember," she muttered quietly when they pulled back, wide smiles painted on their faces.

* * *

Misaki heaved out a sigh for the upteenth time as she folded her clothes neatly and placed them at one corner of her bed. For a while, she had been staring at the white wall of her room before her daze was interrupted by her mother opening her door. It was a first, in weeks, to find her mother gracing their house at this time of the day; usually she would be at the hospital working through the night.

"Kaa-san, is there something wrong?" Misaki scooted over to one side of her bed to give some space for her mother sit on. Minako gathered her daughter's hands in hers and stared right through her, giving the question back to her.

"Something's bothering you." She didn't pose it as a question anymore, it would be unnecessary to play around with words with her eldest daughter. With a gentle smile, she squeezed her daughter's hand.

Ayuzawa Minako was no stranger to how her daughter was with Usui Takumi, though her knowledge did come from the limited sources of what the news had told her and some carefully selected clarifications from the two themselves. It was still just Misaki that knew of Takumi's dreadful past with the Walkers.

Misaki contemplated for a while, whether she should tell her mother or not. It would show how vulnerable she was and that act certainly didn't make her comfortable with it. She took in a deep breath before finally speaking, "We have only about a week left before he has to leave."

Minako didn't miss how her daughter ended what she said with a slight break in her voice. Her sincere eyes trailed to Misaki's face and she could see how she tried to hide her distraught with a tight look on her young face. "I know how difficult it is to part with the one you love, Misaki."

Misaki rose her sight to her mother and put out a small smile for her with a slight nod of her head. Just thinking about how she would have to let go of Takumi again could push her to the edge of the cliffs; any moment she feels as if she could go insane.

"But I know in my heart that you two would get through this. Make do with all you've got," the corners of Minako's lips tugged upwards in a smile.

For a moment, Misaki darted her gaze towards the floor...the feeling of despair slowly seeping into her system as she thought about what may come upon her and Takumi.

And then, she poured it all out, "I'm scared of losing him." Soon, tears were streaming down her face uncontrollably. "When he left me back then, my world just fell apart. And then he came running back and god, I think I just love him too much, okaa-san. I don't want him to leave, but I know he would be doing this for the both of us."

The hiccups came up and she could no longer speak of anything. Minako, wide-eyed at first pulled her daughter in a hug and rubbed her back comfortingly. The sobs rocking her body soon died down and Minako patted her daughter's back in soothing intervals. "You are strong and brave, Misaki. And I know how this must be breaking you. I'm sure Usui-kun is suffering as well...he would not want to leave too. But all I can offer you is my strength for you to get through this. It would all be worth it in the end, I'm sure of that."

Minako pulled back and looked at her daughter's reddened eyes. She smiled, "All it takes is a little bit of patience."

* * *

Her next days were already reserved for him. He appeared at their doorway with a duffel bag close to him, a dashing smile on his face.

Misaki bid goodbye to her mother and sister after Takumi greeted them in brief chit-chat. Closing their front door behind them, his finger laced into hers, bringing it up to his face to plant his lips on the soft skin of her hand.

"I missed you," Takumi told her with a lopsided smile before he bent down and caught her lips in his.

"Idiot, we just saw each other two days ago." Their foreheads were leaning against each other as amber eyes stared intently at emerald ones. His arms have snaked their way around her waist, her nimble fingers clutching onto his coat to pull him closer to her. For a while, the two just reveled in each other's warmth before they pulled apart and headed to the bus stop.

Misaki stared at their intertwined fingers as they walked.

 _All it takes is a little bit of patience._

She looked up and found Takumi staring back at her. With a small smile, she tiptoed and reached for his lips.

* * *

He didn't think he would be able to see this place again.

And he also didn't think that he would see it with her in his arms. She was sitting on his lap, head leaning against his chest. His fingers were playing with the tresses of her raven hair as the cold winds move past them in the porch of the small cabin. His feet were moving slightly so as to rock the wooden chair slowly.

It was weeks already since they've set foot in this place, but it seemed as if time stopped moving and this peaceful countryside was stuck in its own little world; nothing changed. It was kind of ironic that they were back here before they have to say goodbye to each other just as how it was back then. Even though it seemed inevitable then, they were able to make it through...but now, it seemed as if there's no stopping their separation.

The once serene smile painted on the blonde's face was now replaced with an expression of disdain; he would really have to leave her this time despite not wanting to. It was a miracle the Walkers gave him some time after his graduation from Miyabigaoka days before Seika High's was; they gave him two weeks - for being a good boy that is. He knew that Cedric knew, so it was a great shock for him to not encounter any oppositions from the other party...did that man lie for him? If he really did, there must be some kind of payment in return for the 'favor' waiting at his arrival.

"You're frowning."

He looked down and found her beautiful face staring up at him in question, her eyebrows knitted together. His fingers smoothed out the wrinkles on her forehead. His lips soon replaced where his fingers were as he planted a kiss on the cold surface of her skin. "Don't worry about me."

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Though the wrinkles on her forehead were no longer visible, he could see through her breathtaking amber eyes and he knew just how she was feeling at the moment; like him, she was also slowly breaking inside.

He tucked his head into her neck and held her closer to his body. "I'm sorry I have to leave you, Misaki."

She shushed him gently and she threaded her fingers through the golden strands of his hair. "It's not your fault." She patted his head calmly, though inside there was a raging storm inside her head as she felt her heart slowly breaking into pieces at the display of vulnerability of the love of her life. She gently pulled away from him, and stared through his emerald eyes. "Let's not think about that. We came here to spend as much as time as we could with each other, didn't we?"

Engulfing his face in her hands, she smiled for him, "Let's go downtown and forget about everything just for this time."

"I'd much prefer spending the whole day with you in bed...doing things I-"

She smacked his arm and Takumi chuckled, nursing the swollen area.

"You really know just what to say to ruin everything, you fucking pervert!"

* * *

"Looks like there's a festival the local shrine is holding," Misaki muttered as she looked at the parade of lanterns lining the stone pathway leading to the shrine of the small countryside. There were a litter of stalls, foods and games alike, placed in intervals at the gardenside. She felt Takumi tug at her hand.

"Let's go there," he pointed with his free hand like a child who has just seen an amusement park, his other hand tugging slightly at their conjoined hands. There was a twinkling quality in his emerald eyes as he stared at the lights shining through the night, she could almost strangle him for being so cute.

Misaki shook her head and tightened her hold on his hand as she lead the way inside. "First time in a shrine festival?" She received a small nod in response from Takumi; she smiled at the adorable display of her boyfriend. He was always so cute whenever she saw him getting giddy in silent as he does small things such as this that she was used to as a child for the first time. They had to push through the small crowd of people starting to thicken as they went further inside.

There was a small stand serving tea contained in large black pots. The old lady with gentle eyes tending the stall nimbly poured tea into two small paper cups and offered them to Misaki with a smile. The latter neared the stall, leaving Takumi behind as he stared in wonder at his surroundings, to receive the cups with a bow.

"Kareshi?" the older woman asked her. Up close, her eyes were more of a moon shape and disappeared when she smiled. Misaki's cheeks flushed as she gave a slight nod. "You look good together."

Misaki chuckled lightly in response, "Thank you for the tea. How much for it?"

"No, it's free. The shrine takes pride of producing one of the most outstanding tea in the area. People from town would even travel here to get a taste. We give it for free during the annual festival of our shrine."

Misaki nodded in thanks again and bid her goodbye as she returned to Takumi to give him his cup. They took sips of delight as they wandered further inside.

They found a stand with a younger lady tending it. Blank talismans decorated the stand, a group of paintbrushes with a bottle of ink placed at the side.

"I think this is perfect for you two," the lady told them; she had flowing dark red hair tied with a ribbon behind her back, a smile brightening up her slightly tanned face. She continued on, "For years, couples who have used these talismans and prayed sincerely to the land goddess had their wishes granted."

Takumi looked at Misaki, his eyes lightening up once more; she knew alright, he wants to try this.

"You would have to write the wish your hearts desire before proceeding to the shrine to offer a prayer to the land goddess. After that, go to the Sakura Tree standing behind the shrine and tie your talismans to the branches."

She didn't really believe that writing on talismans would grant what people want - it was all about hard work. Nevertheless, she still gave in, seeing that he was already writing something on his talisman with his back turned against her. She shook her head and received the blank talisman the young lady was offering her.

Finished with writing, the two walked closer to the shrine. After grabbing the ropes to ring the bells, they clapped twice before bowing down to ask for the land goddess to grant their wishes. Hand in hand, they moved towards the back of the shrine slowly as they appreciated the serene nature. They were alone this time, but there were a handful of talismans already decorating the tree together with the hanging lanterns lighting up the area.

Misaki moved towards the tree, standing beneath the pink petals with her mouth slightly agape in awe for a moment. She closed her eyes as she made one final wish under the tree.

He watched her under the moonlight, the cool breeze of the blossoming spring blowing past them. Sakura trees were supposed to be at the beginning of their blossom, but the one they were under was almost at its peak. As the wind blew again, petals were showering them in a spectacle for viewing but it was not what left him agape in awe. Unlike her, he was not focused on the beauty of the cherry blossom.

No, it stood nothing against the one he truly loves.

Because seeing her, ever so beautiful, standing in front of him with her eyes closed as she made a wish under the Sakura tree, everything faded into the background. Because looking at her, right at that moment, it all suddenly felt too real as he imagined her in a grand white dress, her face partly concealed behind the veil...promising vows of living the rest of their lives together.

The wind blew again, the petals flowing through the air as if it was raining sakura flowers...and right then, she opened her eyes and flashed him a majestic smile - the same smile that has always lighted up his world. Two visions seemed to merge into one as he took slow strides towards her. He imagined pulling up her veil, and he put his arms around her waist. He leaned down and touched his lips with hers. The same electric jolt was there, just as when he had first kissed her on the rooftop. He had always loved her, though he was sure he was falling for her harder each day. He coaxed her mouth to open up for him and as soon as they touched each other, he wanted to rid of everything in the world and focus on the wondrous feeling of having her. His hand cradled her cheek, thumb rubbing the smooth surface of her skin as he tasted heaven from her.

They pulled away, heaving deeply as they tried to catch their breaths. Foreheads leaning on each other, arms still around one another, both savored the moment of this heavenly feeling consuming them.

When they finally untugged their arms from each other's bodies, Misaki went on to tie her talisman to a branch she can reach. He could feel his heart drum loudly against his chest as he stared at his talisman he just tied at a higher branch than hers.

His hand founds its way to hers as emerald eyes stared right through her amber ones.

"What did you write in yours?" Misaki asked in pure curiosity, eyebrows raised. Takumi chuckled and planted a quick kiss on her nose.

"It's a secret, Misa-chan." He chuckled softly and began to tug her slowly away from the tree.

Before they had the chance to move too far away, she quickly looked back and squinted to read his wish from a slight distance. An immediate feeling of something lighting up every nerve of her body consumed her being as a smile made its way to her face.

They both would have to wait for it.

His wish.

 _Usui Misaki_

* * *

 _A/N: I'm back finally! Feels good to be able to write again, to be honest._

 _I'm kinda surprised to find this fandom inactive despite it being the holidays? Let's help each other out! If you're still reading fanfics in this archive, leave a review for the lovely authors of this fandom to give them support for continuing on writing. Writers and readers alike keep this treasured site alive so you know what to do ;)_

 _Thank you for all the lovely reviews you've left for this little fic of mine and I hope you continue doing so. I'm truly grateful for you taking the time to read this, as well as hitting up the fav and alert button._

 _I hope you enjoy the holidays!_


	18. XVIII

**_TADAIMA_**

 _ただいま_

 _(I'm home)_

* * *

Usui Takumi woke up, chest heaving deeply as his eyes immediately scanned his surroundings.

 _It was just a dream...a nightmare._

His underlying fear started translating into his dreams when he slept; it bothered him throughout the day - the fear of losing her - whether he was awake or not.

He shook out of his trance when he felt a movement beside him. Wiping off the cold sweat that has formed on his forehead, he felt the corner of his lips being tugged in a smile as he watched the soft fall and rise of her chest beneath the white duvet that currently covered their bodies.

He tried to shove the thoughts away from his mind as he moved closer to her. Her rosy lips were slightly open and she snored softly in her sleep.

 _She must've been tired._ It was no doubt, as he watched her fight with all she has with every mind-numbing procedure she had to go through so they could be together again...and this had him falling all the more harder for her as he felt every single day just how much she loved him, in every little way she does.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a snore slightly louder this time. Chuckling lightly, he fingered the strands of her hair aside and ran the back of his hand gently across her face. He laid down once again on the futon and pulled her bare body closer to him. Shivering from the warmth her body offered him, he started planting kisses from the side of her neck to the smooth skin of her shoulder. He bit lightly on her skin and licked the reddened area soonafter, smirking at the thoughts of her reaction later on as the mark would make itself more visible later.

She stirred slightly in her sleep and turned around to his side, snuggling closer to his chest. Takumi gulped down as he felt _every_ inch of her skin flushed against his, feeling all the blood in his system traveling towards a certain area of his body below. He moved slightly so as not stimulate himself further but Misaki had taken it to herself to pull him closer once again.

A growl could be heard as he laid on his back and lifted her body to lay on top of him. Misaki, sensing herself change in position opened her eyes slowly and was shocked to find herself already resting on top of her boyfriend's body. She immediately pushed herself away from him at the sudden realization of their current predicament, but the arms tied around her waist prevented her from doing so. "Y-you perverted alien, put me down!" her voice croaked out.

"You should own up to the naughty things you do, Misa-chan. You're the one who pushed me into this…" he suggested teasingly, a mischievous expression on his face, though hiding behind it was a certain feral being that would have shown itself if he hadn't tried to distract himself by teasing his lovely girlfriend.

"We just did it last night!" She squeaked as she felt his lips on her neck once again, leaving trails of warmth upon their wake as he nibbled on her skin.

"I could never get enough of you," he told her in a low and husky voice as he resurfaced once again and gazed at her with darkened emerald eyes. There it was, that feral expression on his face.

Misaki would be lying if every time she saw her boyfriend turn like that, does nothing to her. It meant a _whole lot_ as she found her stomach fluttering, a certain sensation of intense warmth crawling through her skin, the tingles traveling throughout her entire body as he touched her.

Unconsciously, she moved her hips and both groaned out at the heavenly sensation of being connected with each other for a moment. She looked up at him and found his emerald eyes staring back at her in a distracted daze, waiting for both of their unbecoming. Misaki blinked for a moment at what she had just done and broke into a fit of giggles at her boyfriend. The name she had given to him really suits him.

"You're really a perverted alien, eh?" she told him as she reached up for his lips. Her tongue entered his mouth the moment it made contact with his lips, and Takumi snorted at the sudden display of boldness of the raven-haired. She pulled away from him and planted a kiss on his nose.

"Only with you, Misaki." He winked at her. Misaki rolled her eyes as she sat on him and started moving towards their undoing.

* * *

"Stop teasing me, or," he licked the area of her neck that he had bitten to soothe the pain, "we'll both soon die of hunger."

Misaki wounded her legs around his waist as he pushed her further the kitchen counter until her back was flushed against the wall. Her moans mixed with his groans rained the kitchen, the stir-fried vegetables he was cooking left unattended on the stove. His white button-down which barely covered her body as his hands roamed around her skin like wildfire was opened halfway as he left marks on her skin with his lips. He was only wearing his pajama bottoms and she took this moment to run her hands across the hard planes of his chest to engrave the memory of his skin in her senses.

"More like we'll die of a kitchen fire if you don't go back to cooking soon," Misaki pointed out as she pulled herself away to catch her breath. The sensations his lips and his fingers had given her were becoming too much. Takumi made a low growl at the image of his girlfriend all flushed and panting in front of him, that he had to literally tear himself away from the temptress to go back to what he was doing prior to their messing around.

Misaki buttoned up his white shirt as she hopped down from the dark granite counter. She moved towards the cupboard and reached for some plates and bowls to prepare for their overdue breakfast; this might as well be called a brunch as it was nearing noon already, thanks to their previous activities of not being able to keep their hands off of each other. She blushed deeply at the thought as she carried the serving plates towards him.

"I'm putting a one meter rule between us, Misa-chan, until I finish cooking. If you break this, I have no choice but to take you on the cold counter, right then and there," he muttered lowly, the teasing in his voice quite absent; he was serious, alright.

Misaki rolled her eyes as she whispered 'pervert' before she took a wooden stool for herself behind the kitchen island.

 _Not that she wouldn't like that, anyway._

She almost slapped herself senseless as soon as the thought dawned on her. She watched his back as he moved effortlessly in the kitchen, and remembered the time she came here when she sought him for answers...that time when she still didn't understand why she was feeling that way towards him even when she had no memory of him.

She remembered watching his back that night, while he was cooking in the kitchen too. That night of holding back. That night when despite, remembering nothing about him, she knew that he was someone important in her life; when despite, he denied having anything to do with her, she knew she had loved him deeply. She smiled at the memory; they have indeed come so far.

She just finished her third procedure the previous week, before her graduation in Seika. The fourth procedure happened just a few days ago; Dr. Hajime wasn't kidding when she told them it would be more difficult to go through the latter ones. The process was grueling, having to endure the hours of having electric shocks of high intensity deemed bearable for a human being in order to reverse the original effects of memory erasing procedure. She would be inside a room with these wires connected to her head and sit through the whole process of gritting her teeth as she tried to endure the pain.

Thank goodness there was only one final procedure left for the following week. Though it would mean Takumi would not be able to be with her throughout; he is bound to leave for England tomorrow before dawn - his loneliness and wanting to stay with her evident through his increased attachment to her the previous days. She was sure it wasn't one-sided.

A frown befell her face at the thought of him leaving in just a few hours away, she didn't notice Takumi had already prepared the food on the table. His emerald eyes were staring at her, waiting for her to escape the trance she put herself in. Hastily removing her hands from under her chin, she sat up straight on her stool.

"Sorry, I was supposed to fix everything after you finished cooking." Misaki focused her gaze on the marble surface of the kitchen island. They promised each other - that they wouldn't talk about it until the moment comes- because it just left a stabbing pain in their chests at the thought of their separation.

There was the sound of the wooden stool scraping against the floorboards and he was by her side in an instant. Warm soon enveloped her body as he put his arms around her waist, pulling her in an embrace. He nuzzled his face into her raven hair as she tried to stifle her sobs against his chest. She didn't even notice her tears started falling.

It was silent for a few moments before she tugged away from him. Lips forming a small smile, she gave a small nod to Takumi before he went back to his seat.

"I've always loved your cooking," Misaki mumbled as she took a sip of the miso soup.

Takumi chuckled; compliments from her came in rarely. He watched her fondly.

"I know."

* * *

It was still dark when they arrived, the night sky still covering the sun despite it being the wee hours of the morning already.

Each step seemed to be getting heavier as they made their way beyond the gates of the private airport. Soon, when the plane revealed in sight, they stopped.

Takumi moved to face Misaki, who was gripping his hand tighter as the minutes passed. She faced him, not lifting her gaze to meet his waiting eyes. "Take care of yourself over there."

A sad smile painted his lips as he looked at her, whose eyes focused on the concrete; it was all too much, an overwhelming feeling inside his chest that he couldn't bear. He tugged at her wrist, and she landed into his hard chest with a soft thud just as he engulfed his arms around her in a tight embrace. "That's all you had to say?"

Silence covered the serene atmosphere as they stood there, not minding the world for a moment.

"I'm going to miss you." Her words were barely audible as she buried her face deeper into his chest. She was embarrassed to have said such a thing…she wanted to ask him to stay but it would be a selfish thing for her to do so she settled on the words that escaped her lips.

She felt the arms around her waist tighten as his face nuzzled deeper into the crook of her neck. "You're so cruel, Misa-chan."

She tried to shove her fist between them but he didn't budge. "What did I do now, you idiot?"

"How could I leave, now that you've said that?" His fingers threaded through her raven hair as he pulled her head closer. "I knew I shouldn't have let you come and bid me farewell. This makes it all difficult."

Misaki clutched his coat in her hands as she tried to pull him closer to rid every inch of distance between them. "Promise me you'll return." She looked up at him and sought out his emerald eyes, glinting down at her. It was still quite dark but surely enough the sun would rise soon; shades of orange were starting to lightly paint the sky. "And when something happens, don't you dare keep it to yourself and tell me, no matter how far apart we are from each other...promise me."

A chuckle from him made both of their bodies shake a little. He planted his lips on her forehead, then placed his chin on her head. "I will. I don't know how I'll survive not having you with me there."

He moved his other hand from holding her waist, to reaching out for her hand. He laced his fingers with hers and tenderly smiled at how his heart had picked its pace just from the mere touch of her hand. He would surely miss feeling this.

He would fight for the both of them, just as how she fought for them every single time she had undergone the Reversal Procedure. And then he could have her back in his arms again.

"Oh, that reminds me…"

Misaki pulled away from him gently and reached for the photograph from within the pocket of her jeans. She held out the photo to him and anxiously waited for his reaction with a flush across her cheeks. She avoided looking at him as he took the photo from her hand, half expecting him to laugh and tease her for doing something like this.

But nothing happened.

No word, no chuckle, no teasing...no anything.

She looked at him once again in haste, and found him staring intently at her...his gorgeous emerald eyes with a shining quality against them. The sun was starting to rise behind him, the colors of bright yellow slowly starting to seep into the sky, and it made him all the more breathtaking than he already was; her face flushed a deeper red color at having such thoughts. She gulped down, "What's wrong? Why are you not saying anything?"

He looked at the photo held between his fingers once again and a tender smile made its way to his face. It was the photo he had taken of them during their first date; he was holding her close to him with a smirk while she had looked at the camera with her lovely blushing face. The words were stuck in his throat but to be honest, he didn't even know what to say to her when all he could feel was the constricting sensation inside his chest and the overwhelming feeling of not wanting to leave her all at the same time.

He only did what he always wanted to do at times like this. He pulled her to him sharply and pressed his lips against hers, savoring her sweet taste. Misaki had her amber eyes wide open at first, but soon closed them gently and smiled before she responded to his mouth moving against hers. She felt the butterflies in her stomach fluttering wildly as she wounded her arms around his neck, his arms pulling her closer by her waist, their bodies rendered flushed against each other.

They pulled away after a while, both heaving deeply as they tried to catch their breaths. Takumi placed his forehead against hers once again, this time doubting himself if he can even let her go soon.

"I thought that if you had this, you would have something with you whenever you'd feel lonely out there."

He pulled his head from leaning on hers as he gazed at her lovingly. He smiled at her. "Thank you," he uttered out softly. The pads of his fingers grazed the soft skin of her cheek as his hands cradled her face. "I don't want to leave anymore…"

His lips planted soft kisses across her face, engraving the memory of the feel of her skin in his mind.

"If you want it to come true, I think you'd have to..." she paused for a moment, reveling in the wondrous feeling of his lips. Sighing out deeply, Misaki continued, "your wish."

 _Usui Misaki_

He pulled his face away from nuzzling her neck and looked at her in confusion. Misaki gave him a soft smile before continuing, "I got a peek of it by accident before we left the temple."

"That's unfair. I have no idea what you put in yours."

She chuckled softly at the childish pout her boyfriend displayed before her and intertwined her fingers with his once again. She stood at the tip of her toes and planted her lips on his for a moment before pulling away. Takumi looked at her wide-eyed before his eyes softened into a tender expression.

"I think I basically wished for the same...I wished that I," her hand tightened its hold on his, "could stay with you always…"

His other hand reached for something inside his pocket and held a long red velvet box out in front of him. Misaki waited as he opened the box in front of her slowly. The simple gold band tied with a golden chain glinted off in the newly risen rays of the sun and he gently picked up the necklace by the band. She didn't realize she was holding her breath as the corner of his lips tugged in a small smile.

He unchained the necklace before moving behind her. Gathering the silky strands of her raven hair to one side, he planted a soft kiss on the spot between her neck and shoulder and Misaki sighed at the tingling sensation his lips gave her. He chained the necklace gently.

His arms moved to her waist and pulled her close to him, placing his chin on her shoulder as they both watched the sunrise. Misaki placed her hands over his and tangled her fingers with his warm ones.

"I'll put it on your finger once I come back." It was unspoken between them when that day will come, but both know that one day they'll be reunited once again. For now, they both have to hold on for each other...for their future together.

"Was that a proposal?" she softly muttered as she leaned her head back onto the hard planes of his chest, "I haven't even said yes yet."

He chuckled as he tightened his hold on her. "You would have anyway."

"Idiot."

She pulled away from him gently and turned around to face him; she didn't miss the slight frown that marred his features as she did so. She ran her fingers across his cheek and he closed his eyes as he leaned his head into her hand, into the only source of warmth that he wanted to feel for the rest of his life.

They both know...he has to go.

His emerald eyes showed themselves once more to her, this time glistening in the sunlight. "I want this to be the moment that will be engraved into my mind when I go to England. I don't want it to be ruined by the image of anything else."

Misaki smiled. "What kind of foolishness are you up to now?"

"Close your eyes and don't open them until you turn around."

Her amber eyes gazed into his emerald eyes, feeling the constricting feeling inside her chest. How she'll miss looking into them for the next days… or months… or maybe years. She nodded her head at him.

She closed her eyes and the moment she did, she felt his lips on hers once again. It was a brief, sweet kiss and she sighed into his lips before they both pulled away, eyes still closed.

"Whatever happens, just trust me Misaki."

She felt her hot tears running down her face as she bit her lips to try to stop herself from sobbing up more. "O-okay."

Both turned around at the same time and neither saw each other as they walked in opposite directions, Takumi towards the private jet plane where Cedric was waiting for him, and Misaki back towards the private airport lobby.

She traced the gold band between her fingers, and swallowed the choking sensation making its way up her throat.

 _I'm sorry, Takumi._

She wanted to see him for one last time. She turned around sharply.

There he was, the first one to break their promise, standing behind her in a distance, a sad smile painted on his face as he watched her.

He mouthed something to her and she knew it right away, the way her heart clenched as she read his lips.

 _Aishiteru_

"I love you, too," Misaki mouthed back. Takumi smiled once again and he motioned his head for her to turn around again.

It would be a long time before they could have each other in their arms again, that they knew. But they also knew that they would have to endure their temporary separation for the sake of their future.

She played with the words on her lips and felt her eyes welling up once again. It would happen soon enough...she just had to be patient while waiting for it. She held the ring between her fingers and smiled at the thought.

 _Usui Misaki_

"I'll be waiting for you, Takumi."

* * *

 _A/N: Lemme die in feels now :(_

 _I intended to post this on New Year's Day but I got caught up in playing my ukulele and watching Akagami no Shirayukihime (any other fans out there? :) )._

 _A huge thank you to the lovely people who left a review! Thank you for keeping this fandom alive! I am grateful as well to the favorites and follows for this story. Do leave comments once again, I love reading them. And Takumi's going back to England, what might this entail? Hmmmm..._

 _May 2018 be a better year for all of us!_

 _How was your New Year's Eve? I spent mine eating haha_


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